The Rebel Kind
by rivereq
Summary: Rose Hathaway is popular, pretty and seems to have it all. When she's put together with the schools rebel, Dimitri Belikov, he quickly finds out everything is not as it seems with her. Can she keep the charade up or will love break it all down? AH.OOC.
1. Chapter 1

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 1:** In the Company of Wolves.

'Ms. Hathaway, your grades seem to be dropping rapidly and you haven't done much to help getthem up in any way. Is there something going on thatyou can't find the time to do the work I assign?'

I hate when people ask questions regarding if there's something wrong, especially teachers. I know it's my fault she's concerned with my grades and wants to know why I've been turning in half-assed work or no work at all. I have my reasons and they're actually pretty good ones, but I can't tell her them. I can't tell her that I barely do book reports because I hardly have the actual time to read a book. Or write essays on the works of all the authors we've studied in class because that takes time to go back to notes, re-read chapters in the literature book we were assigned, and type them up on a computer; doubled spaced with a cover page. I barely have time to stand here for the few minutes she's asked of me because I have to pick up Meredith from the bus and then come right back for cheer practice.

The room seems to shrink as she awaits my reply and all I do is shrug. I keep my eyes looking past Ms. Karp onto the whiteboard that carries our next essay, which is due on Friday. It's written in deep red dry-erase marker. 'No problems really, just minimum time with cheer and stuff...'

She picks up her thick framed glasses with one finger that were barely hanging on the tip of her nose. After clearing her throat, she takes out a yellow post-it and jots something down in blue ink pen. I can't see what it is exactly, but it sets a bad feeling in my gut. 'Well, you leave me no choice then and I know as co-captain of the cheerleaders you need passing grades. So that leaves you with two options: the first is todrop my class, which won't look good since it's in the middle of the semester and you'll end up graduating in the summer. The second is gettinga tutor.' She didn't have to finish anything else she wanted to say after the mention of a tutor. The thought of one just made me scowl; another thing I didn't have time I didn't for.

'A tutor?' She nods and continues writing on the post-it in her messy cursive. 'Now, I know you won't drop the class you need English credits to pass. So take this with you to the library on Monday after school and they will assign you a tutor.'

She hands me the small yellow note and I still stare at her in disbelief as I numbly take it in my hand. When walking through the halls of ST. Vladimir's High School, I ignore the waves and nods of all the people I know who attend here, which is a lot. I don't normally do this, I'm usually more social, but the thought of everything Karp has stacked on my already full plate makes me weary.

I get to my locker in the girls locker room and hear all the girls talking away about their weekend plans. It was Friday, there was about twenty-five minutes before practice and I had to change, race across campus to pick up Mer from the bus stop and then race back in time for warm-ups. Lissa dresses and talks with Mia and Avery while I open my locker and stuff the yellow paper in my back pack.

'Hey, Rose, where were you?' Liss turns to me as I gather my shorts and tank I practice in and begin to change.

'Karp wanted to see me about my grades.' The girls oh and grimace at my words, Liss knowing full well I was having a hard time with that class. We had it together and it was the last one of the day.

'I don't get it**;** you used to ace English like nothing. What's with the lagging, Rosemarie, too much Adrian time on your hands?' All three girls laugh at Avery's joke, but I don't. He wasn't the reason I was falling behind in class.

Adrian, he was a whole other story. Adrian and I have been together since freshman year. I wouldn't say we exactly loved each other, more like we had love for each other, but he was cute and popular, and a major reason why I had the reputation I did. Now it wasn't anything bad or to be ashamed of in fact, it was the exact opposite. I was popular, pretty, best friends with the co-captain of the cheer squad and dating the most popular boy in school. I kind of 'had it made' some would say. Well, at least it appeared so at school and in front of my friends and peers. At home it was an entirely different story.

I smile at her comment and throw my jeans and top in the locker closing it with the turn of the lock. 'Nah, she just tried to get me to find a tutor so I could get my grade up, but it's no problem. I'll have a passing GPA in no time without some nerdy tutor.' I play it off and seconds later the girls are talking about something else as I make my way out of the room to go and get Meredith.

'Hey, Rose!' I turn and face Lissa as she runs to catch up with me. 'Wait, I'll go with you.'

I frown. 'Who's going to start warm-ups?' Lissa shrugs and waves it off as we begin walking to the front of campus where the bus leaves Meredith. 'Eh, I'm sure Avery would have no problem with that. She's dying for your spot anyway, might as well give her a taste of what she'll never have.' Liss elbows me and I give a small smileat her joke. We keep walking and the silence is starting to feel weird. I'm pretty sure Liss has something to say and that was the reason why she came along, she never volunteers to go with me all the way across campus to get Mer. As we walk, I think about everything I have to do as soon as I get home. It spins and spins in my head until Lissa finally speaks again.

'Hey, you know about that tutor thing, you should ask Christian.' I turn to face her and snap out of my thoughts.

'Who?'

Liss rolls her eyes and folds her arms across her chest. 'Christian, the nerdy emo kid who's my lab partner in Alto's chemistry class... Remember when Alto was failing me?' I wear a look of confusion as I focus on who she is talking about. 'Tasha's weird nephew...'

_**'**__Ohh_, you mean the one with the huge crush on you?' Lissa looks away in annoyance and twirls her blonde shiny hair with a finger in attempt to ignore my teasing.

'Whatever! I'm trying to help you here, so don't change the subject. He tutors after school, you should go to him. You know, work your Rose charm and he'll pass you without you even having to show up to a single session. He did it for me so long as I returned the favor.' She made it sound so simple. Go to the library on Monday, ask Christian to pass me and promise some kind of favor in return and then the trouble with Karp was over. I could have at least some stress out of my life for a while.

'What kind of favor did he want?'

She shrugs and keeps twirling her long strand of blonde hair. 'Just to volunteer to be his lab partner in Alto's class. All he does is mumble stuff and talk about what chemicals can explode anyway, so it's not like I have to be his friend or anything.'

I nod as we keep walking to the front of the school where Meredith is left off. It sounded like a pretty simple plan. I convince some geeky kid to pass me and maybe all I had to do was wave at him as we passed each other in the hallway or something. It did look kind of bad on my part though, using someone like that. However, I had actual legitimate reasons for doing this, unlike Lissa who just didn't want to stay cooped up in the library with her weirdo stalker. I was also going behind a teachers back, but I got to do what I got to do, right?

'Yeah, I guess I can do that.'

She smiled as we made our way to the gates to wait for the bus.

**...****  
**

'I'm glad you don't have cheer tomorrow, Roses.'

'Yeah, why is that?'

Meredith shrugs and speaks with obvious annoyance as she walks a few steps in front of me on our way home. 'I really hate sitting around while you and Lissa and Mia all keep yelling the same three cheers over and over again!' I laugh at her exaggeration and watch as she mockingly claps her hands and squeaks out a go guardians. 'I hate those cheers. You should get newer ones, better ones and then I can go on the top of the triangle and everyone will cheer for me-'

'Okay, Mer bear, I think you're getting a little too carried away with this daydream of yours and it's called a pyramid.' She pouts and stomps off a few more steps ahead of me.

I laugh and shake my head with amusement at my little sister. We walk home as soon as everybody else has left practice and Mer helps me pack up my stuff in a hurry to get home in case Janine gets off work early and decides to actually go home. It's always disappointing when we do finally get in the house and the hopeful, joyous look on my sister's face fades into one of disappointment. That was Janine though, you just never knew with her. Well, I did, but Meredith was young and hopeful. She didn't understand Janine like I did.

'No pouting, Mer bear, and I've told you we're practicing for the big game. We have to have those cheers and moves down perfectly or everyone's going to think we stink.'

She shrugs and giggles her little contagious laugh as I look to her in curiosity. 'You stink anyway, Roses.' She laughs and takes off in a sprint as I chase after her into our front yard.

The same asyesterday and all the days before, Meredith yells out 'mom' as soon as we enter the house… and there's no reply. I sigh in annoyance at Mer as she searches every room in our small yellow house looking for my mother. I place our school bags on the floor near the front door and lock it. I'll have to start on dinner, and then make sure Mer is bathed and all ready for bed. Then clean the mess we left this morning's breakfast and from dinner, chores around the house, make sure Janine didn't break into the rent stash cause it's due on Monday. Then see if I actually can get some English homework done before passing out myself. I know it's a lot for a seventeen year old to handle, but with a five year old sister to raise and an alcoholic mother to deal with; someone has to do it.

The phone rings and Meredith gets to it before the second ring answering it and using her polite manners she was known for. 'Hello, Hathaway residence... Oh, it's _you_, hold on I'll get my sister.' This is how I knew who was calling. Meredith never really warmed up to Adrian and I had always wondered why she didn't like him. 'Roses, it's your stupid**,** ugly**,** weird haired boyfriend, Adri-_whatever_.'

I roll my eyes and laugh quietly as she hands me the phone and runs back to the living room to watch television. 'Hey?'

'Your sister isn't very nice and how many times have I told her my name, and she still calls me Adri-whatever or Ivashit or ugly dude?' I laugh and roll my eyes as I begin searching the fridge for something to make Meredith.

'It doesn't matter how many times you tell her, she's still going to do it.'

'Yeah, she's not very fond of me.'

'No she isn't.'

'So, you should tell her something, I'm a little tired of being ridiculed by a five year old, you know?'

'Eh, I'll think about it. I kind of like her giving you a hard time. It's funny.'

'Whatever, Rose. Look me and a few of the guys are going down to the pier tonight. I got the boat, you should meet me there and we could have some time together.'

I knew what that stood for; having some time together with Adrian meant him trying to convince me to have sex or give him head in his dad's boat while everyone else was hanging out right outside. I don't think he's understoodfully my repeated reply of 'that will never happen' yet, but I have no problem repeating the answer and enjoying the look of desperate defeat on his face. 'I can't, Janine is MIA again and I have things to do around the house, plus what am I supposed to do with Meredith?'

I hear him sigh tiredly, annoyed with my answer. 'So ditch the chores, leave the drunk a note and dump the kid somewhere. It's Friday, Rose; you're on Adrian time now. Come on, I haven't seen you all week.'

I snort in amusement and start shaping the ground turkey to make Mer's favorite; turkey burgers with macaroni and cheese.

'Geez, Adrian you got everything figured for me don't you. I can't just dump Meredith somewhere, she's not something I can leave and go back to later. And please don't call my mother a drunk, I've told you about that already.'

'Well she is, I'm just saying.'

'Yeah, you're one to talk. I bet you have a boatload full of beer just waiting for you on daddy's boat that you've wrecked, how many times while drinking?' He sighs again, but this time I know I'vemade him mad and at any moment he was going to fall into the bratty, spoiled, rich snob attitude he was known for when he didn't get his way.

'Whatever then, I'll just chill with the guys and talk to you later. At least they have time for me since my own girlfriend doesn't and wouldrather spend time with her bratty sister looking for her plastered mommy out on the street somewhere… most likely getting fuck-'

'Hey, watch your mouth about my mom and Meredith. You don't know what the hell you're talking about, Adrian!'

He grunts this time into the phone and our heated moment ends with him repeating a "whatever" and hanging up on me. I turn off the phone and slam it on the charger mumbling a 'jerk'and several other choice words under my breath asI pound the turkey in frustration into a patty to place on the pan.

I sigh in attempt to relax and calm myself before Mer notices something is up and continue cooking the burgers for us. As we eat in silence in the kitchen, I watch Mer devour her food and smile. I was glad she had me to depend on, glad that even though we were really only half-sisters, we were as close as family could get and I would do anything to protect and be there for her. No matter what. I would never just leave and drop her for some guy's attention. Unlike my mother, who didn't seem to care where her girls were or what they were doing as long as whatever boyfriend she was with ensured thatthey were having a good time.

**D.**

'Mama! I'm going to be home late today, I have a tutor session after school.'

'Okay, сын, please make sure your sister has her key to get in the house then. I'll see you later, дети!'

My mother closes the front door as I place the jug of orange juice back inside the refrigerator and hear Viktoria's heels click down the stairs. I shake my head at my naive little sister and roll my eyes as she adjusts her push up bra before entering the kitchen. 'Are you ready for the corner? Will your client be meeting you there to negotiate with your pimp, Vika?' She scowls at Babushka as I laugh at my grandmother's teasing.

'Please! Don't be jealous of me because people actually like me at school, Dimka. Hater!'

I shake my head as my grandmother yells at Viktoria in Russian to not leave the house dressed like that again or else. Viktoria rolls her eyes and mutters 'whatever' in Russian as my grandmother shakes her head in disappointment. I grab Vika's keys from the counter and throw them at her as I pass her to the front door. 'Mama said straight home from school and no friends over. I'll be late I have a session today.'

Viktoria just smacks her lips at me and rolls her heavily madeup eyes as the horn of Camille Conta's mustang convertible goes off and she races out the door pushing me out of the way. I shake my head again and look to the kitchen where my grandmother smiles slightly and waves me off to go ahead and leave. 'Плохо Увидимся позже бабушка.' She nods and I grab my pack from the floor and make my way out the door.

Walking out of our yard I close the gate and drop my skateboard to the cement. The trees and houses blur as I glide my way through the neighborhood and turn up my headphones. I always skated to school and back, well, I skated everywhere I went. Mama couldn't drop us off at school because of hershifts at the hospital; I did have a license, but not enough money for my own wheels and to hell with having to take Vika with me to school. So it was a good thing she hung out with her rich snobby friends who picked her up. It was funny how different Viktoria and I were, even if I was the oldest, it still felt like she grew up way ahead of her time. She was the plastic type; high heel shoes and miniskirts, mocha lattes and bright pink nail polish, and never being satisfied with anything mama did for her.

She was like those senior girls who Christian drooled over and Jill despised. Those girls that were on the cheerleading squad and drove flashy pink cars with the latest high tech gadgets. The rich popular girls at school who if you didn't know them or play by their rules; you didn't matter.

That's where Vika and I differed, we were brother and sister, and there was a time when she'd worshiped me. Then high school cliché's got the best of her and it seemed I lost my little sister. The one who enjoyed holding her purple jump rope as I pulled her on my board around the yard. The one who use to play catch with me and Christian at the ballpark. We were different people for sure. Now all she seems to do is make fun of my habit of reading, complain that mama favorsme over her and brag about being friends with the senior girls who were letting her try out to make the varsity squad soon. It reminded me how young Vika really is; fifteen and just a freshman thrown into a 'fit in or be an outcast' world.

I miss the old Vika, but she grew up and we grew apart. She goes shopping and drools over boys my age. I read and live at the book store. Viktoria complains about the fact that we're poor and I, well, I do what I can to help my mother with the house and Babushka. So this is why I signed up to be a tutor, they pay you per hour and it looks good on college applications. Christian first told me about it, he was doing it for the credit whereas I needed the extra money. I knew how bad mama felt when Viktoria asked for something a little out of our budget and sheworked extra hard to get it for her. I felt I could make life a little easier for mama and depend on myself to get what I need. So the book store and tutoring were helpful.

'Hey, Belikov!' I snap my attention to the voice of Christian as he gets out of his aunt's car and they head their separate ways in the school parking lot. He wasn't embarrassed his aunt worked at the school, but when someone made fun of it, it was a different story.

'What's up, Christian?' I pick up my board and we begin walking to class in our normal routine of silence observing the students and their everyday activity.

We have been friends practically since birth. My eldest sister Karolina was friends with Tasha**,** or Ms. Ozera as the freshmen are told to call her in P.E. She was one of the cool teachers and often let me and Christian hang around the gym during open period. She was also the cheerleading squad's coach, which was super awesome for Christian because he had a major thing for Vasilisa Dragomir, the most popular girl in school and Vika's idol. To say he aimed a little high was an understatement, he had no chance and she was dating Aaron Cross. He was also popular and captain of the baseball team, and not to mention a complete douche bag, just like the rest of those followers.

**...**

'So you got your first session today, huh?' I nod and take huge bite out of the sandwich I bought for lunch. I couldn't get the pizza I looked forward to cause Vika came up to me before third period begging for some extra money in case the girls went off campus for lunch. She wasn't allowed to because she was a freshman, but that didn't stop her anyway. I really disliked that she hung around with senior girls; they were older than her and in my opinion bad influences on my sister's naive mind. 'You excited, you're probably going to get some popular jock who can't read and then for once we outcasts will prevail against their stupidity.'

I shake my head at Christian's odd statement and Jill rolls her eyes in annoyance. 'You know, Ozera we're all about damning the man and saving the empire, but you sound really ignorant when you say shit like that.' I swallow my mouthful of chips and sandwich and nod in Jill's favor.

'I concur.'

Christian rolls his eyes and goes back to stalking all the popular people at their table in search of the girl who pays him no attention except when she's needs a passing grade.

'Gosh, you're such a square.' I snap my eyes to Jill as she shakes her head at Christian. 'She's not going to notice you, not even if you waved a flag with her huge fat face on it proclaiming your so-called love for her, Chris. Give it up dude.'

Jill goes back to doodling on the red lunch tray with her sharpie marker and I give Christian a shrug indicating I didn't know what Jill's problem was with Christian's infatuation with Vasilisa. I had always had this itch that Jill maybe had a thing for Christian, but sometimes or during some situations she would do or say something that told me otherwise.

'Geez, who pee'd in your Wheaties, Mastrano?' Jill just glares and shakes her head going back to her drawing on school property. I laugh at their banter, it was always amusing and it made them often sound like an old married couple.

'So what are we doing after school, the parentals are out for the night so we can chill at my place.' Christian nods to Jill and goes back to eating his lunch, while sneakily looking over at the other table to see Vasilisa.

'Dimitri, you in?' I shake my head no and finish off my sandwich.

'I have a session after school. I don't know how long I'll be.' Jill nods as the bell for the end of lunch rings.

**R.**

'Okay, Mer please behave and don't give Lissa a hard time, okay?' She nods as I lift my back pack and hold each strap, waiting for the final look in her eyes where I know she understands. 'Okay, I shouldn't be too long and then after practice we can go home, okay?' She nods again and the sad**,** sullen feeling of leaving her somewhere she doesn't want to be overwhelms me. I swallow it down though and with one final hopeful glance at Lissa, I turn and walk away toward the library.

The looks back only make the guilt worse as I know Meredith is uncomfortable being here without me, but I know Lissa won't let me down. I think. The walk to the library seems long and silent as I plan how to woo Christian into passing me like he did Lissa. He had asked her to be his lab partner in return for good credits, so what could I possibly give him that he needed?

The brick building seems a lot bigger in the bright sunlight as I reach for the glass doors and grab the steel handle**, **pulling the door open. Once I'm inside the old librarian smiles at me and I return it, taking the yellow post-it from my pack. 'Um, I'm looking for a tutor, for English...' She nods and points to a set of tables in the middle of all the isles of books, but I see no Christian.

I walk ahead anyway and as I exit the isle of encyclopedias, the tables come into a clear view. About five or six tables, all dark brown and with blue rolling chairs slid under them, except one. The table directly in front of the window where you could see out into the baseball field. The team was practicing, but their view was sort of blocked by the dark haired guy sitting at the table with his face stuck inside a book. I cleared my throat quietly to get his attention and as soon as he looked up, I felt the thrilling emotion of surprise over me. He had shoulder length brown hair hanging loose and little strands of it in his face that gave him a sort of shadow. His eyes were dark brown, intense and wide as we stared at each other for a few odd long seconds in… I'm not sure what. He cleared his throat and put his book down on the table and gestured for me to sit down.

'You must be my student, for English?' I half nodded and half shook my head at his soft spoken words. They were like a velvety flow of a deep melodic voice that I hadn't heard before, but liked it right away, not to mention the accent.

'Yeah, um**,** you're the tutor? I thought Christian was?'

He nods and takes out a notepad and pencil then sets it next to him before speaking again. 'Yeah, he is, but he only tutors math and science. I do English.' He said with an obvious shrug and that's when I realized my plan was at major risk.

'Um, no, I thought Christian tutored like everything... All school subjects...' He shook his head no and kept his eyes on mine as I whispered a curse. The plan was changing and I don't think it would be in my favor.

'No. I tutor English and that's what you needed right?' I nod, baffled at what I was going to do now.

**I have no clue what im going to so with this story, just thought id post it and see if anyone wanted for it to continue. However, ill probably continue it anyway, so yeah... Please let me know.**

**I also have to thank Nicia for going over this before i put it up. Thank you mucho!**

**And if you find yourself reading this, thank you too!**


	2. Chapter 2

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 2:** A Subtle Dagger.

'You can sit down if you want to... So we can get started.'

I noticed I only pulled out the rolling chair, but never sat down. I nod again still stuck in my stupor and slowly sit at the other end of the table. I place my pack on the floor beside me and look everywhere else except to him. He waits, watching me as if I'm some type of zoo animal and at any moment I may just attack, but he says nothing. A clearing of his throat captures my attention and I can't seem to fight the will to not stare at him or rather… his eyes.

They move side to side in a cautious manner and he slowly but surely reaches out across the table with his long arm. The sleeve of his black hoodie pulls back a little, exposing some hair on the tanned skin of his wrist. As if he were to fully stretch the sweater would seem too small for him. 'I'm Dimitri, Rose, right?' I nod and lick my suddenly dry lips as I reach out to shake his hand. It's a firm one shake grip, but the feeling of his strong warm hand soon releases its hold on mine and I settle into the chair.

'So, Ms. Karp informed me earlier today that you were behind a couple reports, to work on the essay due on Friday and that you have an author report due before the end of the semester.'

I look at him in slight confusion of his formal words. 'She _informed_ you?' He nods at me and then opens the black notepad, clicks the led pencil open and continues to speak. 'The report is a big part of your grade, it determines if you pass the semester and I know Ms. Ozera won't let you cheer if you don't have an accurate GPA. Do you have an idea on what author you wanted to do the report on?'

It was hard to take him seriously. I mean here's this –okay he's hot- smart geekish guy who is my age, in my grade and talks like he's an actual teacher. I wanted to laugh; I wanted to point out that just because he is a tutor doesn't mean he has to take it so seriously. The window in back of him captures my attention though and I see the baseball team warming up, tossing baseball's back and forth. I remember the squad and Mer waiting for me out in the field. I clear my throat and put my eyes back to him, focusing on channeling all my Rose Hathaway charm to try and get out of this situation.

'Um, you know, I actually have practice right now and people are waiting on me. So it's not really necessary to do all this, I can make up the work on my own. I mean, I'm sure you have better things to do anyway.' I rise after politely speaking and have a strap of my back pack over my shoulder pushing in my chair. 'Thanks for your time though.' I throw him a flirty smile and then just as I'm about to turn and walk away, he speaks.

'You know, if things were that simple then why did Ms. Karp have you come in here at all?'

I stop and turn, staring in a little bit of surprise and question. He wore an expression I didn't quite understand, like he was offended over my words, but I didn't care. I shrug and place the other strap of my pack on and speak before turning around to leave. 'I don't know, but I have things to do. See ya.' I hear him sigh deeply as I start walking away. 'Typical.' He mutters lowly, but I know he meant for me to hear it. So I stop and turn back around to glare at him as he begins packing up his things. 'Excuse me, did you say something?'

He sighed again through his nose, his nostrils flare as the air exits them and I find it kind of... cute? 'I said typical. You know, that someone who obviously needs help, someone like _you_, is too afraid or proud to ask for it.'

I glare and take a step closer to the table, the both of us standing at each end of it. 'Well, for your information I never asked for help in the first place. Karp told me to come here to catch up, but like I said; I can do that on my own.' He rolled his big brown eyes as he zipped up his black back pack. 'Yeah, that's why you're passing in the first place, right?' He walks along the side of the table heading into an isle of books to leave the library, but I become agitated with his remark and follow.

'If I'm such a bother to you then why did you agree to tutor me in the first place?'

'It's my job. I tutor anyone who needs it and I was told you did, but obviously it was a waste of time.' He stops before the isle of books ends and turns to face me. His expression one of annoyance and he certainly was not amused with me. So much for the charm.

'So we both agree then?' He gives me a sneering gaze. 'Agree on what?' I lean on one foot and fold my arms over my chest. 'That this is a waste of time and I don't need your help.'

He smirks smugly and copies my actions of leaning on one foot of his freakishly long legs and folding his arms across his chest. 'You agreed. I was just trying to do my job, but since you can do it on your own...' Now it's my time to sigh and roll my eyes before I side step him and walk into the isle heading for the door. 'Ms. Karp is just going to send you right back.' I ignore him and keep walking, getting into the middle of the isle as he speaks once again.

'You could catch up faster and keep cheering if you have help.' I shake my head in tired frustration and continue to walk.

'If you don't stay then I don't get paid!'

That stops me for some reason and I stand in the middle of an open pathway just before another isle of books starts to grip the straps of my back pack tightly. As I stand there, I can feel him staring at my back, the heavy gaze of this strange dude making a memory pop back into my head. Lissa's words come to mind. _'He did it for me so long as I returned the favor.' _I smirk, maybe Liss was right after all and I could negotiate something. After all, he just gave me an in and that was just the thing I needed.

**D.**

I laugh deeply and shake my head in amusement. I stop once I see her eyes glare at me and swallow deeply. 'Oh, you were serious?' She scoffs and folds her arms over chest once again. 'Yes, I am. Think about it, we would both be winning here.' I swallow again and run a hand through my hair, sighing.

She was just like the girls she hung out with, trying to get what she wanted any way she could. Using her wide brown eyes and flirty smile to try and get out of this. What she didn't know was that I could be stubborn and convincing too. I was the type of person who kept my word. That meant when Ms. Karp asked for my services and I told her yes; I was going to do it. However, her deal did sound good, but any teacher would have mama on my ass if they found out I did something like that. I mean not that I was really going to do something like that, hell no, not for her or anyone. I wasn't going to be like Christian and sell out to a girl like Rose the same way he did with Vasilisa. Fuck that; I have too much to lose.

I take a minute and let her think I'm thinking it over. I compare the sides to what she asked. I get paid and she gets out of tutoring, all I had to do was fill out the form that said she came to every session and what we worked on, then turn it in to Ms. Karp and collect. It sounded so simple and so easy, which I'm sure are things she's used to. However, it was a risky move on my part and one that could get us both into a lot of trouble, especially me. After another long minute of thinking it over she speaks again.

'Come on, I get out of something I don't even have time for and you get free money. It's set.'

I breathe out a heavy sigh, look her straight in the eyes and shake my head no. She gives me a surprised but subtle look and I just shrug. 'No? Really?' I nod once more and look to the floor where we were standing awaiting what I'm sure was another attempt to convince me. 'Are you sure? Free money? You don't have to be cooped up in some library every day... after school... all week long...'

I return her a look of obvious assurance and she sighs frustrated. 'It's too risky, for the both of us and I'm not about to lose my job over you.' She glares at me before shaking her head and releasing her crossed arms. 'Whatever. I guess you'll be wasting your afternoons in here all by yourself then.' She walks away in frustration and what I say next only adds to it.

'Rose.'

She turns slightly and keeps her brown eyes hard to the shelf of books to avoid me as I speak. A heavy sigh leaves me as I know this is only going to make me seem even more lame to her, but I didn't care. I needed this job and I'm not the type to make anything easy, especially for someone like her. 'If you don't show up, I'll report you to Ms. Karp.'

Her eyes snap to me and she glares angrily and somewhat annoyed. Our eyes stay on each other and I know I'm just gripping the knife and twisting it into the wound. 'And Ms. Ozera, she'll punish you from the squad.' An eerie angry gaze stares right back at me and we both stand there taking in the silent meaning of my words. A long frustrated breath leaves her as she turns and heads out of the library.

'See you tomorrow.' I whisper to no one and follow out after her.

...

'You denied the Rose Hathaway of getting out of tutoring? Holy shit, you're a fucking god.' I shake my head at Christian not amused as does Jill. We were hanging at our usual spot. In the back of the bookstore, where there was an empty parking lot Christian and I could skate while I was on my break.

'Yeah, unlike some guys I know. You practically have to wear a bib every time we have lab in chemistry. Good for you, Dimitri.' Christian rolls his eyes at Jill as she shrugs and goes back to the latest best seller. I laugh and try not to fall off my board as I try to pull off a manual.

'Hey, that's different, okay!' Jill rolls her eyes and squeaks out a 'how' questioning Christian's logic. 'It just is! It's not like what me and Lissa have.' As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Jill's and my eyes snap to Christian in disbelief of his comment and maybe his sanity. I break the silence with a loud laugh as Jill sighs annoyed and drops the book to her lap. 'You and Lissa don't have anything except the deal you stupidly made because of your so-called "connection".'

I laugh again as Jill goes off on Christian and he tries to defend himself. 'Whatever, that's not the point! See it like this: Belikov could give a shit about Rose, so their deal wouldn't have meant anything anyway. What would he be getting out of it except money he would've gotten in the first place?' I laugh at Christian as he thinks he's out witted Jill.

'The same thing you get out of your little deal with Dragomir; _nothing_. Which was the point I was trying to make and you can't seem to get your mind to conceive.' I laugh and shake my head at them, always bickering those two. 'I don't know what you're laughing at; it was kind of stupid to turn down.' I give Jill a look of confusion and move toward her on my skateboard.

'How? I thought it was the smart thing to do. I don't risk losing money I need because some prissy girl doesn't want to sit in the library and work hard like the rest of us.' I shrug losing control of the skateboard and my footing, then let the board roll off into the darkened parking lot.

'Yeah, but now you're on her bad side.' I shrug uncaringly and walk to get my board while Jill continues to explain. 'You forget, Dimitri she's property of _Adrian Ivashkov_. The guy who just so happens to hate your guts. What if she tells her little social monkey boyfriend you didn't want to play her way and he makes trouble for you?' Well, I didn't think of that, but I really don't care what any of those materialistic asses do. I shrug once again and look to Jill's curious eyes. 'I don't care. I could handle Ivashkov any day. My main concern is if this girl is going to make hell for me during the sessions.'

'It's Rose Hathaway; everything is hell when someone like her doesn't want to be somewhere. Especially if she's stuck there with someone like you.' I glare at Christian's laugh and Jill's remark and then shake them off as I keep skating around the dark empty lot.

**R.**

'Mommy, your here!'

I slam the door shut and throw down our bags to the floor. Janine smiles widely as Meredith runs into her arms and is lifted into her chest. I roll my eyes and avoid any eye contact with my mother, heading directly into the kitchen. 'Oh my baby, how are you and how was school?'

Meredith shoots off about what she learned and what she made in class today as I begin washing the dishes in the sink. 'And then, Lissa taught me a new cheer while Roses was with her tutor.' I close my eyes and curse in a whisper. I didn't want Janine to know anything about me falling behind in school, but now that Mer mentioned it. I could feel her blue eyes closely wondering over to my back, but I didn't face her and just kept cleaning as if she wasn't there at all.

'Rosemarie, you're doing bad in school?'

I shrug and ignore her as I put things away in the cupboards. 'She has to stay after school in the library and-' 'Mer, go get ready for dinner and wash up, okay.' Mer glares at me when I interupt her and then walks sulking to the bathroom. 'It's no big deal. I just have to catch up in a class. It's fine.' Janine walks a little more near me into the kitchen, almost afraid to come too close.

'I was working double shifts.' She starts speaking while nervously playing with her fingers. As if she were the child and I the adult, it was all the same excuses to me. I could hardly care. 'I had to stay over at Hans place for a couple nights to get some sleep.' _Yeah, because you couldn't come home to do that and take care of house responsibilities for once._ I wanted so badly to say that to her and many other things, but I kept my mouth shut because Mer walked back into the kitchen.

'I washed my hands, Roses.' I nod as she shows me her marker free and paint less hands. Janine smiles toward Meredith and plays lightly with her red frizzy hair. 'Sit down with me so we can have some pizza, Momma.' I take out the frozen pizza opening the cardboard box and ready the oven, knowing Janine's answer before she even says it.

'No, sweetheart, maybe next time, okay. I've got to go and get ready for Hans, were meeting some friends for drinks tonight.' I roll my eyes as Janine throws Mer a forced smile and then avoids me as she makes her way to her bedroom. The disappointment on Mer's face brings an ache to my chest as I watch her play sadly with her crayons she left on the table last night.

...

It was late when I heard the front door shut a little too hard. My head snaps up at the sound and I glance at my phone to see the time; two fifteen in the morning. I can hear their heavy footsteps around the kitchen and living room. The low almost whispered giggles of my mother as I'm sure Hans has said something stupid in his drunken stupor. I sigh and rub my eyes tiredly as I was up late trying to finish one of the book reports I had to turn in. I wasn't even half way through To Kill a Mockingbird yet, but I knew I needed to at least start it.

I turn off my lamp and slightly open my room door, listening as more footsteps sound in the two front rooms. It sounded as if there were more than two people and as I open my door a little wider, I can make out in the slight light of the kitchen, people walking by headed into the kitchen. My room was at the end of the hallway, so I could see right outside if I took two steps out of my doorway. I sigh again as the jingle of bottles and glass cups sound away as if being held by shaky, unstable hands. I hope and pray they don't stay here and Mer doesn't wake up and wonder off into the kitchen. I knew full well that my mother would begin the act of showing off her girls to her friends. She would begin bragging about how smart Meredith was and how beautiful her Rosemarie is. She would begin her drunken best mother in the world show and I would have to stand there, protecting Meredith and ignoring all the ridiculous attention she would put on us.

I hated when she did that, I hated when I had to pretend like my mother gave a shit about Mer's school progress or like I totally agree with her when she mentions she wants to put me in a modeling agency and show the world how beautiful her oldest baby was. It's happen before, many times and I've had to just stand there and deal with it. I would have had to stand there and smile, let all these random drunk people stare at me and complement Janine on how proud she should be over he pretty faced daughters. As if she created us out of some kind of special clay or something. I hated when Hans brought his friends over too. They were a bunch of middle-aged married men looking at me like a piece of meat and smiling at me like they weren't imagining me naked and beneath them. I hated these nights, nights where I had to be some sideshow in Janine's act of mother of the year. The nights she drank way too much and went to bed, leaving Hans and his friends out in the kitchen. It made me extremely uncomfortable and I could never sleep those nights.

I stand in the pitch black hallway in front of my door. I don't notice Mer until she's bumped into me from walking around in the dark hallway. 'Roses...' She whispers as I bend down and scoop her up into my arms and take her back inside my room. 'You're okay, Mer. Just go back to sleep, okay?' She nods and turns toward the wall on my bed falling back into her sleep.

The noise of strange voices and glass bottles rises and lowers throughout the night. It's almost four in the morning and I haven't been able to close my eyes for even two minutes. I hear people coming and going to the bathroom. I hear high pitched laughs and things being bumped into every now and then. I hear the angry whispers of Hans and my mother next to her bedroom door, which is across from mine and wonder if when their friends leave; if they will too. As my eyes begin to finally close and the calming of Mer's breathing eases me to sleep, I hear a boom. The boom of someone falling over in the kitchen, the sound of the wood chair breaking and then many different loud laughs.

'I got it guys, I think it's time we put this mess to bed, huh.'

Some more laughs sound at Hans's words and I hear him enter my mother's room with her mumbling something incoherent. Then for a short quiet second, I hear nothing. It feels as if someone is standing at my door, the knob turns slowly, but the door doesn't open. And then the light patter of retreating feet moves away from the entrance of my room. I didn't know what he would've wanted from me at this time of night or morning, but Hans had always understood I didn't like him. In fact I hated him and I made it well known, but Meredith was another story. Hans had always had this look in his eye when around Mer and it made me very uncomfortable around him. I look one last time toward Mer sleeping near the wall and then close my eyes in thanks that she had come to my room tonight and that my door locked from the inside.

**This chapter is not beta'd, but it will be. Updates will be as often as i can, promise.**

**Thanks to leonseyluv9798 for the pre-read!**

**Thank you all so much for the alerts, favs, reviews and feedback. I was not expecting that at all and id like to thank you for it. As ive said, im not totally sure about this story, but i can only try my best. Thanks for reading!**

**(:**


	3. Chapter 3

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 3:** The beginning of the end.

There are few words that I can use to describe the feeling I get when watching my mother sleep. If that's at all what she's doing. The many mornings after her party nights are what annoyed and freaked me out the most. The deep sinking hole in the middle of my chest full of unknowing mystery, worry and anticipation would be best to describe that feeling. Why would that bother me? Well, because it was like driving across the country in a car whose gas gauge didn't work. Jumping out of an airplane and while falling through the sky, you still slightly wonder if that parachute will in fact open. The point is; you just never knew.

If I'm honest, that feeling most days scared the shit out of me. I mean, here I was standing in the doorway of my mother's bedroom watching her sleep. However, I wasn't watching her in some loving and admiring kind of way. No. I was watching to make sure she was still breathing, still alive. Yeah. Sometimes people will talk about the unknown as a reference to outer space or in some kind of horror movie. For me, the unknown was interesting and scary because it involved my mother. My mother and the chance that this might be the day where she drank too much and never woke up again. The unknown scared the shit out of me and it was another reason why I hated her unhealthy habit.

I won't say I hate my mom, I mean she's my mom. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her, but I hated the choices she made with her life. The burden she laid upon me and the abandonment she constantly puts Meredith through, among other things.

'Roses?' I finally snap out of my gaze and turn closing the door and facing Meredith. 'Yeah?'

She looks down to her pink colored shoes sadly as I take a few small steps to kneel in front of her. 'You think mommy will be home when we get back from school?' After a small sigh, I shrug I don't know and fix some of the frizzy red hair on her head. We leave it at that.

**...**

'So let me get this straight; he told you no and so now you have tutoring after school instead of practice?'

I nod a disappointing yes to Lissa as her face contorts in disbelief. 'I don't understand... That was a pretty sweet deal, I mean, who turns down free money?' I shrug at her question before speaking. 'Oh you know, people with morals and responsibility, and all that other boring stuff.' She sighs at my words as we continue walking through the empty halls of the school.

We were supposed to be in third period like everyone else, but that usually meant a snooze fest in Mr. Tanner's class for me and awkward random mumbling from Lissa's lab partner in chemistry. So the usual I'm bored text in class turned into let's say we need to use the restroom so we could meet up and hangout until the bell rings. And so here we are. 'You know you shouldn't be cutting class, especially with Ms. Karp on your ass.'

I roll my eyes and swing the wood block attached to a string Mr. Tanner makes us take to the restroom with my finger. 'Hey, that rhymed, I liked it.' I smile smugly as Lissa rolls her eyes and we continue taking our time walking down the hall. 'And besides government is actually one of the many classes I'm not falling behind in, thank you very much.' Lissa nods and smiles as we make our way to the girl's restroom furthest from our classrooms.

'Hey, so this weekend Aaron's got his parents beach house to himself. We were thinking about throwing a little get together, think you could make it?'

I take a deep breath before answering and wonder at her question. It was hard to get time for things like this. I mean I did go out at times and left Meredith with our neighbor Alberta, but I hated the guilty feeling I had while I was enjoying my adolescence and Mer was shipped off on someone else. On the rare weekends where I did go hangout with my friends and Adrian, I had him there to back me up. No one really knew why I hadn't been able to attend most parties or hang outs. All most of my friends knew, including Lissa, was that my mother worked a lot and I didn't want to leave Meredith alone. The alcoholism and ignoring of her children wasn't public information for Janine. I mean why would I want it to be? It would make my reputation suffer greatly and I didn't need that. Especially if anyone from school found out.

'Come on, I'm sure Adrian wouldn't mind spending some time with you anyway.' Liss moves her eyebrows suggestively at me while a small smile appears on my face.

She didn't mean any harm by the invitation, just inviting me and my boyfriend over to chill with friends. If only she knew what this harmless invite carried for me. Especially with Adrian, yes, he knew my deep dark secret that no one else did. But like I said, we had a love for each other; an understanding. At times he would piss me off and make life a little harder for me, but I had dealt with it because I had to. In order to keep the social status and friends, and somewhat easy part of my life going I had to. So with much Rose bravado, I shrug and turn the worry of the situation into not caring for it.

'Sounds kind of boring, but I'll think about it. I'm sure Adrian would want to go.' Lissa shrugs at my reply and I try to throw the rapid thoughts of how I'm going to pull this one off to the back of my mind.

**...**

'WHAT?' The angry glare hardening towards my very face explodes as Avery hears Tasha's news. She's riveted and pretty much giving me the stink eye.

'It's just for the try-outs, ladies, relax Ms. Lazar. It isn't the end of the world, we have a spot to fill since Natalie left and we need to fill it before the game.' Tasha hands clipboards to Lissa and Mia as she was now covering my part in the try-outs for the squad. It turns out that hot annoying tutor of mine had been somewhat right about Tasha punishing me from the squad. Well, I wouldn't say punishing, I was just opted out of co-captain duty during the auditions, but I could still practice when I could and cheer in the games. It mostly sucked because that meant I actually had to go to tutoring, which I didn't really want to, but it also is kind of relieving. No more putting up with Avery for a little while and actually getting work done.

Anyway, Avery was a little upset that Tasha had named Mia as my replacement until I could show proof I was getting my grade up and be back on captain duty. In actuality it was Lissa and I that convinced Tasha to give the job to Mia. We both knew what Avery was capable of with the little power you were given by becoming captain and neither of us wanted anyone to suffer her takeover of the squad. So we told Tasha and she broke the news to everyone else. I still managed to get an evil glare from Avery anyway. I wasn't surprised; she's kind of had it in for me since I caught her and Natalie's boyfriend dry-humping at party a few months ago. Somehow Natalie found out about it and Avery thinks I spilled the beans. Hence Natalie's departure from the squad, dumping of her longtime boyfriend and switching to a different school after her and Avery had a war of words one afternoon.

'This is bullshit, Rose; I offered to take your place until you were done. Now Tasha just sprang it on Mia, what the fuck?' I shrug as we make our way back to lunch from the cheer meeting. 'You heard Tasha, Avery; it's just for the try-outs and besides Rose will be back. It's not like Mia's position will be permanent.'

Lissa tries to calm Avery down, but all it does is annoy her more as she walks past us bumping shoulders a little too hard with me. I shake my head as Mia and Lissa watch her walk away in a furious hurry. The thing we all understood about Avery was she was a backstabbing bitch. They say keep your friends close, but your enemies closer and they couldn't have put it any better when it came to her. Avery was as eager and conniving as they come. All that mattered to her was the social status. The power and reputation that comes along with being popular and she wouldn't hesitate hurting anybody in her way of getting there. An example: Natalie Dashkov.

I seen it first hand, the complete destruction of a harmless innocent girl who had the world at her feet. The very world Avery wanted for herself. See I got lucky with my popularity, but she had to -and still does- work for it. She was bad news, she was a snake lurking around and pretending to be your friend until you had something she wanted. In Natalie's case it was her boyfriend and senior class presidency. Anything to add to Avery's reputation that would ultimately boost her status. It was a very dog eat dog world being friends with the popular crowd, but letting it go was something I didn't exactly want to do. For reasons known and unknown even to me. So I hide behind it and everything it has to offer.

The rich friends, connections and even Adrian. He was a big part of the reason why I had this luxury and I didn't want to lose it. You could call me selfish, a user and materialistic, but it was better than what I truly was. It was better than the nobody who was raising her little sister because her mother was out of her mind. It was better than the truth because the truth was just as bland and boring as my life actually was. It was better than dealing, the lies and secrecy were worth it if it meant no one would know who I really was; a scared little girl avoiding reality. Anything to avoid that reality.

**...**

'Hey, hot stuff!' I turn around in recognition of the voice and sigh tiredly at the sight of him. Adrian smirks and his green eyes glisten in the sunlight as he takes his precious time walking to meet me in the middle of the quad. 'So, where you headed?'

I smirk and roll my eyes as he puts out his cigarette with his expensive leather shoe. 'The library. I have tutoring remember?'

I roll my eyes at the annoying mention of it and watch Adrian's smirk grow into a teasing smile as he moves a piece of my hair from my face. He laughs as I shake my head in annoyance. Then he gently takes my hand and pulls me a little closer to him. 'I know how much you look forward to the library and learning.'

'Yeah, so much so I voluntarily took up getting a tutor for fun.'

He smiles that ever charming smile and I slightly remember the effects of it when we first started dating. He sighs deeply while playing with my hand and avoiding my eyes. I know what's coming next. 'I just wanted to say sorry about the other night. I realized I was being a complete ass... again.' I laugh smugly and shake my head at his antics.

This was always routine with Adrian. He would say something to piss me off and then apologize blaming it on having a little too much to drink or being around the guys. Of course, I always forgave him. I had to; I have a reputation to protect, right? I let a breath of slight frustration out and can already tell what he's going to say before he opens his mouth to say it. 'But you were drinking and hanging out with the guys, and they were giving you a hard time about us again. Am I right?' He sinks his head down in shame and I let go of his hand to fold my arms into my chest.

'It's always the same excuses with you, Adrian. You know that?'

He smirks and shrugs reaching for another cigarette in his pocket to put it in his mouth, but not lighting it yet. 'What can I say, I'm human we make excuses.' He searches for a lighter while talking some more. The white part of the cigarette hanging off his dry lips and moving up and down as he speaks. 'Where's the tiny demon child, you finally get rid of her?'

I shake my head and glare at him. 'No, she's with Lissa. I didn't want to bring her to the boring ass library.' He nods while searching his expensive ironed jeans for his lighter. 'Right, library nerds, books and such; boring. I get it.'

He finally finds his lighter and just as he's about to light up he stops and speaks again. 'So, what happens if you don't show up to this tutoring thingy?' I shrug and look around the quad as the few students who stay after school walk around. The halls and quad almost empty of the students it was full of a while ago. 'I'm not sure, I'm already off try-out duty for the squad and Karp's been hounding me since I didn't stay the whole time yesterday.' He finally finds his lighter and lights up the cancer stick, blowing out a huge cloud of smoke.

I lean back a little and try to avoid the thick white cloud of disgustingness from making a permanent stench on my clothes. 'So who took up position of el capitano on your part?' I slightly wave off some more smoke before answering. 'Mia.'

Adrian coughs a little at the sound of her name and looks to me with wide eyes. 'Well, I'm sure Avery had fun with that one.' I shrug again and smirk at his sarcasm. 'Yea she had a royal bitch fit about it, but what could she do? Tasha made the call.' He gives me a smug look of yeah right, to my last statement and I smirk back to him. He knew full well the reason Mia got it; a little influence never hurt anyone. Especially when I had Lissa's chipper self to help me convince Tasha.

Adrian stretches his lean arms over his head and blows out another puff of smoke in front of me. 'Well sexy, I say we blow the geek squad in the library off, you and I go for a ride. I brought the 911 -the red one cause I know how good you look in red- and take advantage of the few hours we have alone. Come on; no kid just you and me...' Once again, there was the jerk side of Adrian I disliked. The way he seemed to think that since he had it easy, so did everyone else and that wasn't the case. Not for me.

I sigh once again and this time it wasn't because I felt bad for telling him no once more. It was more of a tired sigh, tired that he didn't listen and never seem to. That he thought I would just abandon Meredith like that, no matter how many times I told him I wouldn't.

'I just told you I can't go, Adrian. I have something to do and I'm not ditching Meredith, sorry.' He rolls his eyes and lets out a big puff of smoke again. 'Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same old, same old. I'm getting kind of tired these repeated excuses, Rosemarie.'

I sigh annoyed at his reply and his use of my full name. 'Adrian, you know I can't go wonder off with you all the time. I have things to do right now. You said you understood, I thought we talked about this?' He shrugs uncaringly and turns his head as if he really didn't care for what I had to say. 'We did, but I'm a man, Rose. I have needs.' I roll my eyes at the common pathetic excuse and remember I had to be in tutoring at this very moment.

'You know, just never mind I even asked you anything. Go back to your boring mediocre life and library bullshit, okay. I'll call you later or something, when I don't have things to do.'

His sarcastic mean and annoying wining aggravates me. As much as I wanted to snap right back, I held off. See this is where things get tricky with me and Adrian. Outside, he looked like the lottery of boyfriends. He was rich, handsome and had it all, but on the inside. The inside, he was a spoiled inconsiderate jerk and not a very good boyfriend at all. I stayed with him though, I knew I had to fix his disappointment and make him happy. Not because I wanted to or because I'm that pathetic and think this is how he loves. No, I had to make it right in order to keep the social status. Which in a way makes me seem pathetic, but Adrian knew things. He knew things all of my other friends didn't and I couldn't give him the chance to use it against me.

If that happen, who knows what kind of damage it could bring me. What kind of things Adrian could get away with and how he can make it look. I had to make him happy in order to save myself. It was all a part of the game. A game I couldn't lose because then I'd lose myself. 'Adrian?'

I call as he was a few feet from me heading to the student parking lot. 'What?' He stops, but doesn't turn around to face me as I walk up to him. I grab his arm affectionately and stand in front of him with that ever famous flirty smile of mine. 'Where's your car?'

He looks a bit surprised at me first, but then throws down his cigarette before becoming intrigued. 'Why? I thought you had tutoring?' I shrug and playing with the buttons on his dark collared shirt. I had to do something in order to make him forget that I keep ditching him and his attempts of trying to have sex with me. 'I do, but that doesn't mean we can't make-out for a while.' His blank eyes glint in interest and he smirks, twirling me around by my hand and guiding me to his Porsche.

**...**

'You're late!' I nod annoyed and drop my back pack onto the table before pulling back the rolling chair and plopping myself onto it.

'Is this like a habit of yours? I've been waiting for almost thirty minutes?' I can tell by the deep accented words that he was getting frustrated. I shrug and unzipped my pack to get out my notebook and pencil. He sighed deeply, letting the air drag out for a short few seconds. 'You like to keep people waiting on you? Is that like some kind of power trip for you or something?'

I roll my eyes and shrug letting him know I didn't really care that he was frustrated by me being late. I could feel his angry stare on me and it was making me a little uncomfortable, but I kept my eyes to the notepad in front of me avoiding his heavy gaze. I didn't want him to think he got to me. I had just made out with Adrian who kept trying to take off my shirt and not to mention the horrid bad breath he had from smoking. I was about ready to snap at him, but kept quiet trying to get the day done with. If Dimitri thought he was allowed to be mad for me being late, then I should be allowed to be mad too. After all he wasn't the one making put with grabby spoiled dudes.

**Apologies for the long wait, busy week and I couldnt figure out how to get this chapter out the right way. Also if this chapter throws you off a little I apologize, like I said I couldnt seem to get it out the way I wanted to and a side note; things will explain themselves as we move along if your way confused. The next chapter will have mostly Rose and Dimitri in it. I think.**

**Thank you all so much for the alerts, favs, reviews and all that other shtuff. Yes, I said shtuff. I thank you for it all (:**

**Next update wont be so long. Hopefully (: Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 4:** Of all our iniquities ignorance may be the worst.

Usually when I'm angry, often times -as most people do- I like to take out my anger in a physical way. Although, now being one of those times, I think if I were to go ahead and act on that anger; it wouldn't benefit me in the end. I came to this conclusion after noticing how strong jawed, freakishly tall and not to mention the old librarian checking in on us every so often. So as much as I wanted to smack him, it just wasn't a possibility for me. That didn't mean the image of me reaching across the table, hand spread out flatly, arm swinging as fast as I could possibly swing it and then making the hardest of contact with his face not cross my mind. It did, twice.

I also kind of figured it would probably hurt my hand more than it would hurt his face, from the look he was giving me right now, I'm sure my small hand wouldn't have fazed him. And I would probably get in trouble and then kicked out of the library. This would lead to not having a passing grade, Karp hounding me even more for it and ultimately not graduating. It's a lose lose situation for me any way it's looked at. I think it's safe to say that today is just not my day. I mean first I wake up worried because my mother and her uncanny ability to have me shitting bricks waiting to see if she was sleeping or dead. I now have an angry Avery out there somewhere probably scheming some plan to either get Mia tossed off the squad or get even with me. And now, I have this guy going off about responsibility, taking advantage of people's kindness and whatever else he was complaining about.

'I had things to do, I'm sorry. You don't have to get so worked up about it, calm down. I'm here now let's get this over with.' My calm approach didn't help to weigh down his obvious annoyance with me. He just shakes his head disapprovingly and reaches across the table to slide my notepad in front of him a little too harshly.

'Don't tell me to calm to down. I was here on time; you don't get to tell me anything. Let's get started before we're out of time.' He wasn't as snappy like when I first walked in, but in his calm firm tone, I knew he was mad.

With the notepad over in front of him he writes neatly at the top of an empty page_: To Kill a Mockingbird Notes_. It was seriously the nicest handwriting I've ever seen a guy with and not to mention really nerdy. Who labels their notes page?

'Name the major characters and a basic idea of what the story is about.'

He looked at me expectantly waiting for me to answer his question. It was the first quiet moment between us since getting here and it was full of strange tension. I knew the characters, well, from what I've read so far. But a basic idea of the story would be a lot harder to explain since I haven't read the whole book. He sighs tiredly as I open my mouth to speak and drops his pencil with a loud plop against the paper, only to pick it right back up again.

'You did finish reading the book, correct?' I close my mouth and kept my eyes to the shelves of books surrounding us. As they were suddenly more interesting than his intense filled eyes were.

I wasn't about to tell him I hadn't finished the book yet. I was already obviously irritating him and I thought delivering that doozy would just frustrate him more. To be honest, I didn't want to piss him off any more than I already had. He did have the right to be angry with me. I mean, I did try to bribe him to pass me and then I show up late to the first session. As much as I would not like to care about any of those things, I did feel bad about them. He had a point about having all this help and abusing it, but he didn't know the truth as to why.

So with little hesitance, I slightly shook my head side to side answering his question. 'I haven't finished it yet.' I shrug and move my eyes back to his trying to show as much sorrow my eyes could conjure up.

He just looks at me. His eyes browned to perfection and his lips in a firm straight line. The dull spark of disappointment in his eyes suddenly eating at me. I have to say it made me think of how I would look at Mer when I scolded her for doing something she wasn't supposed to. If my look was anything like his, I have to promise myself I wouldn't give Meredith that look ever again. It made me sad, like I had been caught squishing a harmless spider who was just trying to find somewhere to spin it's web and catch flies. Or so Meredith would probably put it. The only thing I knew was that I didn't like disappointing him.

Why? The hell if I know, but the fact that I had suddenly realized this gave me an unsettled feeling.

I shouldn't let him make me feel like this. I was Rose Hathaway; girlfriend to Adrian Ivashkov and best friend to Lissa Dragomir. I was above all this bullshit, well, to him at least. And I wasn't going to let him make me feel bad for not having the time to finish reading some book I'm never going to talk about ever again. So stirring up that ever famous uncaring bravado of mine and a side of snarky sarcasm, I shrug uncaringly.

'I haven't had time to finish it. I'll get to it when I can.' He rolled his eyes and closed the notepad. He gripped his led pencil with both thumbs and index fingers, bending the plastic but not breaking it. 'Of course you will. Look I'm not Ms. Karp, okay? Your lame attempts at excuses aren't going to work with me. You're either here to work or not, stop wasting everyone's time with your laziness.'

_My_ laziness? 'Are you kidding me?' Oh, no he didn't.

'I mean that's the only thing that can explain this whole scenario in the first place. Who needs a goddamn English tutor anyhow? You speak it, so you should know how to write it.'

It baffled me how contradicting he was being at this moment and the opportunity that his words provided for my witty sarcasm was just not good for him. Not good at all.

'Your one to talk. I'm going to take English lessons from some geeky kid who's being used as some form of cheap foreign labor. What, did your exchange program lose your request form in the wasteland you're from, so you got stuck here?'

'I'm not an exchange student, I moved here a long time ago.' I roll my eyes at his lame comeback and reach to grab my notepad from him, so I could pack and leave. He pulls it away before I could even touch it and hides it behind him. 'The session isn't over yet, and I don't appreciate you talking about where I'm from and insulting me.'

I scoffed and pull back, folding my arms to my chest leaning away from the table and into the chair. It's not like I appreciated him calling me lazy. Our eyes both met with frustration and annoyance swirling in them. He was trying hard to keep his anger calmly hidden, but his eyes had given him away. He was as angry as I was and neither of us was helping each other to stop it. It was silent as we both sat there irritated with the other. I don't know how long we stayed quiet, but it took its toll and unfortunately I was the first one to break it with a frustrated breath.

'So are you going to help me or are we just going to sit here and stare at each other some more?'

He sighed heavily, shaking his head as he re-opened the notebook and look pointedly to me. 'Are you going to let me help you or are you going to keep acting like a princess and giving me a hard time?'

'You started it.' He snaps his head in my direction and raises an eyebrow at me.

'What are you twelve? Just finish reading the book so we can go over notes for the report, it's due on Friday. If you don't have time to finish it then at least go over the Cliff notes. If you're not too dense and can read them.'

That last part he had said in a low whisper, but I had heard it none the less and all it did was kick off a whole other battle of insults between us.

'You were the one bitching cause I was _thirty minutes late_. If I had known you were taking attendance I would've got a late pass from the crossing guard who I pass by on the way home.'

'Just because it's an after school activity doesn't mean you can frolic about and take your time getting here. I have things to do too, you know?'

_'Frolic about?_ What did we travel to an enchanted land on our horse and carriage all of a sudden? Geez, is the R. S. S. R. that backed up on current events, you sure talk like it.'

'It's U. S. S. R. and just because I use proper language when I speak, doesn't make me any less of a person than you. Although, now I'm kind of second guessing with your lack of knowledge about other countries. I guess English isn't the only subject your horrible in.'

'For your information, I have all my history credits intact and I'm not horrible in English, I'm behind.'

'Same difference, you're behind because you don't know something and you're too proud to ask for any help or take it when it's being given to you.'

'Whatever, Mr. I talk like I'm from a nineteenth century romance novel and take myself way too seriously.'

It was only when the librarian had walked to the back where were sitting and told us that we were in fact in a library. We had to respect the rules and other students who were trying to concentrate. Since we were the only ones in the library at the time, I had to fight off another witty remark and just nod at her while the school boy apologized. In his proper language and all.

**...**

The next few days go by pretty much the same. I go to school, pick up Meredith and leave her with Lissa then head to the library. I show up late to tutoring Thursday because Meredith was having a bad day and kept whining when I attempted to leave. Then I run into Adrian and he gives me a hard time about not having enough time with me this week and I once again find myself in one of his expensive cars trying to keep my clothes on. When he gets frustrated about that, I tell him about going to Aaron's beach house this weekend and he's happy again.

So is Lissa when she tells me Aaron told her that Adrian was taking his father's boat so everyone could party on the docks. I swallow my regret of having to actually go now and in my head think up a story to tell Alberta so she could watch Meredith for me. Tutoring usually goes the way it went on the first session. We argue about everything; what chapters I finished in the literature textbook. How far I've gotten with the novel I'm supposed to finish before Friday. Why the reports I turned in before were graded so low and I always seem to be in a rush when writing essays. I insult him for being his strange self again and he insults my reading level. We get work done, but at a slow pace and I finally finish To Kill a Mockingbird late Wednesday night.

**...**

It was odd to have Janine home two nights in a row, let alone in the same week. Hans was here also and I tried to keep Meredith as close to me as possible. It was a difficult task to do when Janine decided she wanted to play mother of the year and watch a movie with Meredith in the living room while I cleaned the kitchen. I listened to the loud television as Bruce and his shark friends pledged that fish were their friends not food, and heard Meredith laughing as my mother smothered her in hugs and kisses.

I remember when I was Meredith's age and how Janine wasn't anything like that with me. I wasn't jealous or envy of Meredith, I was happy for her. Hey, at least one of us was getting some kind of loving attention from our mother, even if it was for show. I guess it had a lot to do with our fathers and what kind of woman Janine was with them. She was young when I came along and my so-called father didn't stick around too long after. Meredith's father was a different story. It was odd and strange to think, but I was pretty sure Janine was in love with him. She had to have been; I mean, look at her now. It seemed she was only happy when she was drunk or on the odd days like today. Where for some reason Meredith was the only thing other than alcohol that could make her happy.

The dark tapping sound of his steel toed boots hitting the tiled kitchen floor snapped me out of my thoughts. I held back an annoyed sigh and rolled my eyes with my back to him as I continued wiping down the stove. I can feel his heavy presence behind me as I clean and immediately smell the cigar he's just lit. A booming puff of smoke erupts around me and I wave it off as I make my way too the sink. Anything to avoid whatever stupid attempt he was trying to use to get a rise out of me.

'Oh, I'm sorry, does that bother you? How rude of me, I should probably take this outside and smoke, huh?' I ignore him and begin washing the dishes from dinner.

Meredith wanted breakfast for dinner, so we made scrambled eggs and spam. It was going great until the front door opened and in came my estranged sober mother and her assshole boyfriend. I scrub at the pan and fight to ignore his very existence, and the various profanities I want so badly to call him.

'You know, Rosemarie- I mean, I can call you that right? Rosemarie… Anyway, we seem to have this love/hate relationship between us. I was just wondering if that can change… You know, it would make things a lot easier on your mother if we were friends.' It would, but I highly doubt that that would ever happen. In fact I know that would never happen.

'Not likely.' Love/hate? I can safely say it's pretty much a hate/hate relationship. My small mumbled reply causes him to laugh and blow another puff of stinky smoke toward me just to aggravate me more. 'Oh, come on, Rosemarie don't be so quick to judge. I'm a good guy, if you get to know me'

'I'm not judging. I already know I don't like you.' He smiles smugly to me and then shakes his head laughing as my mother enters the kitchen.

'Rosemarie...' My mother's empty voice sounds breaking the tension between me and Hans.

I watch from the doorway as she hurriedly moves around her room. She places clothes, toys and shoves her stuffed turtle into her pink backpack. As she struggles to zip it up, I walk the few steps to her bed and help her close the bag. She moves to find her shoes and sits beside me as she begins placing them on and tying the laces. I watch as she excitedly ties her shoes and remember when I had first taught her to do it. She was so happy when she finally got it, I couldn't wipe the smile off her face. Now she wears that same smile, but I'm not exactly happy about it.

'I get to spend all weekend with mommy, Roses. I can't wait!' She says as she finishes off the last shoe and stands in front of me ready to go. 'You should come with us...'

The hope in Meredith's eyes causes a sting to my chest as I don't really like letting her down or taking away whatever happiness she comes across. However, I was not going to go to Hans's house for a whole weekend. No way. I didn't even like that my mother decided to take Meredith over there for the weekend in the first place. I wasn't at all comfortable with this arrangement.

I swallow heavily and move some frizzy hair from her face while a small smile appears on mine. 'Sorry, Mer Bear, but I can't leave our house all alone. I got homework to finish anyway, so I'll be pretty busy during the day.' She nods disappointed and then reaches out her arms for one of my favorite things to do; hug my little sister.

I squeeze her gently to my body in a sort of calming way for myself. The worry of what could happen when she's over there turns and turns in my mind. I close my eyes tight to fight off the panic and seem somewhat normal for Meredith's sake. Her tiny arms squeeze around my neck and I can't help but want to pick her up, run straight to my room and lock us both in there for protection. As soon as Janine told me she was taking Meredith for the weekend to spend with Hans, a huge wave of worry flowed within me. I did not like this at all.

'Mer, I want you to listen to me, okay?' I feel her nod against my neck as I swallow the slight panic in my voice. 'I want you to stay close to mom, no matter what, okay? If she goes somewhere then go with her, even if it's just to another room in the house. You stay with her, next to her, at all times, okay?' She nods again as we release each other and I try to speak in the calmest of tones.

'How come, Roses? What if I want to go play outside?' I swallow again and take a second to think of how I'm going to explain something like this to my five year old sister. I shake those thoughts away though, it was better to keep her out of the loop. For her own protection and I didn't want to worry her. She's been waiting for time with my mother for a while.

'Just- just promise me you'll do it, okay?' She nods again, but still wears that confused innocent look of curiosity. 'Mer, I want you to be careful. You can play outside and everything, but just make sure mom is around at all times, please?' I place the straps of her backpack over her shoulders and fix them as she wipes her nose with her hand in that childlike way. We both hear Janine call for her and I give one last kiss to her forehead before catching her eyes.

'If at any time you want to come home just call me, I'll go and get you. You remember what I said; stay with mom and call me if you need to, okay?'

She nods again and hugs me quickly before running out of the room with me trailing behind her. 'You ready to go, baby?' My mother's voice softens toward Meredith and I spot Hans in the kitchen attempting to light another cigar. 'We'll be back on Sunday, no one comes over and if you leave lock up.' Of course, I would get the firm empty tone I always get from my mother.

Janine takes Meredith's hand in her's and with a wave from Mer their outside headed to Hans' truck. I make my way into the kitchen to watch through the window as they get in the truck. Hans curses at his lighter for not working and I turn around to face him. He looks at me as he turns the dial to light the burner on the stove and smirks.

'So, what do you think, friends?' He smiles what he thinks passes for kindly and then leans down toward the burner.

I take this opportunity to slowly walk the few steps next to him. Why would I even think about being friends with him, not in a million years. As he's puffing the cigar so it will light, I quietly move my hand to dial and raise the flame as quick as I could. The full blast of the flame almost burning off his face or at least I hoped. He backs up quickly from the blaze of the flame and glares at me with his beady dark eyes.

'You touch my sister in any kind of inappropriate way and I'll make sure you never touch anyone else ever again. Got it, _friend?'_

He doesn't say anything, but the glare he was wearing seems to change into slight fear and then worry. As if he was questioning if I was the sane one or not. I didn't let it faze me though and kept my eyes on him as he retreated slowly out of the kitchen. Once he was out the door he only looked back once before getting in his truck and starting it. I watched from the doorway as he drove away, keeping my eyes emotionless, but freaking out internally.

My phone ringing snaps me out of the intense moment and I leave the front door to grab it from the kitchen table. _Adrian._ 'Hey?'

'Hey, so what time you want me to pick you up?'

I forget for a second of what he was talking about, but then a second later it slams back into my brain as quickly as I forgot it. The beach house. I told him I would go with him and we could spend some time together. I swallow my thoughts and shake my head to try to forget what a stupid move that was on my part and answer him.

'Um, whenever you're ready I guess.' I hear him sigh slightly annoyed before he talks again. 'What did you forget?'

I shake my head as if he could actually see me through the phone and try to play it off. 'No, no of course not. I was just trying to decide what to wear is all. I'll be ready, go ahead and pick me up.' Welp, I guess it gets about as bad as it goes.

**Slow updates, I know, apologies. This chapter is a little eh but I tried. The next should be a bit more entertaining, hopefully.**

**Dimkaisshmexy24: Im not really sure why I write with apostrophes instead of quotation marks. When I first starting posting stories my shift keys didnt work, then I got a new computer and the habit just stuck with me. Im sorry, its just how I roll I guess lol (:**

**irene7: I completely agree with you, I was skeptic writing that first chapter, but thanks for taking a chance on the story. (:**

**And a big huge giant thank you for the reviews, alerts, favs and taking the time to read this. I am very grateful (:**


	5. Chapter 5

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 5:** These kids wear crowns over here.

These parties were usually the same as all the other ones. Adrian asking me if I wanted another drink before I even finished whatever powerful concoction he handed me before. Aaron and Lissa arguing about something every five minutes or so. Avery dancing with whatever guy she thought was hot. Until the guy's girlfriend catches them grinding on each other and then that usually leads to a chick fight the guys don't bother stopping in hopes of one of the girls shirts being ripped off. That or Lissa stops it.

It didn't matter the place, time or occasion, these parties were always the same. Same kegs full of cheap beer, buffet of hard liquor on the counter where Adrian always seem to linger and half naked prissy snotty bitches glaring at you for unknown reasons from across the room. The music was even predictable, horrible pop songs that Lady Caca or Britney Spears belted out or the ever famous but ridiculously annoying party rock anthem. I hate that fucking song. You would think with all this money, these people would blast good music from their expensive state of the art stereos, but no.

There were no techno pounding beats of Deadmau5 or Swedish House Mafia to get you moving. No _I Love College_ by Asher Roth to get you singing along during an intense game of beer pong. Not even some mellow laid back sounds of Sublime or Snoop Dogg, so Mason and Eddie could hit the bong and reminisce about the good old days. When a dime bag costs a dime, whatever that meant. Just that horrible crap that passes for music on the radio these days and the same people chatting away all friendly while secretly gathering information to ruin each other's lives. At least my cup was full and I had been able to avoid Adrian and his boat. So far.

Now just because they had crap taste in music -which I think is coming from Lissa's iPod- didn't mean they partied just as lame. They have money, so the beer and liquor were limitless, and the food was delicious. The house was nice also, I admit it. I had only been here once or twice and neither was long enough to admire the way Aaron's family lived. The decor, furniture, walls, floors and just about everything else screamed money. The walls were plain and bright white, the furniture smelled like the air of the ocean and some of the walls were made of glass. The windows outlined the whole house and you had a pretty clear view of the beach, docks and sun as it was setting. It was a dream house for sure, but for Aaron -and pretty much everyone else here- it was just a roof over their heads for the summer.

If I had the opportunity, I would waste no time in buying a house like this. I wanted to live here as soon as Adrian pulled up and I got that beautiful view of the ocean. Then I saw his boat and I think he thought my excitement was for that instead of the big blue waves moving about the horizon. I wanted to bring Meredith here, let her bask in the hot sun and build muddy sand castles we let the waves wash over. I've been worried about her since she packed to leave. I couldn't help it, I worry.

'Hey!' Snapping out of my daze I turn from the window and the beautiful night sky to face Lissa. 'Hey, Liss, what's up?'

'It's our turn on the table, we got Mase and Eddie.' I nod and down the rest of the rum and coke Adrian served me. Well, rum and a drop of coke he served me, beer pong awaited.

We were about four cups in and Mase and Eddie hadn't sunk one cup yet. I was actually having a lot of fun and the worry over Meredith was slowly fading away. We laughed and teased as Mase and Eddie -who were both stoned out of their minds- kept missing, which only gave me and Liss more ammo to tease them with. I hadn't felt this free in a while and it was good. Liss and I were on a roll and I had actually got my mind off of worrying over Meredith. Adrian was off somewhere outside with some of the guys and I was enjoying myself for once. That was until Avery came along and so began the downward spiral of my night.

'Hey, we got next game, boys.' She said capturing the boy's attention and I ignore her going back to the table ready to take my turn. 'Oh, right on, ladies deaths match. Sweet.'

I roll my eyes at Mason's comment and end up missing the cup totally. 'Not much of a match with Rose's skill, it's probably going to be more of a death.' The boys ooh at Avery's remark as Liss misses her shot too.

I take a drink and move away from the table as the boys search for the ball Lissa threw. Ignoring Avery like the plague I keep my attention on everyone else throughout the house in attempt to avoid the obvious tension Avery had brought. The boys complain about losing to girls and as they argue, Avery snakes her way over to my side. 'Hey, Rose, how's the tutoring going? You any smarter yet?'

I shake my head of the many sarcastic comebacks circling my mind and continue to ignore her smug smirk as she keeps talking. 'Hey, Vik, you remember Rose, right? The girl your loser brother has to sit and teach English to...' I avoid any eye contact with either of them, but I see Viktoria reluctantly smile at Avery through the corner of my eye.

'I take it your still upset about not getting captain, Avery? Is that why you're hanging out with freshman now?' Avery rolls her eyes at Lissa and then focuses back to me with that slimy glimmer in her eyes. 'Oh, I'm not mad about that, well, not anymore. After all, if I were Rose flunking English would be the least of my concerns with all the boyfriend issues she's having.'

That had unfortunately had caught my interest and as I look to Avery, her smug smile stretches only confirming it. So rolling my eyes and watching as Mase takes his turn, I decide to take Avery's bait.

'What in the world are you babbling about now, Lazar?' She smiles while folding her arms across her chest and gestures a nod toward Viktoria. 'Tell her, Vik, tell her what you just told me.'

Reluctantly, Viktoria makes her way from behind Avery and also wears a similar smile annoying me even more. I wait for the boys to finish their turn and Liss hands me a ping pong ball.

'I just overheard Adrian inviting some freshmen girls to his boat. You know, for you guys being together this long, he sure likes to flirt.' I ignore her remark and try to not let my intrigue show while waiting for Liss.

This wasn't new information. It was widely known that Adrian liked to flirt with anything with a nice pair of legs and boobs. Especially when he was drunk, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. He became a little more touchy feely when drinking, but it was harmless. And like I said, Avery was capable of many things. For all I know this could be a trap waiting to be set. So with caution, I continue to play while Avery and Viktoria continue standing there whispering and staring at me. I guess I was right about Avery having an agenda.

They both laugh to whatever Avery whispered to Viktoria and my annoyance only rises, but of course just to get under my skin. 'Hey, Rose, don't sweat it. I'm sure Adrian isn't the type to cheat on you with some random chick. I'd worry more about the girls who are _ready and willing_.'

Viktoria elbows Avery and she just shrugs and laughs, they then focus their attention somewhere else. I didn't know what she meant by saying that or what she was insinuating, but it did stick with me as I finished the game and wondered off to the back of the house.

The quiet makes me wonder and it's not good to do this with an already buzzed brain. I didn't want to take her word for it, but something in her eyes seem to show that she was waiting for something like this. An opportunity she wanted to happen and maybe exact whatever revenge she was after. My mind couldn't stop the possibilities... What if Avery was telling the truth? What if she was lying and talked Viktoria in to making something up? What was she insinuating about me and Adrian?

Those things didn't matter though and were quickly thrown to the back of my mind as my phone vibrated in my pocket.

'Meredith?'

**...**

_I want to go home._

The words snapped me into action and as I walked out of the back door, the hunt for Adrian started. What Viktoria just said didn't matter and neither did Avery and whatever it was she was trying to do. The only thing in my mind was getting to Mer and then home.

So my search for Adrian had begun and as I headed for the docks where his boat was, flashes of what Viktoria just said started going through my mind. I walked through the few people heading down the dock and the old wood creaked as my feet made contact with the boards. I tried to push all useless thoughts away. My phone held tight in my hand and the panic of Meredith not answering pushing my worry higher.

Once I answered her call the fear in her voice activated some kind of alarm within me. The tunnel vision kicked in, the buzz from the alcohol only effecting me as I tried to hurry my way down the dock to the boat. Avery and Viktoria's words were being pushed back as I tried not to focus on meaningless chatter, but on my little sister. I press the call button again and the phone begins to ring. Once I'm closer to the boat I can hear some music being played.

'Hello?'

'Meredith, are you okay?' She didn't speak right away, but I could hear her breathing on the line. Still hearing the music coming from the boat, I stopped where I was before walking any further and listen intently to the phone.

It sounded as though she was moving around. I heard voices in the background and a door closing, then the phone shifting.

'Roses, can you come and get me, please. I want to go home now.' I let a deep almost relieved sigh escape me and took another breath of the fresh ocean air. 'Yeah, Mer bear, I'll come get you right now okay?'

'Okay, I'll wait for you.' She was scared, I could tell by the anxiousness of her voice.

I sigh again trying to calm myself down and hesitate asking her what's wrong. I didn't want to worry her and I'm sure that her calling me to come home was for a good reason, but I couldn't scare her any more than she already was by asking for that reason. I had to protect her.

The phone clicks ending the call and I begin making the rest of the way to the boat. The music gets a little louder from within the boat and I notice the lights were on, but very dim. In my state of worry and trying to get out of here as fast as I could. I barge onto the boat. The music much louder to my ears now. The door to the cabin closed, but as soon as I rip it open… I stop.

Adrian was there, the music I now noticed soft and mellow. He had candles set up around some chairs and was in the middle of lighting them when I barged in. 'Hey...'

He said as he looked up at me from his spot by a chair. I swallowed in confusion. I was expecting to catch him doing the total opposite from what I was seeing. Maybe walking in on him downing more vodka or with some girl like Avery had implied. The setting was romantic and beautiful, but there was a certain look in his eyes. As if I had caught him off guard.

'You okay?' He asked seeming not as drunk as I thought he would be. I nod and slowly make my way into the cabin of the boat. 'Yeah, actually, I um... I have to go...'

His face contorts in a surprised frown and he cautiously makes his way closer to me. 'Go? I thought we were going to you know... hang out...' I release another sigh; this one wrapped in annoyance, but also worry. 'I have to go get Meredith... she called and wants to come home.'

He nods slowly and his eyes shift into slight worry, but they blank of emotion seconds after. He stands straight with his arms to his sides and his eyes don't meet mine at all. Here it is, I thought. The self-centered jerk side of Adrian making its appearance and about to tell me something for leaving him again. The snarky remarks and sarcastic bitterness he always dished out when I denied him something he wanted or didn't do what he said. I knew it was coming any second now and I really didn't care if it did this time, Meredith needed me.

I was all ready and prepared for him to dish it out, and take it without trying to make up for it right after. I wasn't going to waste time and try to make him happy by promising something to make up for it. I didn't have time for that right now; it would have to come later. However, it surprised me when he nodded again and then did something I didn't see coming.

'Okay.' Okay? What? No getting things thrown back in my face? No snarky or rude comments about Meredith? No, nothing? Okay?

I slightly shake my head at the shock and watch as he plays with the lighter in his hands nervously. 'Okay? You're not mad?'

He shrugs and then continues to avoid my eyes as he explains his reasons. 'I mean, if you got to go, you should go.'

'Really?' This was unreal, no complaining about how I'm a shitty girlfriend or ditching him at a party, just an okay. 'I'm sorry, you know, we can't hang out like you wanted to... I have to get Mer...'

He nods again and smiles almost politely. 'Then go, get outta here before you run out of time.' I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or serious, but it sounded a lot like the latter. 'Seriously, Rose, go. Go get her, I'll see you later. We'll do something some other time, but you should definitely go... like _now_... you know incase its serious or something.'

I nod and half turn my body to leave the boat, but turn back before doing so in slight disbelief. He stood there a little fidgety, looking somewhat impatient and waiting for me to leave. It kind of felt like he wanted me to leave and was in a rush to get me out of there, but I couldn't be sure. Another glance back at him and he waited with bated breath as I left the boat. It was weird, he had a plan for an evening in his boat for us and as soon as I opened that cabin door; awkward was the feeling.

**...**

Things just kept getting weirder after that. I had been able to catch a ride with Eddie and Mase as they went to "see a man about a horse" or so Mason had put it. Which turned out to be code for buy more weed as Eddie explained? I shouldn't be in a car with two guys already stoned out of their minds, but I had to get to Meredith.

The ride was as slow as ever, which was no surprise with Eddie. Stoned or not, he always drove like an old lady. It was also hard to keep the panic at bay, but with Mason chattering about this and that, it was kind of settling. These two talked about the most random things, but they were funny as hell when they did.

'Aww man, did you see Camille Conta's outfit, bro?' Eddie shook his head at Mason's question and replied no. 'Me neither, I was too focused on her huge boobs to pay attention to anything else.' They laugh and giggle like crazy as we slowly make our way to the freeway. 'They were nice.'

'Dude, I'm so hungry, bro. I'm like starving mad for some cheese popcorn.'

'I want a baked potato and Cheetos... and one of those garden salads my grandma makes, but mostly the baked potato.' I look back and give Mase a look of confusion as he and Eddie keep talking about their odd case of munchies.

'Potato. Po... tay... toe... Potato.' Mase laughs at himself as I shake my head and wonder why I even asked for this ride. 'Potato, bro. Potato. Bro?'

'Yeah?' I watch as Eddie waits for Mason to say what he has to say. 'Brotato.' They laugh hysterically at Mason's, well, joke and Eddie begins to unknowingly slide into the next lane.

'Whoa, maybe you should watch the road, Eddie.' He blinks and looks to me before setting us in the right lane and then smiles widely.

'Why, where is it going?' He and Mason laugh at his crap joke and I sigh in frustration as we continue on the road.

The car gets a little quiet after that and from the side mirror I catch Mason dosing off in the back seat. We were on the highway now and the next exit was where Hans lived, so the panic and worry over Meredith started weighing in again. And then Eddie spoke.

'I see you spoke with the shadow...'

At first I thought it was another one of those weird conversations he and Mason would have, but the look in Eddie's eyes was actually sincere. I think. 'Shadow?'

He nods re-gripping the steering wheel as we switch lanes to catch the exit coming up.

'Yeah, Viktoria... She follows Avery around like a lost puppy. She's cute and all, but I don't know... she tries too hard, you know?' I nod and look out to the window, watching as the houses went from fancy beach house to ordinary middle class homes.

'Her brother tutors me after school.'

'Oh yeah, man, how's that going? All day after school you gotta sit in the li-boring and get lectured by the leader of the math squad; harsh.'

'We have a math squad?' I ask before Eddie gives me a look of surprise and then focuses back on the road. 'We do? That's cool, man, I hope they win their tournaments… or matches or whatever they call them.'

I laugh and shake my head at him as we continue slowly down some busy streets. The radio playing Bob Marley lowly as Mason seems to be sleeping it off in the back.

'So Avery's got herself an accomplice, huh?' Eddie laughs and then shakes his head amused.

'Ha, more like an apprentice, she's like a mini me of Avery. They even got Lissa holding Viktoria the open spot on the cheer squad too; you girls are crazy for those pom poms, yo.'

'Really? Liss is going to just let that happen? She didn't say anything to me…'

'Yeah, that's what Camille was saying. She was all mad and bitchy, talking about Viktoria stabbing her in the back and budding up to Avery. Camille said Viktoria promised no hard feelings if either of them got the spot after they auditioned, but I guess Viktoria kissed enough of Avery's ass to get it without having to audition.'

'Girls are a bunch of crazy sauce, man. Except you Rose, you cool.' Mason's voice comes out of nowhere and he seems to be wide awake now.

'Thanks, Mase. So just like that, Lissa's going to give in to Avery? What about Mia, they both have to agree on someone, it's part of the rules...' Eddie shrugs and stops at a red light while I ponder over the revelation.

It was weird, very much Avery behavior, but weird. I wonder how Viktoria even convinced Avery to go and beg Lissa for that spot on the squad. Maybe Avery wasn't the only one with an agenda and maybe Viktoria had something Avery wanted, but I didn't know what. And I didn't know what this meant.

'Thanks guys, I'm cool here.' I get out of the car and Mase follows jumping into the passenger seat.

'You're sure; I can take you all the way?' I shake my head at Eddie and wave them off as I decide to walk the couple houses down to Hans' place. 'Okay, see ya, Rose!'

'Bye.' Eddie starts the car and Mase buckles himself in, poking his head out of the window before they drive away.

'Bye, Rose! Be safe!' I nod at Mason and begin walking as they start driving away. 'And watch out for geese!' I shake my head at Mason's weirdness and make my way down the street Hans lives on.

**...**

I'm about two houses away from Hans' old buckety house and notice the many cars parked out in front of it. I get to the gate and as soon as I open it to walk up the sidewalk, Meredith bursts out the door and runs into my arms. She squeezes me tightly and I carry her up to the porch. Looking in the window from the porch, I see many people in the house, but I don't see Janine.

'Hey, you okay?' Meredith nods with her head on my shoulder and snuggled into me more. 'Where's mom, I didn't see her in there?' She shrugs and squeezes me once more as I look in the window again to search for Janine.

I don't find her and I really didn't want to go in the house to look for her. I didn't want to deal with my mother or Hans, I just wanted the night to end and get Mer home. So leaving her things there and one last look in the house. I turn away and begin the long walk home with Meredith in my arms.

**This chapter is mostly filler and Im not happy with it, but yea... Thanks for reading, alerting, favs and reviewing/commenting? I guess... I miss the review button. **

**The next chapters will be more interesting, hopefully (;**

**Anywho thank you muchos for reading and if your offended by anything going on in this chapter, just remember; its only a story (:**


	6. Chapter 6

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 6:** Stranger things will come before you.

'What are you doing with those, Dimka?' My grandmother asked.

I shake my head as I make my way out of the kitchen and upstairs, trying my hardest to keep quiet and not make a sound. It was a bright and sunny Sunday morning, and I knew Viktoria would be nursing a bad hangover today since coming home only a few hours ago. Her room was at the end of the hallway and making any noise would ruin this, so I had to stay stealthy.

I slowly and quietly open her bedroom door and am graced with the delightful image of half her body hanging off the bed, her mouth open and a fresh puddle of drool dripping to her arm. It smelled like vomit and sweat in here, the odor almost making me change my mind about doing this. _Yeah right._ I stand as close to her bed as I possibly can and quietly raise the pot and spoon out in front of me. A quick look back to her open bedroom door and then a silent count of three in my head.

The first time the spoon and pot collide in my hands is the loudest and Viktoria's eyes snap open in alert. A few more clangs and banging of the pot and Viktoria is now wide awake and holding her head in agony. 'Dimka! What the fuck?' I smile as she earmuffs her head with her hands. 'What is your problem you dick?' I laugh and stop banging the pot and spoon together as we are now glaring at each other.

A wide smug smile stretches across my face as I watch her close her eyes and squint in pain. 'Good morning, sunshine and watch your mouth drunkie'

Viktoria groans and huffs as I open the curtains to her room. Welcoming the bright sunlight into her dark room, the light of the sun only reflects off her bright pink painted walls and she groans again, covering her head with the blanket. 'Get out of bed already and come help me grocery shop for mama. I've got work after, so hurry up.' Viktoria smacks her lips in complaint and rolls over in bed to face the wall.

'Viktoria...' She doesn't get up or move, so tired of the lack of effort she's been putting in lately, I yank off the covers and throw them to the floor as she glares at me. 'Come on!'

'I don't even cook, so why do I have to do this shit for?' I roll my eyes and shake my head while tossing a bottle of ketchup in the basket. 'I could be home, getting my beauty rest for tomorrow, you know?'

I sigh and begin pushing the cart out of the isle and into the next. I've been hearing complaint after complaint since we got into the car to drive over here. I'm about ready to throw all the can foods we have in the basket at her. 'Is that all that matters to you; your dumb friends and your looks?'

'At least I have friends, Dimka; I don't hang out with losers all day in the back of some run down bookstore. Nerd.'

'Follower!' Viktoria makes a face at me and I mock one right back, causing her to roll her eyes at me. I laugh it off and continue to push the basket down the aisle. 'And just so you don't cook, doesn't mean you can't help mama out once in a while. You eat the food; you can shop for it too.'

A few isles later and a basket half way full, along with some more complaining from Viktoria and we're almost finished shopping. Then I see her, at the end of the cookie isle -which I had to promise to stop by to get Viktoria to shut up for a while- holding bags of cookies in both hands. She was standing in front of her basket looking at the little girl standing inside of it and it seemed like she was waiting for something.

As I moved closer down the aisle slowly, waiting for Viktoria to choose between whatever gross cheese filled crackers she likes, I caught some of their conversation.

'Anytime now, Mer bear, chocolate chip or delicious looking frosting stuff? C'mon we don't have all day...'

The little girl looked between both bags of cookies. Her eyes flickering in deep heavy thought as Rose shook the cookies in her hands in a gesture for the girl to hurry up. 'If you don't choose in the next five seconds, I will make the choice for you.'

'That's not fair, Roses, you're asking me to only pick one...'

'Five...'

'But they're both my favorite, how can I only pick one?'

'Four...'

'Roses?' The little girl folds her arms over her chest and pouts as Rose keeps counting down. I could tell that it was just a game between the two as Rose smiled widely and placed both of the bags of cookies in their basket.

'If I made you choose, Mer Bear, we'd be here forev- What, what's wrong?'

'Why are they staring at us?' I don't quite comprehend who she's talking about until Rose turns around and we come face to face. I snap out of my daze and nod awkwardly to them, turning around to get out of here as fast as possible. I didn't want was happening all last week of school to start here. As soon I turn around though, I notice Viktoria's sharp glare dead set on Rose.

'Viktoria, let's go.' I mumble and turn our cart around to leave the isle the way we came in, but for some reason Viktoria isn't following me.

'Hey Rose, funny running into you here.' I watch as Viktoria makes her way in front of Rose and curse in my head at not knowing how long this little reunion would take.

'Viktoria. Tutor.' Rose acknowledges me with that too familiar annoyance in her voice and then focuses back on Viktoria. 'How have the practices been going? I heard it was between you and Camille for the last spot?' There was no kindness in Rose's voice or any kind of other emotion whatsoever. I slightly got the feeling there was something odd between them. Viktoria answers back with the same emotionless tone, but I caught a hint of determination in it.

'Oh, it's me, Camille dropped. I guess she couldn't handle the pressure.' Viktoria's tone of voice changed at the ending of that sentence. It was smugger now than a few minutes ago, but I didn't think anything of it. 'Kind of like you, you know, flunking your classes and not being able to cheer.'

My eyes widen a little at Viktoria's comment and surprise is written all over Rose's face. I mean none of us were expecting that to come out, but it only made the feeling of unease more present. 'So I noticed you ditched Adrian and the romantic dinner he had set for you two at the party. What was that about?'

This conversation -although I have absolutely no interest in it- seemed to be getting as intense as ever. Viktoria had that hinge of something in her voice. That hinge that she usually used when she was up to no good or trying get at something. It reminded me all over again of how different I and my sister were now. It reminded me of how sad it was that she wanted to be friends with girls like Rose and that Avery girl she hung around with lately.

'What did you say?'

I noticed the irritation in Rose's eyes and the rising anger in her voice after Viktoria asked that. Since meeting Rose I knew full well she wouldn't stand for Viktoria's stuff, but I also knew Viktoria. Things could get ugly and fast, and I didn't want to cause some scene in the middle of the grocery store.

'Viktoria, let's go, I don't have time for this.' My words are ignored as Viktoria keeps her focus on Rose and stays standing directly in front of Rose.

'Yeah, that's what he said. He was kind of hurt you just up and left him hanging, _again_. I'm guessing it was real important if you left a guy like him waiting around... I guess it was good Avery and I was there to comfort him, huh?'

'Viktoria! Come on!'

'In a minute Dimka, I'm talking to my friend.' The smug pouring out of Viktoria's mouth as she said friend, was more obvious than ever. Now I could care less about their pointless drama over Ivashkov, but when it effects my time is when I won't put up with it.

'What are trying to get at Viktoria, get it over with already.' Rose waits for Viktoria's answer, but Viktoria takes her time with it. She steps slowly closer to Rose, as if taunting her and I can tell she's smiling that snide like way that is supposed to intimidate people.

'Now wouldn't you like to know.' That was all I could take as I didn't want to be standing around while these girls fought over that задница, Ivashkov. I was fed up with Viktoria and I wasn't about to get into it again with Rose, especially in front of her little sister.

'Vika, let's go already!'

Viktoria walks away slowly turning from facing Rose, but having that stupid smirk planted on her face the whole time. I don't recognize her with this behavior; this isn't my little sister who use to be so kind and innocent. This was some uncaring evil version of herself that I couldn't stand the very sight of. This was a stranger and she only seems to become it more and more these days. How I wish she would just be herself and not anything like those idiots.

'Don't kid yourself, Vik, being best friends with Avery isn't going to last very long.'

Rose's words echo in the isle and in my head. With a last look to Rose, I see the rage and confusion in her eyes. She turns away and walks out of the isle in the other direction from us. What was going on, I didn't care for, but Viktoria was becoming more and more like those girls I couldn't stand. I wasn't too sure I wanted to let that happen.

'What was that all about?' Viktoria shrugs as we drive back home and I think over what happen back in the store.

'Nothing.' I look at her and then quickly back to the road. I sigh and roll my eyes at the ridiculous drama these girls cause. I didn't know if it was over cheerleading or stupid Ivashkov, but it was getting on my last nerve.

'Are you and Rose having some kind of confrontation or something?'

'Its nothing, Dimka, don't worry your nerdy little head. I can take care of myself.' I shake my head at how ignorant and childish she sounds, but keep driving. I wonder at what happen to my little sister to make her want to start something with someone like Rose.

'Are you making enemies with those people? I thought you envied girls like them? I thought you wanted to be like them and have everything Rose and they do?' Viktoria snorts at the mention of Rose and shakes her head smiling smugly.

'Rose is a bitch and she doesn't have shit that I want anymore.' I look once more to Viktoria and see that stranger again. _Girls._

**...**

'What up, Belikov?' I look up to the sound of Christian's voice and nod. It just about time for the bookstore to close and we were going to hang out tonight and skate. 'I don't get how you can work here, dude. It's way too quiet for me.'

'I enjoy the quiet.' I smirk at him and continue checking in brand new books.

'Yeah and you like books; weird.' I laugh at him and continue working as he makes his way around the front of the register desk. 'So have you seen Jill today?'

My eyes flicker up to him as he toys with a book and then places it back on the shelf. 'Why are you going to confess your undying love to her?' 'Ha ha! You're fucking hilarious. No, actually, I got the latest gossip and wanted to lay it down for you, but I didn't think she would want to hear it. You know, with her complete hatred for popular-materialistic-self-centered people and all.'

'Okay and you think I want to hear all about your infatuation with Lissa or care what all the latest gossip is?' He shrugs and makes a face at my comment. 'Of course you're going to tell me anyway, right?' He nods excitedly and I shake my head exasperated.

'So what's the latest, and please stop saying gossip you sound like a girl.' Christian glares at me, but goes on into it anyway.

'So I ran into Mason this morning...' I nod for him to keep going and he does while messing up the shelves of books I just fixed all nice and neat. 'He said Friday night at that party, the cops were called. They almost arrested Ivashkov for partying on the dock, but his daddy got him out of it. And when they got him out of the boat, he was drunk off his ass. Can you believe that, cops pulled him out of his daddy's boat, half naked with some underage girl and the guy gets away with it.'

Christian shakes his head in disbelief and I slightly wonder why anyone would care about Ivashkov or some dumb party. I couldn't care less about any of those people, especially Adrian Ivashkov. Then a small thought came to me and I remembered Viktoria would have been at that party, with those people... 'Did he see Viktoria there? She was supposed to have been there with Camille or something...' Christian shrugs and remains misplacing things I had just fixed on the bookshelves.

'I guess since she's been hanging out with evil doctor pork chop these days. Mase said he had seen her around, but after the cops showed up they all made like a tree got the fuck out of there.'

'Evil doctor pork chop?' Christian mouths Avery to me and I just simply nod at him. I try to let the slight worry go to the back of my mind and continue working as Christian goes off and makes more messes around the store.

Viktoria would go to some party and then almost get arrested, then not say anything about getting in trouble by the police. I sigh at the stress it would've put mama in and actually don't blame Viktoria for not saying anything about it. I was going to have to talk to her about this and see what her deal was. I was also still slightly wondering what the problem with Rose at the grocery store was about. I really needed to talk Viktoria it seemed.

'Hey, dude, you almost done here, I'm starving.' I nod and then scan the last book into the computer before closing everything and locking it. 'Hey, you think Viktoria seen Lissa there?'

I sigh once again at Christian's question and silently hope he forgets about that girl sooner or later. I shake my head not answering him and we begin slowly skating down the sidewalk toward the pizza parlor. 'Ah, she probably wouldn't tell me anything anyway. I'm friends with you and she hates you. That would make me guilty by association.' I give him and annoyed look and skate ahead while he just shrugs. 'I'm just saying, dude, chill. Hey, you going to warn Viktoria about getting too close to Ivashkov? You should, I mean, with what happen to Jill and all.'

His words echo in my mind and I shake the thoughts of what happen last year with Jill. As much as Viktoria and I have our differences, I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to her because of some rich jerk. However, that didn't mean she was going to listen to me, even if he was sometimes annoying, Christian was right. I had to do something.

**...**

'Tutor.' She greets me, two minutes before I would mark that she was late again and then she sits down at the table.

'You're not late for once.'

'No, but it's not like I didn't try to be.' A wide smug smile causes me to shake my head in annoyance and I begin explaining today's plans.

'Are you really going to listen to your iPod right now?' The disbelief graces her face effortlessly as I nod a yes to her. 'You're supposed to be helping me with this...'

I shrug and continue to scroll through artist after artist on my iPod. 'It's pretty easy; you read the short story in chapter ten and then answer the essay questions.'

'Then why are you getting paid to tutor me if you're just sitting there watching me?'

'Maybe they really hired me to babysit.' She glares at my words as my smirk widens, returning the earlier smugness she gave me. 'Get to work; you have another chapter to do.'

'So nice and polite you are.'

'Thank you.' I say looking back to my iPod and finally choosing some music to listen to while she reads.

'I was being sarcastic.'

'Me too. Work.' I say not even flinching her way. She sighs and then goes back to the literature book.

The quiet surrounds us and for once we're not arguing or throwing sarcastic remarks at each other. It's pleasant and peaceful, but who knows how long this will last. She begins working on the questions and I continue scrolling through music, when her phone goes off in her pocket. She looks to it and then sighs deeply annoyed. Ignoring the call, she goes back to work, but I catch her mumbling something about Adrian annoying her.

It sparks something in my mind and I remember what happen yesterday when Viktoria and I ran into her at the grocery store. I didn't want to push anything or bring up unnecessary drama, but I had sister to look out for. It didn't matter what Viktoria would say, if she got mad or not, I had to know so I could protect her if I had to. Just like I did Jill.

'Why are you staring at me? Is that like a hobby of yours?' I realize that I was so focused on my thoughts I had drifted off and kept looking at Rose. I shake my head of the daze and clear my throat. This could spark another round of arguing and insults, but it didn't matter.

'What's going on between you and my sister?' Rose stops writing and hesitantly looks up to me just moving her eyes.

'Nothing.'

'Nothing, huh? What was all that at the grocery store then? It wasn't some friends catching up on conversation, that's for sure. Are the two of you having a disagreement?'

'Do you always talk like that?' She turned her head to face me this time and I spotted the amusement in her eyes, but didn't let her drift from the topic.

'Yes and don't try to change the subject. What's going on with Viktoria? Did she start some kind of trouble?' Rose looks to me for a couple of seconds and her eyes reveal nothing. Then she's back to working and I'm left in the silence. For a little while.

'Look, it's nothing; your sister is just trying to act like that spolied bitch she hangs out with, okay? Just leave it alone, it's a bunch of drama anyway. It will come and go.' I sigh at the unanswered question and become tired of the lack of people giving me nothing to go on. I was especially tired of Rose and her ability to try and manipulate me into something.

'You know, whatever it is just give Viktoria a break.' Rose looks to me with disbelief clear in her eyes and I continue explaining myself. 'Viktoria is young, she doesn't really know what she's doing or who she wants to be-'

'I think she knows exactly who she wants to be. Avery's little carbon copy, her little buddy who's always instigating everything all the time. You know, just because Viktoria is your little sister doesn't mean you know her that well.' She had a point and I hated the fact that she was right. I didn't know Viktoria at all anymore it seemed, but I had a feeling Rose was about to let me in on it.

'I know that, it's like she woke up one day and completely changed, but still. She's my sister and I don't want her to get caught up in all you and your so-called friend's drama. She's just naive and doesn't quite have a mind of her own yet.'

'And what? I'm supposed to just let her insult me and talk about me and my boyfriend behind my back because she's naive?' I swallow as Rose's voice rises a little bit and look around to see if we had caught the librarian's attention.

'No, I suppose not, but you have to understand. Viktoria wants to fit in and she's quick to influence. I just think that since you're older and know more, you would excuse her... You have a little sister too; I'd hope you want someone to look out for her if she were in this position as well.'

Rose looks to her book, thinking it over and then slowly back to me. My point seemed to have come across to her, but of course she still has something to say. 'Okay, you have a point. But I'm not the one you should be worried about. Viktoria isn't exactly hanging out with the right people in the crowd these days. You said she's influenced easily, your right, that's her weakness... she could get hurt badly because of it.'

I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but it didn't sit well with me. It also made me wonder why Rose, who understood where I was coming from, would claim those people as her friends. It didn't make sense to me, not at all.

**Another filler chapter, but it is Dimitri (; I kind of wanted to get things moving along with Rose and Dimitri, so this chapter had to set it all up. The chapters after this I think you'll like (: Also there will be clusters of chapters in RPOV and DPOV, just so you know.**

**Once again THANK YOU so much for the comments/reviews and favorites and alerts. They are much welcomed and hopefully the next chapter will be up a lot sooner than these last ones.**

**Tanks for reading (;**


	7. Chapter 7

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 7:** Watch it unravel...

It was about time for the library to close and as Rose packed up; I couldn't help but go over everything in my head. She was right, it's all a bunch of drama, but if I could keep Viktoria away from it then it was worth it to know. Viktoria... she was much to handle and obviously way in over her head. I knew reality would eventually set in, but not when. I just had to make sure I was there to support her when it did.

We made our way outside, me following silently behind Rose as we exited the library. As soon as we were outside I wasn't sure if I should say anything or just keep walking away. It turns out I didn't have to do anything as she was welcomed by a visitor.

'I've been trying to call you all fucking day, Rose, what the hell's going on?' I slow my pace as I walk down the rest of the stairs and away from the not so happy couple.

'I was busy obviously.' Adrian huffs at her answer and the two of them stand in one spot as I slow my pace even more to listen. Why? That's a mystery to even me.

'What do you want Adrian, I have to go and get Mer...' The irritation in Rose's voice amused me, well, for a short second. The moment I saw Ivashkov roll his eyes in annoyance at the mention of the little girl, I found myself with even more dislike for him. If that were possible.

I had decided to stop at one of the picnic benches in the middle of the quad where the library was and pretended as if I was waiting for someone. I was still close enough to hear them, but had my back to them as if I wasn't paying attention at all. Not that I think they would have noticed me anyway.

'Yeah, yeah, yeah, the kid. It's all about the kid. You know, I'm getting kind of tired of this routine Rose. Sooner or later something's got to give...'

Rose sighs tiredly and tries to side step Adrian, but he blocks her. Watching from the window on the library, I had placed my skateboard on the table and pretended to fidget with it. It was kind of odd their relationship. From my perspective, it looked as though Adrian thought he was the king and everyone -including Rose- had to be at his command. It wasn't surprising, this was the way Ivashkov was, everyone seemed to be on his time.

'What is that supposed to even mean?'

'What do you think it means, sweetheart? You think I have time to be waiting around on you and your bratty sister, and all the other shit going wrong in your life? I don't need this, Rose. You're either with me or you're not.'

The words coming out of his mouth only seem to anger her more and myself for some reason. For someone who appeared to have it all, Rose sure was unhappy it seemed.

'Are you serious right now, Adrian? You're going to stand here act like your god and give me this shit? What about you, what about all the talk everyone saying around here, huh?'

'What the hell are you talking about, talk, what talk?'

_'Oh,_ _you know_, that shit about you almost getting arrested at the party? The fact that Avery and all her little stupid friends keep looking and whispering at me about how I ditched you, and you were hurt, and all that other bullshit. What about that Adrian?'

Her voice had risen a little and I couldn't help but turn to face them. Her body language spoke volumes, her hands were out as if she was gesturing with them. Her feet sternly planted to the pavement as Adrian looked to her with a blank careless expression. After a few short seconds of silence all he did was shrug and pull out a cigarette to place in his mouth. Rose shakes her head exasperated with him and his antics, and then once again tries to walk away.

'Hold up, I don't even remember what happen that night, okay? All I know is you left and then I got wasted and then the cops showed up... All that other he said she said shit doesn't matter.'

'Doesn't matter? Really? If it didn't matter Adrian than why have you been calling me all day? Texting me every damn five seconds... What sorry excuse do you have to apologize with now?'

He didn't say anything, but made it a point to avoid her eyes. She stood there waiting for him to reply while he stood there and kept quiet. After a few seconds of that, Rose sighed and then got to walk away this time.

'This isn't over, Rose, we're going to talk about this! No one just walks away from me!'

As Rose kept her steady angry pace walking away. I stayed in my position and watched as the two most popular people in school expose themselves right here in the middle of campus. It was an illusion those two, perfect on the outside, but one huge mess inside. And once again, it only made me more confused as to why Rose would put up with that.

I shake my head and roll my eyes at them as I place my back pack on and get ready to head to work. I wasn't sure why I stood around and listened, but I couldn't help it. Maybe I need to stop hanging out with Christian. He loved when he saw some drama happening, especially when it was between people like Adrian and Rose.

'Hey, sexy, what you doing tonight?' I turn before walking away and look to where Adrian had stood. I notice he was on the phone now. He was smiling and relaxed from just a second ago.

'Aww, how about you ditch that boring mess and I'll pick you up, around nine... Just look cute and be ready to have a good time, okay?'

He hung up, looking much too happy for having just argued with his longtime girlfriend and the unsettling feeling in my gut grew rapidly. I didn't know who he was talking to, but I knew it sure wasn't Rose.

**...**

Work was work and the moments I caught myself pondering about Viktoria or Rose were way too many. It was all so confusing and secretive. Two things I tried very hard not to have in my life. I was simple, work and friends, family and focus. Viktoria and the people she surrounded herself with was a whole other thing.

My mother was working late and my grandmother hadn't been feeling well this morning, so I knew it would only be me and Viktoria for dinner. I was about three houses from my own, skating at a steady pace as I enjoyed the cool night air. It wasn't until I saw two small red break lights in front of my house that I had sped up. The car was small and almost silent, until the engine roared and that's when I spotted a small figure running out of our yard.

'Vika!' I yelled as I ran off my skateboard and headed to our yard.

'Vika, where are you goin-' 'I'll be home later, Dimka!' Those words left her mouth and then she was quickly in the car as I reached our gate.

The car was red from what I could tell, a nice expensive Porsche with Avery Lazar hanging out of the passenger door as Viktoria got in.

'Viktoria!' I tried again as the person who was driving came into full view and I knew this wasn't good.

He smirked when our eyes made contact and my dislike for him only grew to a point where I wanted to throw my skateboard at his stupid fancy car. The small door shut as Viktoria and Avery were giggling away and when my body was finally able to move closer to the car they sped off with a loud screech.

'черт' I shook my head and open the gate to head inside. Viktoria with Adrian was not what I wanted, but at least she wasn't alone with him. He was the last guy I would ever want my sister to be around, but maybe Avery was the one distracting him for the moment. This only just confused me even more, I mean wasn't he dating Rose and he's driving around with two other girls late at night?

I headed inside to a quiet house and knew Viktoria had snuck out without babushka knowing. The kitchen sink was full of dishes, the laundry only half done and Viktoria had to finish this before mama got home this morning. I guess I was going to be up for a late night, if not doing her chores then definitely worrying about her. These guys only seem to get on nerves more and more and I truly wondered what Rose -let alone anyone- saw in him. _Rose..._ черт!

**...**

I was horribly tired today. Last night I stayed up until three waiting for Viktoria to come home before our mother did. Of course when she walked in she was drunk, smelling like reefer and so loud it was like she wanted to get caught by babushka.

I had to make up lies for her when mama asked why she was still asleep when it was time for breakfast. I never liked lying to mama, but Viktoria would be causing stress she didn't need. And even when I tried to lecture her as I put her to bed, all she did was laugh and brag about how awesome her friends were. How I had to get new ones. How I wasn't her father and so I had no say in her life. How I had to experience life, I could tell it was the alcohol talking. She just ended up making me mad and so I plopped her down on her bed and went to my room.

I wanted to warm Viktoria off of Adrian and those people, but I figured the more I pushed her, the more she would just ignore me and do it anyway. It was too late for that now or maybe it wasn't; either way I knew she had to learn on her own now. Once mama told me that it's better to learn from your mistakes by making them and I had soon realized, Viktoria would have to do just that. It didn't matter if I tried to help her or not. Viktoria was going to do what she wanted.

'Tutor.'

'Are going to greet me like that every day?' Rose stops to look at me for a second before rolling her eyes and siting down, placing her pack on the table. 'We can just finish some of the chapters you missed in the literature book, the essay questions. If you need help let me know.'

She nods after a moment and then opens the textbook to the chapter she finished last time. I sigh and try to rub my eyes of the frustration and tired I was feeling. I was being a little snappy with her having my mind full of Viktoria's drama. That and I still had to go to work after this, when all I wanted to do was go home and sleep.

'You look tired, stay up late reading Twilight or something?' I look to her with a slight glare and shake my head at her smug expression. 'I'm just joking with you, okay? You just- you got that look… that one that settles on your face when you've got a bunch of crap on your mind. I know that look… you want some concealer it helps to cover it?'

'I'm not in the mood for your banter right now, please.' She smirks and keeps her eyes to the book.

A few silent moments pass us by as Rose puts herself into her work. I was thankful for the silence. It was kind of unnecessary really, her having a tutor, she knew what she was doing and she was smart. Why she was in here with me, I have no clue, but I'm getting paid anyway.

I sigh once again in the silence. For some reason with all the Viktoria mess swirling in my head, a thought about the whole argument Rose and Adrian had yesterday popped up in my mind. I wondered if she knew that I heard it, if she would be embarrassed or if she even cared. I also wondered about Viktoria and her late night party with Avery and Adrian. I wondered if Rose knew anything or if she was just as clueless as Viktoria was?

It was all appearance and material things with them. Yet, I find myself still heavy in curiosity about the girl sitting in front of me. How the smirk when she says something sarcastic plants itself in the perfect corner of her mouth. How her hair always looks good and how beautiful she is. Why would someone so pretty and decent on the outside, be with someone like Ivashkov? Who was just some showboat spoiled and selfish to the core?

I didn't get it. What was it about him that kept her? It had to be something decent right, Rose seemed like a person who could carry her own. Why be with some guy who bought his way through life? That wasn't real; didn't girls want something real, something mutual?

'Why are you with him?' The question stuns us both as I catch myself asking it aloud instead of in my mind where I tried to keep it.

'What?' Rose eyes widen in confusion as I lick my lips and clear my throat in attempt to save myself.

'I didn't- never mind, I- I don't know why I said that.' She looks at me for a few seconds, searching my eyes, but then just goes back to reading. The air around us is now awkward and a little tense.

My brain racking itself with regret at why I even said anything. What the hell was I thinking about when I just out and said that? It was about Viktoria and her undying need to fit in with those people, and Rose with her confusing relationship. It was all so... strange and misunderstanding. I just didn't get it, plain and simple.

'Are you okay?' I look up to her and notice the concern leaking from her eyes. 'You keep rubbing the sides of your head, like you're lost or something... You have a headache or what?'

I shake my head no answering her and put my hands down on the table not even noticing I was doing that. I avoid her eyes and clear my throat to try and get my head clear of everything.

'We could end this early, you know, if you don't feel good...' I look to her and shake my head at her suggestion. Of course she would find a way to get out of this, even if it is out of my own discomfort. She was just adding to my frustration and confusion.

'Why so you could go and argue with your boyfriend again? Or hang out with your superficial friends?' I close my eyes tightly in regret once again at what has left my mouth, and then slowly open them to look at her.

The look on Rose's face only insured me that I was getting into forbidden territory. But I couldn't help myself, the fact that Viktoria was sneaking out and coming home drunk. The fact that she was acting just like them and there was nothing I could do about it. The fact that Rose- any girl really- deserved much better than Adrian fucking Ivashkov. It was all just frustrating.

'Arguing... Were you- were you listening to that? Yesterday, were you- What the hell, isn't there privacy anymore?' I shrug and wait for her to come out with some kind of snarky angry rant to scream at me, but she doesn't.

'You two were right there in the middle of the quad, I'm sure a lot of people heard you...' Nice one Dimitri, I thought to myself.

'Yeah, cause there's so many people who hang out in the quad after school. You like listening to other people's private conversations? What are you a tutor and spy on the side or something?' I swallow my own retort and look down to the table in attempt to avoid her eyes as I hesitantly ask my next question.

'I just... I don't get why you're with someone like him. Why you waste your time with some guy who only cares about himself... Is that like your type, assholes?' Her glare is deadly and sinks right into me. I swallow deep and avert my eyes for a few seconds, waiting for her to say something.

'Why do you even care?' She asks with her eyes burning into my own, her voice a little calmer. The silence was intense and lingered as I went through all the answers I could come up with in my head. She sighs and pushes the book out into the middle of the table, then reaches for her notepad in her pack to write in. 'I get it, you don't like him, but you have no right questioning or listening to our conversations. The least you could do is apologize and go back to helping me.'

'I just wanted to know what it is you see in him. What any girl would see in him, he's kind of conceded and spoiled. How is that appealing to girls like you?' I should really just stop talking.

'Girls like me? What's that supposed to mean?' I shrug as my hand runs through my hair and to the back of my neck. I was pushing it, but I couldn't stop myself.

'Girls that, you know, like all that stuff... The money and the reputation that comes with hanging out with people like that... and being with guys like Adrian. I mean you're a beautiful girl, why waste your time on some ingrate like him?'

There was a certain look in her eyes, they widened as I stood silent and anticipated her answer. Her eyes stayed on me for what seemed like the longest minute in the world, until something flashed in them and she looked back to the book before speaking.

'You wouldn't understand.'

And that was it. All that I needed to know about her and Ivashkov, in her mind anyway. It wasn't close to enough for me, but it was all I needed to go ahead and tell her about him picking up my sister last night, and then bringing her home completely wasted this morning.

'It's just... I don't know. You- you don't seem like the type of person who would stand for that. I don't know though, maybe I'm wrong... Maybe if you explained it to me I would-'

'Maybe you are wrong and maybe you should just drop it. You wouldn't understand, it's just the way things are.' Yeah, but it didn't have to be. Just as I was preparing to tell her about last night, a sudden voice sounded followed by small footsteps through the aisle of books.

'Rose!'

**.R.**

'It's just that my dad called and he wants to me to meet with this college guy and you know; I can't tell my dad no. I'm really sorry though, I just didn't want to leave her out there and then just take off-'

I nod at Lissa's rambling still in slight surprise of what Dimitri had just asked me. I couldn't believe it at first, it was like he was investigating me or something. Like it was really that hard to believe Adrian and I were together. Well, okay, he kind of had a point, but he didn't understand what I did.

'I'm so sorry, Rose, I'll see you though. I have to go my dad's going to pick me up, see ya Mer!' Liss shouts as she exits the library and leaves Meredith standing there holding her bright pink back pack. I get up from my seat and guide Meredith over to the chair next to mine as she looks to Dimitri in curiosity. 'You don't mind do you, just for today...'

He gestures its okay with a nod of his head and I set up Mer to color so I could get back to work. Its a few silent minutes as I keep working out of the book and Mer keeps coloring. Her eyes keep going back and forth to Dimitri then to her book. She turns a few times in the rolling chair and at that discovery, she stops coloring all together.

A few half turns in the chair and I let it slide, knowing how bored she was, I could at least let her enjoy the chair. Then it gets faster and then she discovers suddenly stopping the chair using the table as a break. She moves the table a few times and I give her a look, of course, Mer ignores it. Then she goes into full turns, full fast turns and even uses the table for leverage.

I reach out before she can push off the table for another high speed and potentially dangerous spin of the chair. I grab her tiny hand and she looks to me innocently as I don't have to explain I want her to stop with only a look. I go back to work, but I can see from the corner of my eye the moment she sticks her tongue out at me.

'Really, Mer? What are you five?'

'Yeah' I can tell she's fighting off one of her wide smiles, but also spot Dimitri hide his with his hands.

'Smart ass.' Mer only smiles as I look back to my paper and just before I start writing, I hear her tiny voice sneak out.

'I learn from the best, Roses.' That causes her wide cute smile and a flat out laugh from Dimitri. I look at him and glare as if telling him he wasn't helping. He just shrugs and I go back to work.

'Do you like to read, Meredith?' His smooth velvet voice sounded out of the quiet.

'Yeah, Roses reads me Juny B. Jones sometimes before bed. It's my favorite.' Dimitri nods and then reaches for his back pack. I keep my head down toward my paper, but watch them both as they interact.

'When I was about your age my mother used to bring home Calvin and Hobbs books from the doctor's office she worked at. I used to read them to my sister...'

He pulls out a book of Calvin and Hobbs collection and opens it, sliding it toward Meredith. It was a little weird for me to see how easy it was for him to make conversation with her. Usually Meredith was quiet and a little shy toward people she didn't know, but with Dimitri she was anything but.

'I like this one, I think I've read it about a hundred times, but it always makes me smile.'

'Hey that's the guy that pees on everything! Look Roses!' She takes the book from him and shows me the page of comic strip with Calvin and Hobbs the tiger.

I nod and smile toward her as she places the book back on the table and goes through the pages asking Dimitri to read her certain ones. To my surprise he does and as distracting as they were getting along, I couldn't help but like the sound of his voice as he read the comic strips aloud to Meredith.

It went on like that for a while. He would read whatever comic strip she pointed out or he would have her read some of his favorite ones. It was endearing. How he took up her attention so I could finish my work. How good he was with her and how much she smiled and laughed as they read along. He asked her questions about things she liked and she showed him all the drawings she did in class and explained the many reasons why pink was the best color ever.

It was actually fun watching them and it made me realize how Adrian would never do anything like this. Or Hans. I didn't want to say Dimitri looked like a father figure to Meredith, no, he looked like her friend. Someone who just wanted her to have a good time while she was stuck in some humid library waiting for her sister to finish her school work. He was sometimes annoying and always used big words when he spoke, but he was kind and for once in a long time; I didn't have to worry about Meredith. That small relief felt a million times great.

**...**

'I like Dimitri; he's a lot nicer than that other one.' I roll my eyes at Mer and follow after her as we walk home. She could not stop gushing about how much fun the library was and how come I didn't take her in there the first time.

'Yeah.' She nods and continues to skip stepping on cracks in the cement for reasons unknown to me.

'And he smells really good.' I laugh and shake my head at her.

She was right of course, he did smell good. He smelled like some kind of aftershave and leather oddly. He was also kind of frustrating me though, with his questions about me and Adrian, and his listening in on us. Then I think about him with Meredith back in the library. How comfortable he made her and how she smiled with pure joy. He was strange to me, but not in the weirdo kind of way. I couldn't really explain it and the thought of it just confused me more. However, it kind made me curious about him and what he was about.

Then there was that whole speech on how I shouldn't put up with Adrian and asking me to explain our relationship to him. What did he want to know? Why did he want to know anything? I didn't get it, but it certainly got me thinking.

**Thanks for reading. Next chapter will be up soon (:**


	8. Chapter 8

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 8:** With scarves of red tied round their throats.

'You have been forwarded to voicemail-' The sigh I release is tired and defeated. I throw my phone to my bed as I step out of my room and back into Mer's to tell her goodnight.

I've been calling Adrian all fucking day, but no answer or I get pushed to voicemail. It was frustrating and everything I've been thinking about lately has only added to that feeling. Dimitri's words turn in my head like an echo. It's like he figured it out by just watching me, but I couldn't let him know that. I don't know how he did it, he was just guessing, but I couldn't be weak because he guessed right. This is why I wanted to talk to Adrian.

I just wanted to see if all I was thinking about was worth questioning. Adrian and I have been together so long, even though it feels like we're miles apart, it was what I had to do. I thought for the longest time that this was the person I wanted to be, but I was tired and things at home haven't been helping any lately. If I'm honest things with Adrian have never been what they should. We were just as lost as everyone else, but we were convenient. Now with everything going on and life becoming one bigger mess than usual, convenience was unfortunately the last thing on my mind.

'All ready for bed, Mer bear?' She nods and rolls around her bed to get comfortable as I pick up the last few toys around her room.

'Are you okay, Roses? You look mad...' I sit next to her on the bed and release a deep sigh from within. The thing about Mer that I loved was that she was so curious, sometimes a little too curious.

'I'm not mad, just... I don't know, confused.' Mer frowns and in this moment looks more like Janine than ever. I half smile so she knows not to worry about me, but it doesn't stop the questions.

'Why are you confused? Is it because mommy's gone again?' I shake my head no and move some hair from her face as she yawns waiting for my answer.

'No, mom comes and goes, you know that.' She nods and moves under the blankets getting comfortable again. I smile and laugh at her. 'Why do you move around so much, huh?'

With a giggle and shrug from Meredith, we hear the front door open and slam closed letting us both know that Janine's home and not in the best of moods. Meredith's eyes flash worry and I can't help as the frustration grows. I tell Mer goodnight and to get some sleep to try and ease her mind, but the moment I close the door to her room and spot Janine a few feet away, all ease is gone.

I turn off the light in the hallway and walk trying to ignore my mother as I step into the kitchen. I was almost there too except something had caught my eye. It was known that Hans and my mother had their disagreements and argued, but he had never taken to hurting her physically. Well, until now I guess.

'What is that?' I question from my spot between the living room and kitchen, watching as she tries to keep her face hidden from me with her hair.

I wasn't stupid; I had seen it as soon as I got close to her. She fidgets with her uncombed hair and shakes her head signaling it was nothing. I sigh once again this time in annoyance and then I make my way to the kitchen to get an ice pack. If she wasn't going to tell me willingly, then I'd just try and make her. She snatches it from my hand and plops herself on the couch with a sneering glare.

'What happened to you?' I question, folding my arms across my chest and waiting for her pathetic excuse. She looks at me and then focuses back on the television not answering me. 'Is that why he hit you, because you ignore people when their talking to you?'

'I've had enough shit for one night; I don't need any from you, Rosemarie.' I hated when she called me by my full name and she knew it. I roll my eyes and finish cleaning the living room of mine and Meredith's things. 'Where's my little bear?'

'She's asleep; she has school in the morning so keep the noise down.' My mother has always called Meredith her little bear. The few times she was talking out of her ass completely drunk, I had the honor of getting a nickname too; the other one. I think I liked the nicknames better than when she would brag about us though.

I make my way back to the kitchen and clean up our mess from dinner. A few minutes later I hear her footsteps behind me as I was washing dishes. That was when that feeling of something bad happening settled in. I hated that feeling, I've only ever felt it when my mother was drunk or Hans was around. However, this time something told me I wouldn't be expecting whatever bad thing this was. I kept my back to her as I listen to her footsteps pass me in the kitchen. I was silently praying she wouldn't wake up Meredith with any noise because we had a long day and Mer was tired. Of course, I had to be wrong and cringe at the sound of Meredith's creaky door opening.

'Little bear... Meredith, wake up...' With a frustrated sigh I slam the sponge into the sink full of dishwater not caring about the splashes all over my shirt and turn to step into the hallway. 'Meredith, wake up.'

I watch as my mother creeps into Meredith's bright pink room and listen as she talks so sweetly for Mer to wake up. I silently and quickly follow her in and just as she's about to touch Mer's shoulder, I grab her arm and drag her out of the room. I pull her all the way to the living room after closing the door and that's when I get the full view of Janine's eye.

It was gross, huge, and almost swollen shut. I felt myself almost gasp at the vision of it, but instead glared as she covered it up with the ice pack. Our eyes met and in hers was a flash of embarrassment and then quickly back to that uncaring sneer. I move in front of her as she tries to pass me and grab her arm to keep her from escaping this.

'What happen?' I demand with a firm tone of voice. All my mother does is pull back her arm and then look me up and down as if questioning to tell me or not.

'None of your business, Rosemarie, now move! I want to see my little bear.' She once again tries to pass me, but I find her arm again and grasp it tightly.

'I just told you she was asleep, leave her alone and tell me what happen.' Her sneer deepens as she tries to release her arm from me again.

'I told you little girl, nothing that concerns you! Now let me go before I-'

'Before you what, hit me like that asshole hit you?' Her eyes widen in surprise. I don't know if it's because what I just said or the fact that I actually said it.

'Rosemarie, I'm warning you to get the hell away from me before I make you!' I let her arm go and step to stand directly in front of her and smirk at the angry expression she was wearing.

'I'd like to see you try, old hag! You touch me and I'll make sure you never see Meredith again!' She glared at me with pure hatred in her eyes as I spoke.

I didn't care if I was pushing her or if my mouth was going to get me in a world of hurt. I wanted to know why that douche bag had hit my mom even though we didn't exactly get along. She was still my mother and I wasn't going to have Meredith questioning why our mother's eye was purple. I wasn't going to let Meredith think it was okay to let a man hit you, no; I was going to show my sister she deserved better than Janine and me.

'You can't do anything of that sort! You better close your mouth Rosemarie, before I close it for you!'

'Oh, you're talking big shit for someone who just got beat up by her idiotic boyfriend. What a great example you're setting for your daughters; get drunk, ignore your responsibilities and let your perverted asshole boyfriend hit you! Yeah, I hope I'm just like you when I grow up!'

'Your well on your way with that spoiled arrogant boy you use for his money!' Our voices I had noticed were getting louder and louder.

The one thing I didn't need happening was Meredith waking up and hearing us. She hated when I would get into it with Janine and would cry and beg me to apologize. I never did of course; I was too pissed off and stubborn. I wanted Janine to admit she was the wrong one here, not bite the bullet for Meredith's sake. Although, most of the time I wanted to. I would just tell Mer that I did apologize and everything was okay.

Somehow, this was a different case because Meredith wasn't the one interrupting our argument. The doorbell was and it did in seemingly perfect time, since I knew we were getting too loud and angry for Meredith. As I was about to snap back at my mother for throwing that in my face the bell rung again and our voices stopped, hers in slight fear and mine in complete confusion.

I swallowed my snarky comeback and reached the door in two steps, blocking my mother from the view. This was it; the unsuspecting bad feeling in my gut had truly taken me by surprise. At the door stood that tall lean frame, the dark shadow his light brown hair crafted over his face and those brown eyes that have done nothing but stick into my memory all day.

'Tutor?'

My voice wavered in confusion. His eyes were wide and all over my surprised face and I couldn't help but want to hide and run away. I struggled for words as he stood at the doorway of my house and kept his eyes all over me. _Speak Rose_, _talk say something_, _quit staring at him and open your mouth_. My mind chatted silently until I rid of the thoughts and finally found my voice. 'What-what are you doing here?'

He swallowed deeply and then his eyes shot behind me. A little hesitantly his eyes went back to me as I heard my mother's voice behind me. 'Who is it, Rosemarie?' I turn my head to look at her quickly before moving out of the door outside making Dimitri walk backward on to the porch.

We stayed quiet as I hoped he hadn't been standing there long enough to hear the argument with my mother. Unfortunately, as I saw his eyes once again go back to my front door behind me, I couldn't help but feel like that small ounce of hope had been squashed.

'What- uh- what are you doing here?' I stumbled out the question again as Dimitri's eyes focused back on mine.

'I-uh- I was wondering if you knew how to get ahold of Adrian?'

I'm sure the look on my face added to the shock of seeing him here, at my house, where I never wanted anyone to see. Also the shock of his question stumbled me too. _'Adrian?_ Adrian Ivashkov, Adrian?'

All he did was nod and then before I could get the question out he spoke. 'It's just, my mother is worried. We were expecting Viktoria home a while ago and we haven't heard from her. My mother is a little panicked and I've looked everywhere for her... I was hoping maybe you could help me locate her...'

_Locate, panicked, banter,_ he was like a talking dictionary or something. Then I had caught what he actually said and couldn't help but be confused even more. 'Wait, what does Adrian have to do with Viktoria not being gone?' He once again swallowed and looked away from me as he spoke.

'That's who I'm sure she took off with... her and Avery.' That just stumped me even more. It also let me know why Adrian seem to be avoiding me all this time. Something I had to get to the end of quickly.

'I think I know where they might be.'

**.D.**

It was starting to get cold out and the ocean breeze wasn't helping. This night seem to be an interesting one so far. The thoughts of where Viktoria was and what she doing surrounded my mind as Rose and I walked down the dock in search for the Ivashkov's dark sleek boat. I didn't let Rose know I had heard the argument with her mother before knocking on their door.

I didn't want her to be embarrassed or think I would have pity on her. I didn't know her life at home, but it wasn't what I thought it would be. Her house was small and from what I heard, not very kind. It reminded me of something my grandmother would say when we would hear our neighbors arguing; _people will always show their true selves when they feel they're in a safe place. _Somehow I think Rose is an exception.

'There it is...' I follow her gaze snapping out of my thoughts and spot the expensive looking boat.

'You're sure they're here?' Rose shrugs as we began walking to the end of the dock in anticipation.

'I'm pretty sure; Adrian loves this stupid boat and if their together like you said…' Her words had this slight tone in them, as if she knew something I didn't. I followed her onto the deck part of the boat and then we quietly tip toed to the door leading inside.

We could hear music, slow and low and I also smelled scented candles burning. My gut was telling me not let Rose open that door and to make sure I get Viktoria as far away from here as possible. The tension was thick and silent, and the feeling in my gut only seems to sink deeper as she opens the small door.

'What's going on?'

Silence. We were met with silence as the view of Adrian and Avery half naked on a couch came into sight. Rose's voice didn't falter in sadness or sound in despair, it was more; expectant. Adrian throws Avery off of him and stands up quick as ever. Once he makes a step toward Rose, she backs up at the same time.

'Rose, I was- I was trying to call you all day-'

'Really?' The word is spoken as low as ever, but we all understood the tone clear. Adrian once again takes a step toward Rose and on instinct I step in front of her.

'What the fuck are you doing here? Who the fuck is this Rose, your body guard or some shit?' I'm not a firm believer in violence, but at that moment I wanted nothing but to knock him on his ass. He was quick to get angry and try to change subjects.

'Where is Viktoria?' My question goes ignored as Adrian moves a step back but comes straight into Rose's view. She once again steps aside and I stand my ground in between them both.

'So what! What the hell is going on here Adrian? What are you doing, are you that desperate? _Avery?_' Avery shoots up from the couch with only a bra and underwear on and then smirks at Rose while walking to a door.

'You don't know shit, Rose! Okay, you don't fucking know shit, I told you! I fucking told you it was me or nothing-'

'And so what you go and fuck someone else because I didn't choose you over my own family?' Rose's voice had risen a little in volume and before Adrian could get out another stupid sentence Avery knocks on the door she was in front of, silencing us all.

'You might as well come out, Vik, your brother's here for you.' The snide smirk that releases itself on her face as she calmly walks back to the couch and plops down without a care in the world only adds to the aggravation I feel.

Viktoria slowly but surely opens the door and steps out of the restroom in her purple bikini and I sigh in disappointment at the dumbstruck look on her face. She avoids my eyes but looks around in a blank lost stare as I step closer to her.

'She's just hanging out with us is all. We weren't even doing anything, man, why the fuck are you guys even here?' Adrian shoots off as I glare at his stupid face while passing him to grab Viktoria.

'Leave me alone, Dimka, I'll go home when I'm good and ready to.' She says trying to convince either herself or me. I just grab her arm firmly and meet her unsure eyes, speaking in Russian so no one will understand.

'Get your clothes on and then out to the car! Are you stupid or something, Vika? You really want to stand here and tell me to leave you here so these people could take advantage of you? Get dressed and then we're leaving!' I release her arm as she glares at me and turns back around to the restroom slamming the door shut in her bratty anger.

'We weren't even doing anything... Rose? Rose, you know I've been wanting to spend time with you and everything, I just- you just never wanted to. I got to get what I need somehow, right? I mean I'm a man, Rose, you know-'

'Adrian, just shut up okay? It's over. It's done, it's been done we both know that.' He glares at her in anger and once again steps closer to her standing directly in her face since I had moved away.

'This is over? No. No, it's over when I say it is, when I say we're done then we're done. Not you!'

He gets into her face and on instinct I'm at her side in seconds. He looks to me, his neck craned a little because of my height and glares at me now. I can sense Rose's tired frustration when she speaks again and it makes me want to deck this asshole even more.

'Obviously you're done because you're fucking that thing over there... How long, Adrian? How long has this been going on?'

His eyes trail back and forth on her face before he answers, but it isn't his voice we hear. It's _hers_. 'Since junior year, he got tired of waiting for you to put out, so I stepped in. I'm surprised it took the both of you this long to finally realize you were going nowhere together... Or was it the benefits that were keeping you, Rose?'

The pure rage in Rose's eyes seems to direct itself straight into Avery's face and for a moment, I wanted to hit her too. Although, she had a point and it had also crossed my mind during the sessions with Rose. She liked the reputation and whatever came with being associated with Ivashkov. She liked the easy outs and benefits of being friends with those people, but why? What was so great about being their friend?

Adrian's smirk follows as Viktoria pulls the bathroom door open and gathers her things angrily. Avery rolls her eyes and Adrian stands in front of Rose smiling as she makes the connections in her head. He folds his arms over his chest and waits for Rose to speak. Once she looks at him the note of betrayal reflects itself in her eyes and I want nothing more than to take her right out of here.

'You two deserve each other... You're pathetic and sorry, and so am I for even looking at you in the first place. You know, you may be right Avery, but hey at least you don't have to sleep with anymore guys to get to the top. Go to hell the both of you.'

With that said I grab Viktoria and pull her ahead of me toward the exit of the boat. Avery laughs at Rose's words and then continues to sit on the couch uncaringly. Adrian on the other hand races to Rose's side and stops us before we get to move away.

'Your nothing, Rose. Nothing, you understand? I made you, you got that? All your fucking little friends were my friends first, I own you! I gave you that break from your shitty reality! Remember that you ungrateful bitch!'

I move to push him away from her but Rose interferes by grabbing my arm and stepping in front me. Anger set clear in her eyes and her words coming out vulnerable, which I had a feeling she hated to be. 'You are so fucked up, Adrian! What the hell did I ever do to you, huh?'

'It's not what you did, it's what you didn't do, Rose. Do you know me, you know my family? I don't need you or this shit! I wait for nobody dammit!'

'We had an understanding, Adrian, we had an-'

'A fucking agreement, Rose! A business deal, remember? This is all a part of the fucking game, Rose, and you lost! You're no one and you never will be! Go back to your alcoholic mommy and retarded sister, and fuck of-'

It was either her or me, I'm just glad it was her because if I had punched him he would be having a seizure right on this floor. The slap echoes in the boat as we all stand there stunned at Adrian's words and Rose's actions. Adrian just holds his cheek and glares as I grab Rose and push Viktoria out of the boat before anything escalates. We make our way up the dock to my mother's car in a hurry and silent as the night.

**.R.**

'I can't believe you, Vika. What the hell were you thinking about going off with those two? What's your problem, why are they so important to you?'

Viktoria is silent in the backseat as Dimitri drives back into town. I sat passenger very much in the same quiet state Viktoria was, but for different reasons.

'Answer me! Tell me why, you know how worried you had mama? She was about to call the hospital and police looking for you! She was practically in tears wondering where the hell you were...' Dimitri sighs tiredly as we get on the highway and I can't help but listen to his words as he lectures Viktoria.

'I don't get it, Viktoria; I don't understand your need to associate yourself with those idiots. I don't get it.' Viktoria just sighs annoyed as he keeps talking and I can't help but feel the truth to his words.

I went in to that boat expecting something similar to what we found. I didn't know it would be Avery and I didn't know it was going on for that long. I wasn't surprised though. In actuality, if I'm truly honest with myself; it was about time. Time for the real truth about me and Adrian to reveal itself because that's all it was. He was right; we were a deal. A way to escape my real life and not have to deal with it for a little while.

I never loved him and he never loved me, and that love that I thought we had for each other was just as fake as my persona at school. I didn't have to act like the world revolved around Adrian and my friends anymore. I didn't have to be the bitch everyone thought I was. I just thought that was what I had to do in order to avoid real life. Real life seems to be more real than ever now.

Now I was truly no one and come tomorrow at school it would be known by practically everyone. However, for the first time in my life I had slightly felt relief. For not having to pretend I was interested in the same things Adrian was, for not having to stress myself out over what lies I have to make up or where I was going to leave Meredith to go to around them. But there was also regret, mostly because now I was on the other side and I don't know what to expect.

'I was just trying to fit in, Dimka, okay?' Viktoria snaps me out of my mind and her wining voice causes Dimitri to roll his eyes at her.

'Fit in? You don't need to fit in with those people, Vika. Your better than that, you're better than them. Just being yourself is good enough for now-'

'Oh, don't feed me those wise after school specials, Dimka. I'm tired of it and I'm tired of you talking.' Dimitri shakes his head as we turn on an unfamiliar street and slow down some.

'You're too young for all that stupid nonsense, Viktoria.'

'Then what am I supposed to do, Dimka? Go hang out with my older geeky brother and his only two friends, behind some bookstore no one even goes to anymore? What kind of guy would go for that? What kind of guy would want to be with some loser who hangs of with her older brother?'

We pull up to a brick house with the porch light on and I spot an older lady sitting next to the door. She stands as we park, but Dimitri captures my attention as he turns to look at Viktoria in the backseat. His voice comes out a little softer and I watch as his eyes become sincere. The older sibling being responsible and trying to look out for the younger one.

'You're worried about all the wrong things, Viktoria. It's not all about guys and clothes, and who your friends with... It's about who you are and what kind of person you want to be. Your better than that, Vika, and I don't want to see you get hurt because of those fake people pretending to be your friends.'

Viktoria just sighs again and unbuckled her seat belt as the elder lady comes closer to the car and says something in Russian to Dimitri. He answers back and Viktoria gets out of the car and follows the old lady into the house. He starts the car again and shakes his head of all that happen before I speak.

'You don't have to drive me, I can walk from here. I'll take a bus or something.' He scoffs and shakes his head once again.

'If I let you walk, my grandmother will beat me with her broom for not making sure you got home okay.'

**...**

'Are you okay? I mean, you're not going to have a nervous breakdown before we get to your house, right?' I shake my head no and keep my eyes to the road as he drives. 'It's just I've never seen you this quiet before...' I turn to him in confusion and shrug.

'I'm quiet when I work and stuff. This is nothing new.' He nods but keeps his eyes to the road as well.

'I know, but you just caught your boyfriend cheating with one of your friends and possibly my little sister... you didn't even have a sarcastic come back for it. I'm a little worried...'

'No, I save all my sarcasm for you and the librarian. Adrian, well, he... he was just a waste of time.' I feel his eyes on me for a second before their back on the road again. The silence as we drove keeping me together as I wanted nothing more than this night to just end.

When we pull up to my house I don't move a muscle, staring at the small yellow house where a ton of more drama probably awaited me. I release a deep sigh and unbuckled my seatbelt slowly, not wanting to get in the house too quickly. There were sure more dramatic surprises waiting for me in there.

'Rose...' I turn to face him with my hand on the door handle, but slowly release it as I take in his serious expression. 'I-uh I have something to tell you...' He takes a deep breath before finally looking me in the eye and in his deep brown ones I see a little regret. Perfect, more bad news.

'That day in the library, when I asked you all those incredibly nosey questions… I was asking for a specific reason. The night before, Viktoria got picked up by Adrian and Avery at my house. That's how I knew they were together tonight...'

I take in his words and watch as slight guilt flashes in his eyes. He felt bad for not telling me Adrian was with Avery and his sister, and they were up to no good. What I didn't understand was, why? I knew what I had to do as soon as I came face to face with Adrian and I did it. No regrets, but the fact that even Dimitri knew somewhat of what was going on irked me.

'I tried to stop her from going with them, but she just left. Viktoria has a lot to learn about herself and about life, but what I'm trying to figure out is... well, if Adrian was like you said a waste of time. Then why were you with him all this time?'

I had asked myself that same question before everything happen tonight. I figured because he was a way to escape my home life and a way for me to live a little. However, the fact that I let it get to the point of trying so hard to keep Adrian happy was the thing that made me sad with myself. It was Dimitri's words however and the way he was with Meredith, and the fact that my mother was coming home beat up and drunk that lead me to realize what I had to do.

Tonight seem to kick something inside me off. Everything was so out of whack I didn't know fake from real. I was tired of the lies and avoidance, tired of pleasing someone who I thought understood what I wanted. The frustration of this whole thing only swirled and swirled in my mind. Then there were Dimitri's eyes and the words he told Viktoria not too long ago flashed in my mind. What kind of person did I want to be?

'I thought that that's what I wanted. I thought he would distract me from real life... and I could go for just a little... I thought I could go and forget all the bad shit that was waiting for me as soon as I got home.'

I didn't look at him as I said that last part. All I did was watch the night be silently still as I made this vulnerable confession to my tutor. He stood quiet for a few minutes and also looked out through the window of the car.

'Well, whatever it is waiting for you at home, it can't be as bad as being with Adrian or around people like that.' I smiled sadly at the thought of him trying to be nice to me.

He had no clue what was beyond that door. He didn't know what I deal with day in and day out. All he knew was that I wanted to avoid it at any cost, even if it is my pride and whatever else Adrian just destroyed. I sigh tiredly and open the door to the car, but before I step out Dimitri gently grabs my arm to stop me.

'It will be okay, Rose. If anything happens at school tomorrow, I'll be around...' I wanted to ask why he felt he needed to say that or do it, but I didn't. I just nodded and left the car, tired and empty.

**um... any thoughts? feel free to leave them in a review/comment (: next chapter is almost done and will be posted soonish. thanks for reading (;**


	9. Chapter 9

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 9:** But life goes on.

Thank god this week was almost over. I didn't know how much more I could handle. Viktoria wasn't speaking with me and when mama asked where I found her, the disappointment that set on her face when I told her almost made me want to yell at Viktoria all over again. I had also kept wondering how Rose was feeling today. I couldn't help but look for her around school and the few glimpses I caught let me know she didn't want to be bothered by anyone.

She looked tired and frustrated, a little lost and somewhat lonely. I had just hoped that when she came in today, I could at least keep her mind on the task at hand and away from all her troubles. There was so much tension in the air even Christian noticed, but when he asked me I just told him Viktoria was causing some stress. Eventually he would find out with all the gossip circling around.

I sigh as I wait for Rose to come in to our session. We only had about a week left of these and then we'd see if she made up enough work to make a passing grade. I hoped we did, maybe it will relieve some of the strain she seems to be carrying around.

'We can look for books later, Meredith; I have to finish my work first.' I heard them before I saw them and sure enough as they came into view, the tiredness radiated off of Rose.

I cleared my throat and released a breath in order to not seem like I was worried. I wanted this session to go as easy as it could. She didn't need me hovering further into her business.

'So what are we working on today?' She sounded as tired as she looked and I notice she hadn't called me tutor. I shrug and smile to Meredith as she sits in the chair closest to me.

'Hello Meredith, how are you today?' She shrugs and smiles sadly as she takes out her coloring crayons and book, then begins to quietly color.

'Um, I guess we could finish the last chapter in the textbook and then start on your author report. We only have next week and then our sessions could be over.' She nods and takes out her book and pencil as I wait for her to make eye contact with me, which she hasn't done at all.

The quiet and distant feeling takes over the long minutes we've been here. Meredith kept looking to Rose and then back to her book in slight wonder and worry. I also was looking to Rose to see if she would look back at me the few times I've spoken to help her, but she doesn't look up when answering me.

I wasn't quite used to how quiet she was being and I'm positive neither was Meredith. I let the quiet go on through and choose not to bother her, to let her just work.

'Roses, can we find some books now?' Meredith asks the question carefully as she looked to Rose with hope. Her blue eyes big and wide as she awaited Rose's answer. I couldn't help but feel for her, having to tip toe around someone's feelings, especially when it's someone I'm sure she looked up to.

Rose looks to Meredith and shakes her head no then Meredith looks back down to her book. I swallow my suggestion to help Meredith find a book and give Rose some space, but I wasn't sure what to do at the moment. I didn't know if she wanted us out of her way or if she needed the company.

The quiet covers us once again a little longer this time. Rose has been working non-stop and Meredith looks about ready to fall over in boredom. So I decide to step up a little and see if I can help either of them out.

'What kind of book were you looking for, Meredith? Her eyes light up at my question and she smiles widely reaching for her pink backpack. I turn my head to look at Rose and notice she was still focused in on her work. Meredith takes out a piece of construction paper and turns it to face me. I see a small green spot in the middle of the paper and then a big bright yellow sun on the upper left corner, I smile.

'I want to find a book about tortoises, like this one...' I take the paper from her and smile at her drawing. 'That's Henry, he's our class pet and every week, one student gets to take him home for a couple days. Next week it's my turn and I want to make sure I have everything he needs when he comes to stay with us. Roses said the library will have tons of books about it...'

I hand the paper back to her and nod confirming her thoughts. She excitedly begins putting her things away in her pack and then hops off of the chair to head into the isles of books a little away from us.

'Where are you going?' Rose's voice stops me from standing and Meredith from walking away. The tone in her voice firm and both me and Meredith were a little afraid to answer back.

'Dimitri is going to help me find books about tortoises... Remember you said there would be some here?' Rose blinks and sighs slightly annoyed, but then looks to me before turning back to Meredith and replying.

'Mer, I told you after I was done we would look, okay? I have to finish this first, sit down and leave Dimitri alone.'

'It's okay, I mean, I don't mind. You've been working pretty hard there; we don't want to disturb you...'

'You're supposed to be helping me and Meredith was already told to wait, she knows better.' The firm tone in Rose's voice was all Meredith needed to frown once again and walk right back to her chair.

I felt incredibly bad right now. I was the one who asked the little girl a question and now I had gotten her into trouble. I was also pretty weary of Rose's words. It was as if she wasn't looking for any kind of break or any kind of help for that matter. All it did was make me want to talk to her more, about whatever was bothering her or what I could do to help her. I know I should just let her be and do my job, but I had felt bad, not even Rose deserved what happen.

**.R.**

'I just wanted to look at the books, Roses, that's all.'

Usually when Meredith pouts or is sad, I do whatever in my power to make her smile and forget her troubles. This time it only frustrates me more. Adrian had called me last night, twice, but I didn't answer. I did however read the very impolite and obnoxious text he had sent me. It was all pretty much the same thing he had said on the boat.

How he and Avery had been screwing behind my back since forever. How he had wasted so much time with me that he would never get back, and how pathetic and sad my life was. I didn't reply. I just read it and became even more certain that I didn't want him or anyone else like him in my life. I don't know what I was thinking; I didn't deserve any of that.

I knew of course, I had set myself up for this. Giving into his ways and trying to please him any way I could to keep what I thought I wanted. Trying to be someone I'm not and surround myself with people who didn't care. Now all I wanted to do was get school over with and take care of Meredith. It was all I could handle at the moment. As soon as I walked onto campus all I received from my "friends" were feelings of avoidance. Distant.

'I told you Meredith, after I'm done with this.' I don't look up to her or Dimitri. I couldn't, I wasn't in the mood for anyone's pity and I wasn't trying to be questioned by Mer. I just wanted this to end.

'When you will you be done, Ro-'

'When I'm finished, Meredith!' Immediately I regret the tone of voice I had used, the words spilling from my mouth harshly. The flinch I see Meredith do when I finally look up to face her.

She cowers in her chair, her head down and my heart aching at the sight. I open my mouth to apologize but nothing comes out and it's quiet. Too quiet. I can feel his eyes on me, I'm sure in surprise as I've seem to surprise myself by snapping at Meredith. Which I never do. All I want to do is grab and hug her tightly, but I don't chance it.

He clears his throat and then slowly but gently reaches for Meredith's arm and squeezes it. 'Why don't you go ahead and look for those books, Meredith, they should be in the last isle over there.'

Dimitri points over to the last isle of shelves and Meredith quietly leaves her chair and avoids me. I watch as she walks with her head down and my heart sinks even further. 'Are you okay?'

It takes me a minute to comprehend that he's talking to me. When our eyes meet the concern is plain to see and I have to shake myself out of the capture it seems to have on me.

'I'm fine.' It sounded so hollow. So empty. I wasn't sure if I was trying to convince him or myself.

Dimitri leans in across the table and his hand reaches out for my own. I feel the warmth of his hand on my knuckles, the calloused gentleness of his fingers and I can't avoid to not looking at him. His eyes switch from concern to worry in a flash and I can't help but feel the need to pull away.

'I'm fine, okay.' He still watches me.

'You know, If you- if you need to talk, you can talk to m-'

'I don't need your pity, okay? I said I'm fine and I am, so leave it alone.' I move my eyes away from him and try to focus back on the book in front of me, but he's still watching.

I even feel him watching me when Meredith returns with a book too big for her to carry, so he helps her bring it to the table. They flip through the book quietly and whisper a few words to each other I barely catch. Meredith doesn't look at me for the rest of the session. She barely walks near me on the way home.

**...**

Yesterday was almost as bad as Wednesday. Okay, maybe worse, I'd rather have my little sister speaking to me than Adrian and all his stupid friends smirking at me smugly when I walk by. There's been talk around school since the night Dimitri and I caught those three dumb asses on the docks. Mia avoided me as I walked into our morning class and the whole cheer squad pretended I didn't exist.

I have no problem with that. I'll be invisible if it means I don't have to pretend anymore. I was fine with the way things were going, except with Lissa. I had expected her to be there since she was my best friend, but I guess that wasn't even real. I caught her a few minutes ago and thought we'd eat lunch together and I could get some stress off by talking to her. She just made some excuse about not feeling good, so she had to leave campus early.

So here I am a tray full of food and sitting at a table by the door; alone. Or so I had thought. I can smell him before he appears and the next thing I know he's sitting across from me. His jaw muscles flex as he takes a big bite of his pizza and then slaps it back on the tray before wiping his mouth with his long fingers. I stare in disbelief that he's actually here, sitting, like we're friends.

'Is there something you need, tutor?' He smiles slightly before taking another bite and doesn't look at me.

'So we're back to that now? You went all day yesterday not even mentioning it.' When he does look at me I have to look away, quickly as his eyes somehow keep drawing me in.

'I had some things on my mind. My sarcasm has to refuel at some point.' He smiles once again and this time it reaches his eyes. They crinkle a little and I watch in awe at the movement of his face.

'I won't lie I did kind of miss it. How is Meredith?' At the mention of her, I look around the cafeteria and hate myself a little more.

'She's upset with me... I'm upset with myself. I should've been more patient with her.'

He shrugs and as he drinks his bottled water, I find myself staring at his throat moving up and down. My curiosity with his facial expressions and movements starts bugging me, so I go back to staring down at my food. 'You had a lot on your mind, it's understandable. I'm sure she will forgive you in no time.'

'What makes you say that?' He shrugs again and looks off to the cafeteria while I fight to not catch another glimpse of him. God, he smelled good. _Dammit Rose._

'I have a feeling. You're her older sister, she looks up to you and you take care of her.' At that last part I flinch and for a second, I feel exposed.

How did he know that? How does he keep guessing right about things I don't tell anyone? And what the hell is he wearing that makes him smell so good? I shake my head at the thoughts and think nothing of it. He only meant that I take care of her in the library, in front of him. He has no clue I'm all she's got to rely on.

'I see thing one and thing two have gone public now...' I turn my head to where he's staring and see Avery and Adrian hanging all over each other.

I watch a little as she hangs on him like some brainless monkey on a tree. It sickens me, it makes me roll my eyes and turn back to my food. The way they stood there with their disgusting display of touching each other and kissing each other, and ew I just want to vomit.

'I'm still available if you want to talk. You shouldn't keep things bottled up like that; it could cause a lot of unnecessary stress in your life.' I already have stress in my life, what's some more. I say nothing though and just try to change the subject with that snarky demeanor.

'What are you my shrink now? Why aren't you eating with your friends?'

He shrugs once again and finishes off his pizza. I watch as he chews away. I think I have a serious problem or maybe I'm looking to distract my mind from all the bullshit floating around in there. 'I was just trying to be of some assistance. I didn't mean to pry or upset you further.' Again with the Shakespeare talk.

'Do you always use big words like that? Is that some kind of ego boost for you or something?' He smirks.

'Ego boost?' I nod and decide to finish some of cold fries to try and distract my wondering eyes.

'Yeah, you know, to show people you're so smart and you know all these big words. It's a real turn off, you know? It makes you seem arrogant.'

'I suppose it does to someone like you. If you're not insulting someone, you're either making fun of them or snapping at them.' And then the gloves come off, I guess round three is in.

He clears his throat when my glare snaps to him and then swallows as he slowly meets my eyes. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I was just trying to-'

'Get back at me, it's okay, I deserve it.' I say as the tension begins to calm between us.

'No, you don't. You're just frustrated and tired, and maybe a little pissed off.' I watch in curiosity as he licks his lips and takes a breath to finish what he has to say. 'Look, Rose, I know you're going through some things right now. It's okay to be angry and frustrated, and everything else that you're feeling. I just- I just want you to know that you don't have to deal with this on your own.'

'I mean, my fifteen year old sister was on some stupid looking boat half naked with another girl and some idiot... I understand the betrayal, the hurt and everything else, but you're better than that, you're worth more than some asshole who sleeps around because you're not ready for things that he is... You're a lady and so you should be treated as one.'

He was right, of course, but I didn't feel that way. I didn't feel like a lady when I think back and remember all the times and things I did because I wanted what being with Adrian provided. I felt small, here's some great looking and sweet guy that sees me in this certain light. And here I am, hoping I could just fade away from all the trouble and drama.

'Why are you being so nice to me? Do you feel sorry for me or something because I don't need that? I don't need your pity and I don't want it. You may think your being righteous and helpful, but you don't even know me.'

He sits there for a short second quietly before nodding. His eyes concentrate on his lunch tray as he packs up his trash and rises from the table. Once he's got his long legs out from under the bench, he leans down on the table close to my face and I could feel his breath as he speaks.

'Your right about that, but I don't pity you. I envy you, Rose.' I look up when I catch that last word and his eyes have pulled me in once again. _Envy?_

'You didn't let them win. The session is canceled for today, I have to work early. I'll see you.' After that he leaves and I sit there stunned at what I just heard.

He sounded crazy, I'll admit it. How did he envy me when I didn't even do anything? I didn't understand what he meant. I was humiliated by someone I thought I could trust, my best friend pretty much ditched me when I needed her and I made Meredith sad. What was there to envy?

**.D.**

****It was almost dark and I had about an hour until I had to close. Christian was supposed to meet me and we were going to skate again. I needed the distraction to clear my mind and get away from the scrutinizing eyes of my sister. The day was long and quiet, and for some reason this silence was unenjoyably. A first for me.

The store was practically empty except for an elder lady flipping through gardening books. I sigh as I sit at the register and continue to think about everything that went on. How could Viktoria let those self-centered people influence her like that? I didn't know what she was planning on doing with them and I didn't want to, but I did want to prevent it from happening again.

The bell of the door sounds as someone walks into the shop. I stand from my stool and step closer to the register to ask if they needed any help. I'm a little surprised at the faces I meet.

'Hi Dimitri!' Meredith says as she runs off into the children's section of the store and Rose stands a ways from the register.

'Hello Meredith Rose.' She smiles sadly at me before looking off into the distance where Meredith was flipping through book after book. 'I didn't think I'd ever see you in here.' She laughs low as I come around out of the register area and stand beside her. We watch as Meredith switches from book to book on the shelf and I hear Rose sigh.

'I wanted to make up for yesterday, so thought I'd bring her here and look around for a while.'

I nod and keep my eyes on Meredith as I feel Rose hesitate with her next words. I wait as she looks to me through the corner of her eye still debating of what she wants to say next. 'Do you- Is it okay, if we hang out here for a while? I mean, you won't- you won't get in trouble or anything?'

I shake my head no and slowly turn to her and watch as she searches for my answer. 'You can hang out here as long as you like.'

She nods bashfully before looking back to Meredith and releasing a sigh of what sounded like relief. 'So buying your little sisters forgiveness, huh?'

A full on smile graces her face and I can't help but return one of my own. 'Hey, there are plenty of Juny B. Jones books in the world. I figure that's just enough for every time I screw up. It's a win win.'

'Actually there's only about eighty of them, so, you should probably get her into other books.' She laughs aloud and the sound brings me to watch as finally; there's some sign of joy in her.


	10. Chapter 10

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 10:** It's all in a glance, you'll see.

'Here you go and have a nice evening.'

The elder lady nods at Dimitri's kind words and then heads for the door leaving. I watch as she carries the bag of books across the street and then gets in to her boat like car. Meredith sits on the floor in the middle of the children's section and reads from the stack of books piled up next to her.

I smile to myself at the thought of seeing Dimitri like that. Somewhere next to piles of books content in his own little world. It made me curious. 'You must really like reading to work at a bookstore.'

He smirks as he begins putting things away and nods. 'Yeah, I got lucky they were hiring. Wait, are you making fun of me?'

I smile and then shake my head at his question. 'No. No, I was just picturing you where Mer is... Sitting in the middle of piles of books, trapped in your own little world. No one or nothing to make you feel inferior to it.'

'Did you just say inferior? I'm impressed maybe my ego boosting habits are rubbing off on you.' We laugh and he continues to clean as I watch him move across the floor quickly and gracefully.

I let my eyes roam back to where Meredith is sitting completely engrossed in Where the Wild Things Are. It brings more curiosity to my mind and Dimitri's words to me as he left the cafeteria earlier surround my thoughts. 'What did you mean?' He looks to me in slight confusion as I work up some more courage to finish my question. 'In the cafeteria, when you sat with me... What you said about envying me. What did you mean by that?'

He shrugged as he cleared the table top next to the register and the silence added with my curiosity seem to make his answer that much more anticipated. He didn't look at me when he finally answered though, but every word he said seem to make me a little more forgiving of myself.

'I just meant, you know, that you not letting Adrian and his friends get to you was good. I mean the guy did what he did to you and said all those horrid things. Yet, you still came to school the next day, walking around with your head up even though a good portion of people there already knew what happen the night before.' With a slight shrug he spoke again and all I could do was listen.

'I don't know, I envy that. You were brave and smart enough to walk away. Not a lot of people would have acted the way you did after something like that.' He was right and it made me feel a little bit better about myself, but he also sounded like he was speaking from experience.

'So who wasn't so brave? Was it- was it you?' He shook his head no and then closed the register door to face me this time.

'I just know someone who had to learn how to be strong the hard way is all.'

'Who?' My curiosity sparked up another level as his eyes stayed blank and he smiled sadly to me.

'I promised them I'd keep their secret. Sorry.'

I shook my head to let him know it wasn't a problem. 'No, don't be sorry. I mean that's a good thing. It's hard to find loyalty in a lot of people these days.' I didn't want to get to into things. I figured I could keep at a distance and we would keep things between light. That's all I could handle at the moment.

**...**

'I like a lot of everything actually, some rock, some eighties and country music.'

'Did you just say eighties and country music?' He nods and looks to me with a blank expression, as if what he just said was normal. 'Are you joking right now? Like is this one of those; oh you should've seen the look on your face jokes?'

'No. What's wrong with country music?' I'm pretty sure the flabbergasted "are you fucking kidding me" look on my face told him just about everything that was wrong with countr- ew I can't even finish the word.

He laughs loudly in the cool silence of the night as we walk along the street back home. The bookstore had to close some time and Dimitri offered to walk me and Meredith home to make sure we got there okay. And most likely to avoid his grandmother's broom.

'Well, what about you? What kind music do you listen to that makes you too cool to like country music?'

'A lot of too cool shit actually. I like different stuff, just not that pansy crap you listen to.' He laughs once again and for a second, I let the sound of it replay in my mind and find myself smiling at it. 'I like rock music, hip hop and some indie bands too. Um, Bob Marley, Weezer and Thrice, I love Thrice-'

'You like Thrice? I like Thrice, their Christian's favorite band actually; he's the one who got me into them.' As Meredith walked in front of us, completely in her own little space. I couldn't help but be stunned by what he was talking about.

'Wait, wait, wait, _you_ like Thrice? No way. No, you can't like country music and eighties music and then go and say you like Thrice. No, that's a bunch of poo.' He laughs once again and smiles bright as I find myself getting more comfortable around him.

It was weird, how relaxed and easy going things were between us right now. I liked it and I'm sure he did too since I wasn't being a smart ass with him or making things worse by giving him a hard time. We were just being ourselves and enjoying each other's company. I liked this, a lot.

'Actually, you know what, their playing not too far from here. I think the town is about an hour out, Christian and I were thinking about catching that show. Its tomorrow, if you want, you can- you can go with us...'

I turn looking to him as we walk down the dark street where my house would be coming up. His eyes showed a hopeful gleam and in my mind my immediate reaction was yes. Of course I wanted to go with him, but then that responsible part of my brain kicked in and I remembered; Meredith.

A few seconds of silence lingered between us as he waited for my answer and I noticed the moment his eyes had changed. The hopefulness was gone; his eyes went everywhere except on me and immediately another reaction to tell him something kicked in.

'It's not that I don't want to, it's just-'

'No, no, it's fine. I mean you- you don't have to go. I just thought, you know, since you liked the band you would want to go. But its okay, I mean-'

'No, see that's the thing, I do want to go.'

'You do... But?' We stopped walking about four houses down from mine and Meredith also was anticipating my reason for turning this down.

'But I have Meredith; it's a little hard for me to do things like that. You know, just take off with friends and stuff...'

Thankfully he nods quietly and I didn't have to go further into explanation. Then a second later we were taking our time walking down the four houses to my own. It was silent after that, the only noises sounding were ones of the night. That was until Meredith decided to talk.

'I can stay with Ms. Petrov, Roses, that way you can go on your date.'

It wasn't her mention or thoughtfulness that surprised me when she said that. No, that was kind of her and I was thankful she mentioned it. However, the thing that surprised me most -and I have to admit made this a little awkward- was when she called it a date. Was he asking me on a date? Was he thinking that it would be a date when he asked me? Where in the world did Meredith hear that word from anyway?

Dimitri clears his throat as we keep walking, not wanting to make the moment any more awkward than it already was. Although something was now bothering me. I did enjoy his company and we were having fun, but were we even friends yet? Dates, talking about music and Meredith actually nominating herself to stay with Alberta. It was all so... well, sudden.

I unlock our front door and Meredith shouted a goodnight to Dimitri as she ran in the house. I lingered in the doorway as Dimitri stood at the bottom of the porch stairs waiting for us to get in the house. I turn back to him and he nods at me smiling kindly before turning around and walking away. And I knew I had to stop him.

'Dimitri!'

He turns back and stops from dropping his skateboard on the road and waits as I jog to stand in front of him. Once I'm there he waits for me to speak and I find myself once again trapped in his eyes. How they gleam in the darkness and how earlier they showed hope when he was talking to me. He intrigued me, crap his habit of big words really is rubbing off on me.

'I'll go... with you, to the concert. If I'm still invited that is...'

He smiled, a big wide smile spread across his face and the squinting lines by his eyes showed again. I liked when he smiled, for some reason it made me want to smile. 'Okay. I'll pick you up tomorrow night, around six? The shows at seven it takes some time to get there.' I nod and with that he drops his board on the street and skates away. Shit, I have to find something to wear.

**.D.**

I was very much excited about today. I couldn't believe that she agreed to go with me or well with us. What was funny was when Meredith called it a date. I hadn't even thought of that when I asked Rose last night. I just thought it would be fun to take her out and get her mind off things.

Once I told Christian that she would be going with us, he was a little surprised, but supportive. And yes, even he thought it was a date. I didn't, well, okay I didn't want to. It wasn't that I didn't think Rose was pretty or that I didn't want to date her. It was more of if she would think of me as someone with the potential to be a date. She seems to have a very distinct type and I was far from it. So there was no point in getting my hopes up.

Even though there was the slightest part of me that wanted to get my hopes up. Last night as we spent time in the bookstore talking and laughing, and getting to know each other. I couldn't help but think that she was an amazing girl. She was a loving caring big sister and someone I felt pulled to. She was very vague and quiet about herself at some moments, but none the less; amazing.

'Dimka, please be careful tonight and don't forget to pick me up. I don't want to be waiting outside the hospital in the dark forever, please.'

'I know mama, by the time we get back it should be time to pick you up. I won't forget, I promise.' She smiles and fixes the collar on my shirt before leaving the bathroom.

I got lucky she was letting me use the car, tonight might not have happen if she said no. Christian thought he could drive down his block in reverse and ended up wrecking his old mustang into a telephone pole. So mama had saved the day.

'Dude, I can't believe you got _the_ Rose Hathaway to go out with you. That's fucking crazy sauce.' I look to him through the rearview mirror as he sits in the back and Jill in the passenger seat.

'Are you going to call her that all night? Hey, _the_ Rose Hathaway, can I get you a drink? Can you hook me up with your superficial materialistic airhead best friend, oh please _the_ Rose Hathaway?' Jill on the other hand wasn't so thrilled.

I just shake my head and laugh at their bickering. Just another outing with my best friends. Hopefully. We pull up to Rose's house and I spot her talking to a lady in the yard next door to her. I take a deep breath and release it, looking expectantly to my right for Jill to move.

She scoffs and shakes he head stubbornly. 'No way, Dimitri. Not going to happen, she can sit over there with dumb ass back there. I called shotgun.'

'Come on, Jillian; let his date sit next to him. Be polite and act like lady for once.' Jill glares at Christian as I clear my throat and unbuckled my seatbelt.

'It's not a date.'

'Then she will have no problem sitting in the backseat with that butthole!'

'Im not a butthole, you're a butthole, butthole.' I roll my eyes as they continue to argue and open the door to get out and get Rose.

'I'm going to go get my non-date and by the time I back, that seat -hopefully- will be empty and then we could get on with our lives. Okay?' I look to them both expectantly and as Christian nods, Jill folds her arms over her chest and avoids eye contact with me.

**...**

The car ride was as awkward as ever. Once I introduced Rose to Christian he smiled and they remembered they had biology together sophomore year. Then when I introduced Jill, well, that didn't go to well. Jill just stared at Rose with a blank expression and as Rose retreated her hand after Jill didn't shake it, I had a feeling we were in for a long night.

The ride was quiet except for Christian squealing like a little girl in the backseat for how excited he was to see the band. Rose would smile and talk when he mentioned his favorite songs and would sing some of them quite terribly. Once we parked and started walking into the venue, Rose and I ended up a little behind Christian and Jill.

'I don't think your friend likes me too much.' I smirk and lean down to whisper so Jill didn't hear us.

'I think it's mostly because she thinks your competition, you know, for Christian.' She laughs and nudges me lightly as we continue to walk to the doors.

'That's funny because I thought I was your date, but hey, if he's available I don't mind a challenge.' She teases.

I stop in place as she keeps walking in front of me but turns back to smile that flirty smile I hadn't seen since the first time we met in the library. I shake my head as I run a little to catch up to her and bump her back as she laughs. I don't miss the knowing look Christian throws me before we get to the line to get inside the building.

'Is it me or do they argue like an old married couple?' I laugh and almost spit out my drink as Rose and I watch another epic argument Jill and Christian were having over the opening band.

'Don't let them hear you say that, they'll just argue over it.'

She laughs and I once again can't believe how beautiful she looks tonight. Her hair was down in soft waves and the white strapless blouse she wore captured more eyes than my own. The dark jeans she had on showed all her curves just right and I had to fight to keep my eyes above her neck.

'So how was Meredith tonight? I didn't see her when we picked you up.' She smiles at me in curiosity but her question confuses me a little.

'She's good. She's staying with our neighbor, Alberta, she keeps her busy.' I nod and take another drink from the cheap beer Christian somehow got us with his fake ID. 'You always ask about her, how come?'

This confuses me, only because I never thought anything of it. I just wanted to see how Meredith was and if they were okay. I didn't know why, but I had my concerns for Rose and her little sister. I shrug and decide to keep those reasons to myself. 'I don't know, isn't it the polite thing to do? Ask your friends about their family and things of that sort.' She smiles at me before answering.

'I guess so, but I wasn't sure we were even there yet, you know... friends.' I shrug and smile back to her and right before I was to reply, the lights dimmed and the crowd screamed as the band walked on stage.

The show was great, they played good song after good song and all four of us had completely left what happened in the car in the past. Christian even crowd surfed once or twice and Rose and I had to laugh as he fell on his face once security got a hold of him. Jill eventually came around, well, sort of after a while her and Rose would talk amongst themselves.

I couldn't help but want to make Rose laugh every now and then. We shared some sarcastic banter, made fun of the girls in front of us for being so drunk they couldn't even hold themselves up, and I even caught her singing out loud. She was enjoying herself and I was glad to have given her that before things go back to crap once we were at school.

'I love this song!' I nod at her in agreement. We had to kind of yell now that the band was playing since it was so loud.

The song they were playing had kind of a slow start, but it was also one of my favorites. I watch as Rose has her eyes on the stage, completely into the band and the singer's voice over the guitar and the slow drum beat. She mouths the words not singing them, but synced with the singers voice. Out of nowhere, she stops and smiles brightly.

'Why are you watching me, tutor?' _Tutor?_ Oh, shit! She catches me staring, but doesn't turn to look at me yet, so I shrug and keep my eyes to her.

'Did I tell you that you look absolutely beautiful tonight?'

This gets her to face me finally. Her smile drops but her eyes carry the same happiness in them as just a moment ago. She looks to me as she stands beside me and I watch as she shakes her head no.

'Well, you do. You look beautiful, Rose.' It was if she was watching me in astonishment. Why, I didn't know, but all that I did know was I had to tell her.

'No one's ever- you think I'm pretty?' With that astonished look clear in her eyes, I shake my head no.

'No, I said you're beautiful.'

'Dimitri-' Once I see her mouth open to talk, I take no time and move in to kiss her.

We kiss. Our lips moving together rhythmically and it takes me a short second to realize that, yes, she's kissing me back. I don't know what came over me or that I even wanted to kiss her. And right now, I don't care either. All I do is pull her closer to me, our bodies touching and spreading the heat of the kiss all over.

Her hands, her small delicate hands reach up from in between us and lightly touch my chin and jaw. They move slowly but carefully onto the back of my neck and into my hair. She tugs lightly and it just makes me pull her by the waist closer to me.

I don't hear the loud band playing in front of us anymore. I don't see or hear the crowd screaming their throats out around us. I don't even care where Christian and Jill are and if their arguing. All I can feel is Rose, like it's just the two of us, in the middle of this crowd; together.

**.R.**

His eyes, all I could picture were his eyes and the way he looked at me. He called me beautiful, not hot or sexy or anything else that substitutes the word just; beautiful. He just scored major cool points with me right now.

He holds my hand as we walk out of the venue and back to the car. Cristian and Jill silent as they walk with us. I know they want to say something, especially Christian. He's just walked out of the building where his favorite band had played and he has no thoughts? No favorite song or part they played? Just silence, he was squealing like a twelve year old girl on the way over here.

'Well, that was interesting.' Um, I may have spoken too soon. Dimitri grips my hand lightly as we break away to get into the car. Once we are in all you hear is seat belts buckling, doors slamming closed and of course; Christian. 'So, how was the first date? I'd ask if you got any, Belikov, but since we're still here, I'll hold that question for another time.' We hear him whisper an ouch as I catch Jill's arm retreating from Christian's and him wincing in pain.

The ride back into town was silent, except for a few moans of pain coming from Christian. Who kept getting hit by Jill just about every time he opened his mouth. I glance to Dimitri every once in a while and have to try to hold back my smile. I didn't know where this left us, but I couldn't help the joy I was feeling.

'Welp, I'll see you kiddies later. Be safe and use condoms- ow!' This time Jill kicks Christian and he ends up falling out of the car onto the dirty road in front of his house. I laugh a little as I catch Dimitri shaking his head.

'Ill see you at later, Dimitri, I'm going to walk from here.'

'Are you sure, it's dark, I can take you...' Jill shakes her head no and gets out of the car to stand by the driver side window.

'No, it's cool. Rose, I don't really know you, but if Dimitri thinks you're okay then I guess you're okay.' I smile kindly and nod at her in thanks.

'It was great getting to know you too, Jill.' I didn't really know what to say or do as she nods and leaves to help Christian up from the ground.

**...**

'I hope you don't mind waiting for a few minutes. My mother should be getting off soon.'

'No, it's fine. Wow, first date and I'm already meeting the parents, we're moving so fast.' He laughs as we park and become silent waiting in the hospital parking lot.

'Is this a date? Or was a date...' We look at each other for a few seconds before I shrug and we both end up laughing at his question. If I'm honest, it felt like a date, but did I want it to be? I don't even know.

'Whatever it was, I had a good time. I mean it, Dimitri, thank you for this. I kind of needed a break to relax and stuff, you know, with everything going on.' He nods and grips the steering wheel nervously before speaking.

'I'm happy that you enjoyed yourself, Rose. I um- I was wondering if maybe-'

'I'm sorry I'm late, son, I got caught up with a patient. I'm sorry to keep you waiting.' Our heads snap to the front of the car where a woman in a nurse's outfit walks toward us. Dimitri and I both get out of the car and he greets his mother with a hug, taking her bag from her and tossing it in the car. I walk over to the driver side and smile as she catches my eye and smiles right back.

I could tell it was his mother by her eyes. They were the same brown as Dimitri's and they both had the same slight Russian accent. Dimitri smiles at me and gestures for me to stand next to him. 'Mama, this is Rose, a friend of mine.' I place my hand out and she takes gently, giving a shake as firm and gentle at the same time.

'It's nice to meet you Mrs. Belikov.' She smiles kindly and waves a hand at me laughing.

'Please, Mrs., Belikov makes me sound like an old lady, call me Olena. It's lovely to meet you as well, Roza.' The name she called me was odd, but before I could ask anything about it Dimitri interrupted.

'You're okay to drive, mama? Roza and I were going to walk. If that's okay with you of course...'

The last part was asked towards me and all I could do was nod as the way he said that name kept sounding in my head. I liked it. It seems to roll right off his tongue perfectly. I had no chance fighting that smile, I even wore it as I turn back to Olena to say goodbye.

'Please, be careful son, you know I worry about you riding that thing so late at night.' Dimitri nodded as he got his skateboard out of the trunk of the car and handed the keys to his mother. 'Well it was great meeting you, Roza; I hope we'll see each other soon. Dimitri has never brought a girl home before; to be honest I was kind of worried.' I couldn't help but laugh as Dimitri turned slightly red.

'Roza? I've never heard that before.'

'Oh, I'm sorry; it's what we would call you in Russian. Sometimes I get the languages mixed up, so-'

'Oh, no, no I like it. I was just wondering is all. What's Dimitri's name in Russian?' At this, Dimitri look down in what looked to be embarrassment and I couldn't help the smile that left me as Olena explained.

'Well, we call him Dimka, its short for his name in our language. But he will always be my baby, right son.' At that, Olena grabs Dimitri's chin lovingly and squeezes it slightly.

I smile and try to hold back the booming laugh that's dying to come out. 'Okay, we're going to go now, mama. Please be careful, I'll be home after I walk Roza.'

**...**

'So your mom's a nurse?'

'Yeah, she has been since we moved here. I think I was like four or five when we came here.' We walk along the sidewalk for a few blocks.

The night air slightly chilled, the trees outline the road we walk down and the scent of Dimitri taking over my senses. I noticed the way he and his mother were around each other. They seem liked a close nit family and the way she joked around with him made me think about Janine.

We weren't like them, not by a long shot. Not even a little bit, there was no joking around or telling each other to be careful when we were leaving. There was no sign of love or concern in my mother's eyes the way it showed in Olena's. I was a little bit sad for that, but at least Meredith gets some kind of affection from our mother, even if it is such a small amount.

'What are you thinking about?' He asks as he reaches out and grabs my hand gently. I immediately feel the burn storming across my body like the kiss, but I still have a slight feeling to move away.

'Just stuff, Meredith mostly.' He nods and looks to the ground as our hands clasp and the feeling is nice. Sweet.

We walk a little before I forget the thoughts about my mother running through my head and change the subject. 'So, _Dimka_, you always take that skateboard everywhere with you?'

He nods after laughing at my use of his nickname and squeezes my hand again. 'You're not going to let that one go are you?'

'Not a chance.'

He shakes his at me before squeezing my hand once again and stopping me from my laughing fit. I feel his eyes on me as we slow our walking and eventually come to a stop in the middle of a street. There, in that moment, all I see his eyes again and we both lean in for another kiss.

**lucky you two chapters, you could return the love with some reviews, yes? thank yous (:**

**p.s. Thrice is a real band. just thought id share that (;**


	11. Chapter 11

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 11:** Honor what you love to no end.

It was odd how just thinking of one person could light up your day. How memories of what happen only days ago could keep a wide smile on your face and everything you try to do to hide it doesn't work. It was odd but I'll admit it was great. I don't remember being this happy about school or smiling away as I cleaned the mess my mother had all over the kitchen this morning. I was happy and nothing could take it away.

Except maybe everyone sitting at the table in the middle of the cafeteria, watching me as I stand with my lunch tray in search for a place to sit. Normally I would park at the table closest to the door and eat quickly, but it seems the chess club was meeting at said table. I sigh and begin walking at a turtles pace to find an empty spot. I could feel their eyes on me, Avery watches with a smug expression as she sits on Adrian's lap. It just aggravates me.

'Assholes.' I whisper to no one in particular and keep my pace.

'Hey, don't be too upset. I'm sure they didn't know you had reservations there, lucky for you I saved a spot over next to me.'

I could feel his breath near my ear as he stood behind me speaking and reached for my tray. His scent captures me in a slight haze of joy and I forget about everything else. When I turned to face him he smirked and looked toward the table he sat with me last week.

'Unless, of course you're a member of the club.' I smile and shake my head as his lips widen into a smile.

'I wasn't talking about them actually and I have no idea how to play chess.' Dimitri laughs and as he switches my lunch tray to his other hand and reaches with his other to grab my hand.

'Good because I was hoping you would have lunch with me. If you would like to?' He tugs my hand and starts walking to his table where Christian and Jill are sitting and talking.

I pull away before he gets too close remembering the not so polite stares of the center table. Dimitri turns to face me, curiosity clear in his eyes and I can feel their eyes on me as well. I felt I had to protect Dimitri from whatever Adrian and Avery were doing or going to do. They had only given me stupid looks and spread some dumb rumors, but I couldn't help to be cautious. You never knew with them. Letting go of Dimitri's hand and turning my head to their table discreetly, I barely glance at them as I hear Dimitri's voice.

'Roza?'

The way his voice lowers and shifts into that caring velvety tone draws my eyes right back to him and then I'm lost. He smiles as I snap my mind back from his gaze to what he was saying. 'What is wrong?'

I shrug and give one last glance to Adrian and Avery before taking a deep breath and capture those deep brown eyes again.

'I don't-um- They might see us together... and then- Look Dimitri, I want this to work but I know them. Okay, if they see you with me they'll just start trouble with you. I don't want that, you have nothing to do with this and it's not fair to drag you into it.'

He looked at me before moving his eyes carefully over to their table and then with a slight smirk he looked back to me. He shrugged once and then clasped my hand in his warm gentle one. 'Roza, I don't care what they think or what they do.' He moved our clasped hands up between us and then it was like he made sure everyone saw that we were holding hands. 'Come on and eat lunch with me.'

Who wouldn't want to eat lunch with him or off of him with the way he was looking at me. So I swallowed my fear and followed him to the table keeping our hands together as we sat down. As we settled ourselves, I tried to ignore the feeling of being watched.

'Whats up Rose? I could call you Rose, right?' Christian flinched as Jill elbows him and shakes her head. 'What was that for?'

'For asking stupid questions, what do you think?' Jill continues eating as I look to Dimitri and catch him rolling his eyes at them.

'It's fine, Rose works.' I smile at Christian as he smiles triumphantly at Jill.

'See I was just being polite, Jillian.' From then on lunch was actually great. I found out that Christian liked to talk, a lot and Jill had a negative remark for just about everything he said.

Dimitri only talked when he was asked a direct question but mostly talked to me quietly as the other two often broke out into argument. He sat as close as he could get to me. Our thighs touching and since he finished eating before me, I couldn't help the blush that escaped every time he looked at me with those endearing eyes.

I don't know exactly why but I felt so nervous around him. It wasn't a bad nervous, it was more of an exciting nervous. Exhilarating. A nervous I welcomed after a while of sitting there as his deep accented voice kept me laughing and smiling.

It wasn't until Christian was suddenly distracted from telling us his story about how he crashed his own car that lunch became eventful. 'And then, as I'm in reverse and I notice the road going crooked. I finally realize that maybe- um maybe this... wasn't such a... Hi!'

We all snap our gazes to him to see what's got his attention and it's then I notice someone behind me. I slowly turn my head and am surprised at the girl standing there. 'Liss?'

She smiles nervously and then throws a wave to Christian who seems to be stuck in some kind of daze. 'Hi. Um, Rose, can I talk to you for a sec? Outside?'

I turn back to the table and throw a side glance to Dimitri who says nothing, but smiles sadly leaving it up to me. I was very surprised at her being here but I knew it had to be important if she had sought me out. I release a breath and rise from the table touching Dimitri's shoulder in a soft gesture.

Following Lissa outside the cafeteria was quiet, until she decided we were far enough to talk. She turned to me and I waited for her to talk but she seems so unsure of herself. It was very unlike her.

'So you're hanging out with a new crowd these days, huh?'

I nod and look through the cafeteria building window as Christian had Dimitri laughing about something. 'Yeah, well, the old crowd turned out to be full of fakes and not so nice people.' Lissa just nodded and kept her head down in what seemed like shame. As if she understood my words and there hidden meaning.

'Rose, I owe you an apology. A really really big one.' To say I was shocked at her words was an understatement. She kept playing nervously with her fingers and then after a deep breath she finally looked up in confidence and spoke again.

'I'm sorry. So sorry for not being there like I should have. You're my best friend and I should've been by your side the whole time. It's just- it's just-' Liss took a few steps closer to me and her voice quieted. 'You know the way my dad is... I had to follow along and keep quiet or else I was going to get an ear full. Aaron had to tell his dad everything that happen at the party with the police. And my dad kept questioning me about it and after that whole thing with you, Adrian and Avery... I had to distance myself from everything going on. I mean everyone was saying different things... You understand right, Rose? You get why I have to keep my distance?'

To be honest I did. It was all about image with the Dragomir family, especially with her father. He owned half the town and had influence everywhere. Lissa was expected to act a certain way, befriend only those who she would benefit from and be someone she's not. I knew Lissa though and like me, in her own way, she was just playing the game. She was just far more trapped in it than I was.

I nodded. I understood exactly what she was saying and although it hurt that my best friend wasn't there for me, it would've hurt more if she had to suffer more. If we stayed friends I'm sure she would be a target as well and if I could keep her out, then I would. She was after all my best friend. So I just nodded and this time looked at Lissa in a different light.

'It's just that I really want Lehigh in the fall and my dad only agreed to it if I joined cheer and all these other stupid clubs and everything. It sucks you know?' Her eyes showed hopefulness that I would not be angry and I wasn't. Well not at her but definitely at the way things had to be now.

There were a lot of things I was keeping from Lissa anyway. Things I keep and felt I had to keep away because if any of them found out, it would be bad for sure. Unlike me she couldn't break away from the circle. She had to keep being this fake plastic person in order to please her father and get her chance to escape. Like me, Lissa was just doing what she felt she had to do.

'No I get it, Liss. It's fine. I know how much Lehigh means to you.' She smiles sadly and moves in for a hug, which I return half-heartedly.

'Thanks Rose, I knew you would understand.' I did. I just wish she was strong enough to find herself a better way out.

**...**

'So what does that mean exactly?' I shrug and push the huge book of Edgar Allen Poe poems to the middle of the table exasperated.

'I don't know. I mean, I'm sure it changes things between us now. Instead of cutting classes together to hang out in the hall, there will probably be subtle waves as we pass each other by.' Dimitri frowns and nods in understanding.

We were in the library supposed to be working on my author report, but I couldn't get the talk I had with Lissa out of my head. It made me realize how stupid I was being trying to fit in with those people. Though I understood where Lissa was coming from, it made me feel kind of sad for her and myself. No one should have to pretend to be someone there not in order to make other people happy. What was so wrong with being you?

I laughed bitterly capturing Dimitri's attention from where he was watching Meredith make a mess of the newspaper. 'What is it?'

'I was just thinking... I only agreed to a tutor to stay on the cheer squad and now I realize; I couldn't care less.'

He smirked and squeezed my shoulder gently. 'That's a shame; I was kind of looking forward to watching you jump around in that short skirt.' He smiled as I glared playfully at him, shaking my head.

'You cannot skate!' Meredith frowns before turning around and stepping on the old beat up skateboard with her small right foot.

'Yes, I can, Roses. Watch me!'

'No, you can't. You're going to hurt yourself, Mer and you need a helmet to skate with, you know?' I turn to glare at Dimitri as he walks next to me watching Meredith as she tries to push herself with the board. 'Did you know that? Did you know you need to skate with a helmet and pads and- you guys aren't even listening to me anymore!'

I throw my hands up tired of trying to get either of them to listen to reason. 'You know what; I'm just going to stop talking then.'

'Finally!'

Meredith replies while Dimitri tries to hold in a laugh as he turns to look at me before catching up to Meredith. 'Meredith! That was harsh. Geez, I was just looking out for you.'

Dimitri holds her up on the board and begins pushing her slowly down the sidewalk as we were on our way home. I watch as she laughs and he teaches her to push off the cement with her other foot.

'I'm sorry, Roses, but you have to let me try.' She says as Dimitri helps her back onto the board after she lost her footing.

'No, I don't. You could really hurt yourself on that thing, you know?'

'No, I won't, Dimitri will protect me, right?'

She looks up to him for confirmation as he holds her on the board nodding. 'Yes mam.'

'See? I'll be fine, Roses, just watch okay?' I give in and nod as she looks back to me quickly and he pushes her a little further down the sidewalk.

Once Mer gets the hang of pushing herself on the board, Dimitri and I follow slowly behind her giving her room to glide about. He was quiet and from what I could sense he wanted to say something but didn't know how. Or he was scared, I couldn't tell yet. Dimitri clears his throat and I watch as Meredith skates slowly ahead of us, waiting for him to finally speak.

'I um- I was hoping to ask you this earlier, actually I was going to in the car Saturday night but my mother kind of ruined the timing. Anyway, that's not important, I was hoping that maybe... you would want to-um-to go out with me... sometime... If you'd like...'

I smiled, but kept my eyes away from him. It was mostly because the way he was rambling and how cute he was when he blushed the whole time he spoke. Also because at the mention of getting to spend more time with him, I couldn't help my excitement.

'And I know you have Meredith, so I was thinking; you know maybe if you want she can come along with us. I remember you said it was difficult for you to do things like this and everything. So you don't have to worry about leaving her with someone, she can come with-'

'Yeah. Yes, I'd love to go out with you.'

We had come to a stop at my abrupt answer. I couldn't help it, the way he kept talking on and on, and the fact that he included Meredith made me want to jump at the chance. He was being thoughtful of her again. Usually I get invited somewhere and I panic at the thought of what I was going to do with her.

We face each other and he smiles that wonderful one I somehow always catch. Our eyes meet and stay on each other for a couple of lingering seconds. It felt like I could see everything in them and although it scared me, I liked it. I liked him. Dimitri was different, a good different and I found myself surprised at how much I enjoyed his company.

'Okay, so... me, you, Meredith and pizza?' I smile and nod to him as smiles right back. 'Okay.'

'Okay.' I smile and confirm but just as he about to turn back and walk on, I grab his arm to stop him. 'Come here.'

I don't really know what got into me. It could've been the happy state that Dimitri kept me in when he was around. Or I don't know what, but it didn't matter though. I had to kiss him again. It was too long since I felt his perfectly soft lips against mine. As I leaned into him he got the hint and quickly our lips met.

'I'm standing right here you know?'

We break away smiling as Meredith's voice breaks us out of the moment. 'We know.' I say a little annoyed with my younger sister and her awesome timing.

**...**

'Can I order bread sticks?'

'No.'

'How about cheese sticks?'

'No. How about you just be happy with the pizza I'm letting you eat?'

'Can I play the arcade games?'

'We'll see.'

'Does that mean yes?'

'It means we'll see. What is it with you and the million questions?'

'I didn't ask a _million _questions, I only asked four. What are you looking for, Roses?'

I stop pacing her room and look to her about ready to lose my mind since we were running late and Dimitri would be here any minute. 'Your other shoe, what do you think? Where did you last take it off?' Meredith points behind me and there, in wide open closet, is her black flat on the floor that I've pretty much turned the whole house upside down looking for.

I sigh in annoyance and the fact that I'm not even finished getting ready yet. 'You could've said something, you know?'

'You didn't ask.'

I give Meredith a look and shake my head as I hand her the shoe and she places it on. 'Are you nervous?' I shake my head no and go back to the closet to get her a sweater. 'Are you sure cause your acting really weird, Roses.'

'I'm not acting weird and I'm not nervous. Come on we need to comb your hair.'

In truth, I was a nervous wreck. I discovered this when Meredith and I set foot in front of the mirror in the restroom and I realized that her hair had already been combed.

I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. I didn't know why I was so nervous. All day I had this feeling in my gut where I just knew something wasn't right. The nervousness wasn't for Dimitri; in fact I knew it wasn't about him. I just had this feeling, a feeling of I'm not sure what. I just had a sense that something was going to happen and these last couple of days of happiness were about to come to an abrupt halt.

'Are you okay?' I nod and keep from looking to him. 'Are you sure, we don't have to do this tonight, if you don't want to?'

'No, I'm okay. It's just nerves I guess.' He nods and releases my hand to open the door of the pizza parlor for me and Meredith.

Once we're in the place there are people everywhere. The nervous feeling seem to dwindle a little bit as soon as I saw Dimitri at the other side of my front door. He had an idea that something was wrong though, he kept glancing at me as he drove us here. I held Meredith's hand as we walked deeper into the place and tried to forget all the worrying so we could enjoy tonight.

'There's a table over by the games.' I nod as Dimitri's hand is placed on my lower back and he guides us over to the table.

The place was packed as it usually was and I could tell Meredith was excited to be here. Her eyes lit up everywhere she looked and I couldn't help but smile at her eagerness to play. I liked it when she was happy; it made me happy as long as she was enjoyed herself.

'Do you want to go play?'

She nodded eagerly as I reached in the pocket of my blazer to give her money. I quickly discovered though Dimitri was already handing her coins for the games and I also noticed the change machine right next to us. 'Stay close, Meredith!'

I yell to her before she runs off and blends into the crowd of kids playing games. Dimitri sits across from me and smiles as it's just us two at the table. 'So?'

I smile and shake my head at him. 'So?'

'Do you think it's odd?' I frown at his question and wait for him to continue. 'You know, how at first you couldn't stand me and now I can't even walk down the street without you attacking me.'

We laugh and I blush at my earlier actions. 'Excuse me, I did not attack you and you kissed me back willingly.'

'True and just so you know, I am willingly available if you feel the need to _attack_ me again.'

I smile at him and shake my head looking out through the crowd to spot Meredith. 'You always worry this much?' I throw a quick look to Dimitri and shrug before looking back out to the floor to find Meredith.

'Someone has to, she's only five.'

I catch him nodding and then throw my focus back into finding Meredith. It's taking a little long to spot her through the crowd though. 'I don't see her...'

Dimitri moves his eyes to the games and then casually leans over so he's a couple inches from my face. I feel his breath on my skin as he talks and follow his finger when he points out Meredith's red hoodie. 'She's over by the pinball machines, see? In line for skee ball.' I sigh in relief as I see Meredith patiently waiting for an older girl to finish her game. 'She's fine, Roza, I can see her from where I'm sitting. Don't worry so much.'

I nod and look to him noticing how close he was. Slowly but surely he moves some of my hair from my face and it gives me chills with the way his eyes were intently looking at me. He smiled and then reached for my hand over the table.

'You look really beautiful tonight, certainly much too beautiful to be worried.' I smile and try not to blush too much.

'That was smooth; do you use that line often? I bet you get all the girls with that one.' He laughs shaking his head and our fingers begin playing together in the middle of the table.

'Do you have to ruin good moments? Is that a part of your charm or something?' I shrug innocently and he smiles once again.

I liked flirting with him. I like that he was so easy going about it and joked right back with me when I gave him a hard time. 'Yeah, right along with my sarcasm.' He laughs.

'Ah, well, you know I happen to adore your sarcasm. Except of course when you're angry. I don't like it so much then.' We laugh and I look toward Meredith once more to check up on her.

'You know, I never would've thought I would be sitting here, on a date, with you.'

'Really?' I nod and squeeze his hand reassuringly.

'You're different. A good different and I enjoy myself with you. That night at the concert, you know, that was the first time in a long time that I actually spent a whole night not worrying. Not even about Meredith, I wasn't worried about anything actually... I was just having fun.' I was being myself.

He smiled and raised our hands up to his lips to kiss my hand. 'Well, I'm glad you did and just so you know; I enjoyed myself as well.' I couldn't help but let out a loud laugh as his perfect vocabulary came out.

'No one our age really talks the way you do, do they?'

He gave me a perplexed expression. 'What do you mean? What's wrong with the way I talk?' I shrug and smile teasingly at him.

'I don't know you just like to use all these fancy words. Or words like: as well or certainly, willingly available. What is that? Are you trying to impress me with your vocabulary skills or something?'

'No, it's just the way I've always spoke.' He raises one eyebrow and then leans in toward me. 'Why is it working, are you impressed?'

'Not really. No.' We laugh at my teasing and he captures my attention with those trancing brown eyes again. I have to admit, he made me feel good, so I just decided to tell him. 'I like you.'

He smiled and in that moment it was the truth. I like that we could sit and talk and joke around like this. I like that he included Meredith and wasn't looking at her as a burden which was what I was afraid of. I also liked that around Dimitri, I could be myself. No fake persona because of what he didn't know the truth. No judging me or pressuring me or guilting me into doing things I didn't want to. He was himself, take or it leave it and in return you couldn't help but be yourself in return.

'I like you, Rose. I like you a lot actually.' He sighed relaxed. 'I know we're only getting to know each other right now, but I promise you. I promise you that you don't have to worry about anything. I would never hurt you or do anything to hurt you. I just want to see you happy.'

He was incredibly sweet too. Thoughtful and easy going, he made Meredith laugh most of the night. And he also had her approval which Meredith told me in secret when Dimitri went to use the restroom. So far it was a good night and I didn't know why I was so worried earlier.

'You really like olives, huh?' Dimitri asked her as she inhaled the folded slice of olive and pepperoni pizza. Meredith nods and with her mouth full of food she spoke.

'Yep, there muhlicious, you don like em?'

I smile as she talks with her mouth full and scoot a napkin across the table so she can clean herself. Dimitri shakes his head no and before answering her throws me a playful look.

'Not really, there muhscusting.'

Meredith's giggle causes us all to laugh at Dimitri's lame joke. Then suddenly Mer's eyes light up in even more excitement and I become curious as she points past me.

'Mommy!'

**...**

'Hello there girly's, enjoying your nice evening out?'

His voice sickens me. He smiles smugly and takes it upon himself to place a large pitcher of beer in the middle of our table before settling himself down right next to Meredith in the booth. Sniffling and then placing a huge cigar in his mouth he looks to me as he speaks. 'You don't mind if we join you, right Rosemarie?'

I freeze. The nervous tension in my body radiating throughout the room. I breathe deep and try to calm myself; suddenly that nervous sinking feeling came bursting back into me.

'What are you doing here, I thought you were home?' My mother sneers capturing my attention and I have no words.

No snarky come back or no immediate reply, just nothing. I panic. My throat constricting and my mind racing for something to say to her, to Hans, to Dimitri. My panicked eyes find Meredith's and she looks to me wide eyed and unknowing of what's happening.

'I-I- we were hungry, so...' This was so not happening.

Janine gives me an odd look and then her eyes move to Dimitri. He was sitting right next to me in the booth, he's arm over my shoulders and I was leaned into him. Hans was also looking to Dimitri, challenging him in a way. I swallow nervously and sit up straight making space between me and Dimitri.

'This- this is Dimitri-'

'He's Roses boyfriend.' My warning look to Meredith only makes things worse as I catch Hans smile in interest. My mother scoffs then slams her empty glass on the table. Hans smile turns smug as he refills her glass and then proceeds to chew on his unlit cigar.

'Another one, Rose?' My eyes close in slight shame and embarrassment.

My mother's comment slamming me back into the moment of my unfortunate reality. Dimitri reaches out toward Hans to shake his hand and tries to ease the sudden tension. I think to grab his hand before they touch, but it doesn't happen.

'Hello, sir, I'm Dimitri.' Hans doesn't take his hand and instead pulls out a lighter and stares at Dimitri with scrutiny.

'So they said.' He mutters rudely. 'So what happen to the pretty boy, Rose, he get tired of you?'

Janine snorts in laughter and I keep my eyes level to the table. I didn't want to look up or at any of them in the chance that I would catch Dimitri's eyes. I didn't want to see the look of pity or whatever he was thinking of this yet. I wasn't ready to deal with that.

'I could see why, having to drag this little brat everywhere. You always take your little sister on your dates?' Hans sneers. Sometime I couldn't tell if he hated Meredith or if he liked her way too much.

'Yeah, I got to keep her away from assholes like you.' The words just fall out of my mouth and I regret them as soon as they do.

It wasn't on Hans behalf either. I'd insult him forever if I could. It was because I had just given him the ammo to keep going and the fact that Dimitri was right here. Next to me, observing my mess of a mother and her shitty boyfriend. This unfortunate reality that is my life.

'Oh really? Assholes like me who give your mother a place a stay. Pays her rent so you little girls could spend all your time eating pizza and all that other shit you brats do.'

'We don't need your money. We don't need shit from you, you stupid-'

'That's enough, Rosemarie!' My mother's firm voice interrupts as I glare at the smug look on Hans' face.

I feel Dimitri's hand slip into mine as he pries my fingers out of the tight fist I had them in. I don't look at him. I couldn't, I was too embarrassed and worried that I had just blew it with him. He was I'm sure acting out of kindness when he comforted me. He was just trying to ease the tension so it wouldn't freak Meredith out.

My life, this crappy truth I have been trying and trying to keep from the outside world had just been exposed. And to the one person who I wanted to save it from. What would he think of me now? What would he say or do to end whatever it was that had just started between us? What was going to happen next?

I didn't know but I certainly didn't want to stay to find out. 'Come on, Meredith, it's time to go.'

'I want to stay! Can I stay with mommy. Can I stay with you, mommy, pleeease!'

As I gather Meredith's sweater and stand from the booth, I watch as Meredith's hopeful face waits in anticipation for my mother's rejection. I knew that was coming of course and the only thing now was what kind of excuse Janine would come up with to tell Meredith.

I didn't miss the not so subtle glance to my mother from Hans either and it only pissed me off more. I hated how quickly my emotions got the best of me around these two. I hated how Janine brought out the worst and I hated how Meredith didn't see it. She was ignorant to Janine's ways, not all of them, but the ones where Hans was concerned for sure.

'Can I mommy?' Hans clears his throat and looks off into the crowd.

'I don't think so baby, why don't you go home with Rose and we'll come back another time, okay?'

The despair hits Meredith's face in a sudden frown. Her smile and bright eyes fade as she hangs her head in sadness. I act quickly, walking around the table and reaching to carry her out of the booth all the while Hans stares directly at us. I had a little trouble picking her up and began to struggle a bit since there was a short wall next to the table.

I see Hans lean over and slowly his arms reach out aimed for Meredith's hips and slight panic hits me. I didn't want him to touch her, his off gazing at her the moment he sat down just added to my distress. The last thing I wanted was for him to touch her.

'I got her, Roza.'

A calm hits me as just before Hans could touch her, Dimitri's long arms grab Meredith and he scoops her easily into his arms. I don't miss the look of irritation crossing Hans' face though. 'You better go straight home, Rosemarie. No leaving her off somewhere to be with that boy.'

The chance to snap back and tell her some snarky comment about how she was a hypocrite, about how much we didn't need her comes and goes. I just looked at my mother, really looked at her and watched as her eyes changed a little. They became full of sorrow for only about two seconds and then they changed right back to that flat blue as she drank some more.

**...**

'How come I couldn't stay? I just wanted to stay and play, Roses.'

The night is silent as we walk back to the car in the darkish parking lot. I was quiet. I didn't exactly know what to say to even begin apologizing to Dimitri. So I just stayed quiet as I buckled Meredith in and got in the car myself.

'I'm sorry.' After driving in odd silence for a while, Dimitri glances at me before going back to the road and shrugs.

'Dont be. You have nothing to be sorry for, Roza.' I stare out of the passenger window and try to free my mind of all that happened. I was also trying to fight the betraying tears.

'How come we couldn't stay longer? Roses, I wanted to stay with mommy... How come I couldn't stay with her-'

'She doesn't want you with her, Meredith! Okay? She doesn't want us.' I snap.

Meredith didn't complain anymore after that and I couldn't keep up the fight with my tears anymore. I could feel Dimitri look at me every now and then, but I never turned around. I just kept staring out of the window in the hope that this was all just a dream. An incredibly bad nightmare. The reality set in again once we pulled up to the house though.

'You could runaway now if you want. Get out while you still can.'

Dimitri stood from sitting on the steps of the porch. He turned to face me and smiled sadly before gesturing for me join him. I took a deep breath and decided that it was a good thing I hadn't let Dimitri in too much. It would've hurt more later on if we had gone any further. No, it was good that he was ending things because I didn't need to disappoint anyone else. Especially someone who I liked very much and who was as great as Dimitri.

He took both of my hands in his as I stood on the bottom step and was almost the same height as him. His eyes showed sympathy but I didn't let myself get sad. He had made me happy, so I would end this just the same.

'I was wondering if I could come by and walk you to school tomorrow?'

To say I was surprised was an understatement. That shocked the shit out of me. I didn't comprehend for a few seconds of what he just said. It took a minute and his smooth smile to snap me out of the shock.

'What?' He laughed softly at my shocked reaction and pulled me closer to him. 'You- you were there, right? You saw... that actually happen.'

He swallowed deeply and looked down before meeting my eyes. I didn't know what was coming and it scared me a little. 'We all have messed up families, Rose. And you're not scaring me away. I told you I like you, a lot.'

To say I was relieved was also a surprise but I still felt like I had to give him an out. He didn't need this; this was my problem not his and I didn't want to drag him in anymore of it than I had. 'Just promise if you get overwhelmed and decide I'm not worth it anymore, we'll still be friends?'

He looked like he wanted to say something. It was probably something along the lines of disagreeing with my question but I didn't let him talk. Instead I just kissed him.

**Holy Rusted Metal Batman! A Hundred Reviews! Thank YOU so much (: I hate this chapter, most likely because I re-wrote it like ten times. Oh welp, let me know what you think. Anyway, sorry for the late update, classes started up again and I lost track of time but a DPOV is coming up very soon.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 12:** Don't I know you better than the rest?

'Belikov, why the hell are you working today?'

I roll my eyes as Christian and Jill walk in the bookstore but keep unpacking the boxes full of new books. 'I like to work on Saturday's.'

'Lame, I thought you'd be with Rose making little Dimitri juniors or something.' Jill smacks him in the back of the head and then picks up one of the books from a shelf.

'Sorry, he hasn't matured to our level yet... or any level for that matter.' Christian rolls his eyes at Jill and then proceeds to take the books I've just stacked nice and neatly out of order.

'So why aren't you with, Rose? You guys have been like glued together lately.'

I shrug and restock everything Christian messed up as he's now moved on to the magazine racks. The thought of Rose excites me but then it also concerns me. We haven't really talked about what happen that night with her mother and the boyfriend. I didn't want to push, I figured she would tell me when she was ready, but it seemed to make her think I would just drop her at any moment now and maybe she would never be ready.

'Uh oh, trouble in paradise, young Belikov?' I sigh deeply at my friends questionable expressions. Sometimes I felt like Rose and my mother were the only ones who could read me but then I remember I've been friends with these two my whole life.

'It's fine.' I mumble.

'Clearly. We can tell by your depressing sighs and you went quiet for a while there. It's pretty obvious, Dimitri, what's up?'

I shrug again and put down the books I was holding. I wasn't going to tell them about what happen at the pizza parlor. I knew for sure Rose wouldn't want everyone in her business and it was none of mine to tell. So I thought I'd keep it as vague as possible or at least try to.

'It's nothing really. It's just that, Rose is kind of quiet about things. If something is bothering her she doesn't tell me or if something goes wrong she right away thinks I'm going to break up with her or something. It's just kind of frustrating when someone you care a lot about doesn't seem to believe in your relationship.'

They stay quiet for a few seconds. I can already hear the snarky comment Christian wants to make but it never comes. Instead it's Jill, level headed determined little Jill, coming to my aid. 'Well, it's only been like some odd weeks or so, maybe she isn't ready to get in too deep.' I nod taking in her words.

Except they don't sit well with me and again the idea to share what's happen crosses my mind, but I shut it out. Technically we've been dating for a bit but I felt closer. To me, in my eyes, I cared for Roza a great deal and those feelings were beginning to run deep.

The sessions helped greatly and I'd like to think I've been there with her through the whole Adrian/Avery fiasco. The betrayal of someone she thought was her friend and not to forget her mother. What Jill said made a lot of sense but when talking about Adrian or Lissa it was open. Where when it came to her mother or anything too personal, well, that was a whole locked and sealed non-existent topic.

'I don't know that could be it but... I guess I just feel like I have to prove to her I can be there for anything she needs me for.' Jill nods and gives an odd look to Christian. He wasn't paying attention to our conversation, I don't think but Jill gave him a glance I couldn't really determine.

'What is it?' She snaps her head back to me and her eyes change to blank emptiness.

'Nothing. So did something happen with you guys to make her think that or has she always been that way?'

I shake my head no still determining what the look Jill gave Christian was but answer her anyway. 'Something did happen but I can't really say. It's just made her think I was going to run away from her or something. I don't want her to think I'm that guy who runs away when times get tough.'

'Dimitri, you of all guys are not like that. You're like the complete opposite; in fact other guys should take lessons from you, seriously. I think whatever happens you should just give her time to get her head together and then maybe when she's ready, she'll talk.'

I sigh again and go back to fixing the books, nodding at Jill's hopeful advice. 'I hope so. I just want her to know I'm going to be there for her no matter what.'

'Then you should tell her... all girls want to hear the guy they like tell them things like that. It builds trust and it counts.' Once again she glances to Christian but I don't miss the yearning hopeful shine in her eyes. 'Okay, girls, I got to go. The old man's demanding a family dinner so... I'll see you guys later?'

Christian and I nod as Jill gathers her bag and heads out of the store. I throw a quick glance to Christian before catching up to Jill who was just outside the store.

'Jill!' She turns to face me and waits for me to get closer.

'Yeah?'

A deep breath in preparation sounds from me and then followed by another look back to the store. This was going to be interesting, I hope. 'Why don't you just tell him how you feel?'

Jill gives me a look of confusion trying to hide her shock at my discovery. 'Tell who what? What are talking about?'

'Jill, come on, we've been friends since elementary school. It's only obvious you like him, so tell him already...'

She shakes her head no. 'I can't. He doesn't see me that way. Its fine, whatever, you know. I can deal.' I watch as her eyes flash sadness and then switch back to guard.

'How do you know that?' This aggravates her slightly as she now throws me an obvious glare.

'Vasilisa Dragomir. He's hung up on the impossible, Dimitri. Just forget about it, okay?' With that she walks away slowly, her head hanging as she watches the ground with every step taken.

'Jill! Hey, come on!'

She stops at my voice and then turns a second later to face me. Jill throws a blank glance at the store once before speaking again with a sad empty tone.

'He came over here because he wants you to talk Rose into getting him in with Lissa. I know you wouldn't ask her and I kind of have a feeling Rose wouldn't do it, but... _What if_, you know?'

I nod in understanding and with that Jill walks further away. I feel like a jerk, here I am complaining about how the girl I care about so much to a girl who has no chance with the guy she cares for. I thought I had problems; Jill's were a whole other thing. She was brave, I'll give her that. Maybe this walking away thing was easier for her to do. I couldn't, I was raised to fight for what I believe in and want. And I knew I wanted Rose, so I'd fight anything in the path of keeping her.

'So you think Hathaway's going to dump you for being too nosey, huh?'

Of course, leave it to Christian to find humor in someone else's despair. The comment irritates me a little more than usual and I find myself watching as Christian messes around the store without a care.

'Screw you; at least I have a girlfriend. What do you got your right hand?' He scowls at me and then raises his left arm.

'I'm a lefty, Belikov, thought you knew. How long have we known each other?' I roll my eyes and continue to put books away.

'It's actually the opposite. I think maybe she's going to dump me thinking she has to before I dump her.'

'So reassure her you're going to be around. You can't give up because you think she is that's stupid.' It was odd getting advice from him.

He was Christian, sarcastic and completely oblivious to just about everything. I thought though that if he can give me advice surely I could give him some. Or maybe a push in the right direction because I for one knew his fantasy with Vasilisa was never going to happen.

'Hey, so, are you going to see Rose soon?' I shrug and pay no attention to what he was doing as I keep working. 'I was kind of hoping you could maybe do me a favor?'

'A favor for you? What kind of trouble are you trying to get me into now?'

'No trouble, nothing like that, just a favor.' This intrigues me as his voice became slightly hopeful and excited. I look up finally to catch him watching me with hopeful eyes and a pleading smile of the most fake innocence I've ever seen. I've seen better on Viktoria.

'What?'

He takes a deep breath and then walks closer to the register where I was currently checking in books. The hopeful gaze hasn't left his blue eyes and I get a sudden feeling of suspicion. 'I was kind of hoping you would talk to Rose for me, you know; get her to help me out...'

Yup, certain suspicion. 'To help you out with what?'

A sudden flash of what Jill had said before she left occurs in my mind and I know what is coming. I was just praying that he wasn't going to ask me and suddenly change his mind at the last minute. 'Well, she's friends with Lissa, right? So I was thinking maybe, if it's okay with Rose that she could maybe quite possibly put in a good word for me... You know, find me an in to get Lissa to notice me.'

'I thought you were her lab partner already? That doesn't qualify as her noticing you?' He rolls his eyes in annoyance and sighs, walking around the counter to sit on one of the stools.

'No, man! That was part of our tutoring agreement and it's not an _in_ when you're in class. We can't exactly talk freely with Mr. Stick-up-his-ass Alto. I need an actual chance, a common topic for us to talk more, something! You know an interest so she doesn't look at me like the nerd guy she has to sit next to for the rest of senior year. Rose knows her and she could get me behind enemy lines, and then I'll charm the rest of the way.'

After giving him a look of he must out of his odd mind, I shake my head no. Jill was right after all and it made me feel even worse for her, but she was right about me not doing it as well. Now all I had to do was a find a way for me keep Roza out of this.

'You want me to ask my girlfriend to help you get into her best friends pants? I don't think so, Ozera.' I try to play it off.

'Oh and why not? Come on, Belikov, it's not like I'm trying to just hit it and quit it or anything. I'm genuinely _into_ this girl. I feel things for her and with your girls help; I'm in. Come on, you got to talk to Rose, please? I'm begging you.'

His eyes shined with nothing but sincerity. He was really interested in Vasilisa but of course has always been. I just wasn't aware of how bad the poor guy had it. 'How do you even know she's going to go for you? I mean, no offense but it is Vasilisa Dragomir, girl who agreed to be your lab partner so she could make a grade.'

'Because... I don't know, we need help getting past the awkward friends stage and you and Rose can do that.'

I shake my head exasperated at his logic and misunderstanding. 'Why don't you just ask her out yourself, it can't be that bad? I mean look at me and Rose.'

He sighs tiredly and lays his head down on the countertop dramatically. I roll my eyes and continue working still with Rose's worries on my mind. 'It is that bad, dude! I'm not you and she's not Rose, we don't have that weird opposites attract thing going for us. Lisa isn't going to rebel like Rose and go against the grain!'

'If you know that then why do you think she'll go out with you at all?' He sighed again, this time in a way that showed he knew there was a risk.

'I don't know that but I mean I got to try right? You did and look; now you got Rose.' True but the thing was Rose liked me back. I wasn't so sure Lissa felt the same. 'Isn't that what it's all about, taking a chance on someone you can see yourself happy with?'

I shrug and the first words that come to mind are ones I want to take right back. 'Yeah but how about taking a chance with someone you actually _have a chance_ with?'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

I snap my head up to face his confused questionable eyes and try to shrug away the tension. A long silent minute occurs and I know I've said the wrong thing. 'Nothing, I-mean-I was just talking.'

'Oh right, because you know, since you've got your ideal girl and everything. I stand no chance with mine, right?

'I didn't mean it like that, Christian. I was just saying, you know, maybe you've got the girl all wrong.'

'How can I when I've liked her for so long? You don't just forget things like that, Dimitri! What other girl could there be if it's not Lissa?'

'I don't know… I mean Jill's-Jill's known us for so long… and I know for a fact that she's into you.'

'Jill?' There's anger in his face when he disbelievingly asked that question. 'Dude, Jill, she's like my sister. And you know what I'm sick and tired of you trying to make us something more than what we are with your stupid remarks about her feelings for me or my feelings toward her. There's nothing there.'

I nod and watch as he stands there breathing hard. His stance and body language showing me that I pushed a button I shouldn't have and Jill's words flash in my mind. He was hung up on the impossible and it made me sad for them both.

'Okay. I'm sorry.' He nods once and then mumbles an excuse to go.

It made me think of what Jill had said about her just dealing with it. I could never do that, not tell someone how I feel. It brought me back to Rose and what happen with her mother. It made me think about what Jill and Christian had said about telling Rose how I felt. Showing her I wouldn't give up when things got tough. I wasn't going to let her keep thinking that I would just dump her for the trouble in her life and I would prove it.

**... **

'Hi.'

'Hi, I thought you were working tonight?'

'I was but we closed early. It turns out not a lot of people want to buy books on Saturday nights.' She smiles as she closes the door behind her and we sit on the front steps of her porch.

'I could've told you that, Comrade.' She says teasingly, I had made the mistake of telling her one night on the phone that my family originated from Siberia and so she thought it was a fitting name.

'So what did you do today? Where's Meredith?' Rose scoots close to me as we sit on the steps and she leans her head on my shoulder and sighs. 'You sound tired, are you okay?'

She nods and then our hands unconsciously meet and I place them on my lap. 'You know you could talk to me, Roza, I wouldn't pass judgment.'

'I know.'

'But you still don't say anything...' By barely bumping her shoulder with my own in a playful manner, I try and give her some encouragement. 'What's going on, talk to me...'

She laughs off the seriousness of my words and let's our hands go to fold her own across her chest. 'Why do you keep saying that? You sound like a broken record.'

'I'm just trying to be there for you.'

I look off into the distance of the street and now the person I looked forward to seeing all day has made this moment as tense as ever. A moment goes by where I think of all tension that's passed through the day. First Jill gets upset and then I accidentally without even trying upset Christian. I couldn't help them but Roza wouldn't even give me a chance to help her and that's all I wanted to do.

I wasn't sure if it was me and all I seem to do was piss people off or just have incredibly bad timing. With the silence telling me she wasn't going to say anything, I decided to not press any further and just let her be. There was obviously nothing I could do. 'I'm sorry; I didn't mean to spoil the mood. I'll call you later, Roza.' I get up to my feet to walk away without even looking at her but am pulled back suddenly.

'Dont go, please.' I turn to face her and see the emotion in her big beautiful eyes. 'It's just-it's been a long day and I just got Meredith calmed down... I could use a distraction.'

That meant she still wasn't going to talk but still wanted me to stay. She squeezes my hand beckoning for me to sit down, but the thing is I don't want to. I don't want her to hold anything in because she thinks I'm going to go away. I wanted the truth and I wanted her to know that I wasn't going anywhere.

I pull her up to face me and take both her hands in my own. I sigh defeated and decide this was the moment that could make or break us. It was either she knows I'm here to stay or keeps thinking the worst. 'I want to help you not distract you from anything.' She sighs deeply and looks down to our feet.

'I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to drag you in any further, it was embarrassing what happen the other night and I'm wondering why your even still here with me at all. Let's just forget it, okay? _Please?_' When she finally looks up, I catch her eyes and shake my head not letting go of her hands and attempting to walk away. Which I found it incredibly hard to do.

'Dimitri, please don't go. Please.'

I turn to face her not even getting an inch away as I see the desperation in her face. A deep breath sounds from me and then I move a piece of hair fallen from behind her ear. 'Why won't you tell me anything about that night, Roza? Why do you keep everything hidden?' She stays silent and looks away from me to nowhere in particular. 'Why do you think I'll run if you tell me the truth?'

For a moment, a quiet pause happens and I think that she isn't going to say anything at all. However I'm surprised when she looks down toward the ground and her voice sounds low, almost too low.

'Why do you care?'

At first I wasn't sure I heard it but then I knew I did when I found myself angry at her reply. Why did I care, how could I not care? 'Seriously, Rose? Are you really asking me that?'

She avoids my eyes but looks up again out into the dark street. I make her look at me by moving directly in front of her. 'Well then maybe I shouldn't care, huh? Is that better for you, to have a boyfriend who doesn't give a shit about your emotions! Or about the way you feel and what you're going through? You should've stayed with Adrian if you wanted that!'

It hurt her, I knew, I hated myself as soon as those words left my mouth. But the day's events had taken their toll on me as well and I couldn't just stand back anymore. I acted out of anger, yes, but concern as well. She lets out a frustrated sigh and then sinks to the steps sitting down with her head in her hands.

'What do want to hear? What, that my mother's a drunk? That she likes to drink, she'd rather do that then spend any time with her kids. I have to take care of Meredith and I have to make sure she gets to school, she gets dressed, and she has something to eat! I have to take care of the house and then get _myself_ through school. I have to do everything because my mother would rather get drunk with her stupid pervert boyfriend then be an actual mother!'

I'm speechless as she avoids my eyes and looks out into the street at nothing. I didn't know what to say and I was sure she didn't need me saying anything with the fed up tone she just spoke with and her eyes glossy. So I waited... and waited for what seemed like forever, until she spoke up again. A little softer this time.

'Is that what you want to hear? Is that good enough for you, because honestly Dimitri, it's not something I want everyone to know.'

The night is silent as I slowly sit down next to her. I don't touch her in fear that I might make it worse. Or that she would think I have pitied her. We didn't need that. We sit for about ten or twenty more minutes as silent as ever. I glance at her every now and then but she still keeps her eyes away from me. Slowly, I take a chance and reach out to move a piece of hair from her face and her eyes finally meet mine. I take everything she's just said in and still find myself wanting to prove to her that she could count on me. No matter what.

'Roza, I know that can't be easy but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. You don't have to hide things like that from me. I'm not going to think any less of you-'

'You're just going to feel sorry for me and I don't need that. I don't want anyone's pity, Dimitri, especially yours. This is my mess to deal with; it has been since I was a kid.'

'I don't feel sorry for you, Rose. In fact it's quite the opposite. You know that night, at the pizza parlor when you told me if it got too overwhelming that I could leave?'

She nods and I grip her hand tightly in mine. I look her dead in the eyes and let all my feelings for her show. 'I'm not going anywhere, Rose. And it's not because I feel sorry for you or I'm trying to save you- I just want to be with you, that's all.'

She looks at me, long and hard and searching my eyes to see if I meant it. And I did, I meant it with all my heart. It was crazy to think that I wouldn't have given Rose a second glance when I first met her. I didn't know who she was then. To me she was this materialistic brat who got away with everything. Then I got to know her and see her, the real her. We went from arguing and putting up with each other to friends and then it was suddenly more.

It just felt right to me. It felt good to have someone be really who they were and love them anyway, despite their situations. And I'm going to show her that she can have this so-called mess of a life and I'd be with her anyway. I reach for her knees and slide her closer to me, ready to kiss all her worries away. I was ready to tell her the way I felt and I was going to do it now.

'I care a lot about you, Roza, and I'm not going to walk away just because you have a responsibility to Meredith. I need you to know that.'

'I want that more than anything, Dimitri, but let's be real here... Why do you think Adrian lost interest or that I hung out with him and those people in the first place? No one cared about my home life when I was around them. They were all too interested in themselves. I'm too busy trying to be here for Meredith to have any kind of social life and then soon enough you'll get tired of all the excuses, and all the drama and then you won't feel like the way you do anymore.'

'But I'm not like them, Roza. You forget I don't care what other people think or do, especially people like them. I'm different, remember… It's why you're crazy about me.'

That last line causes a small laugh to sound and her eyes so full of emotion to shine a little brighter. She laughs it off and then leans her forehead on my own as we just have a moment to take each other in. 'You're the crazy one... My offer still stands, you know?' I sigh but don't move from the captivating spot she's got me in and shake my head no. 'I'm serious. If you don't feel- if you feel like you can't handle it anym-'

'I've told you, Roza, I'm not going anywhere. That isn't going to happen.' I say with all the certainty I could possibly muster up.

'You don't know that.' She speaks softly.

'And neither do you. Roza, you take care of everyone else, Meredith and your mother. Let me take care of you.' I wanted to say more. I wanted to promise her the world but I had just got her to relay all this. I didn't want to push her any further. So I stopped talking and let the silence speak for me instead.

Finally a few quiet minutes later, she smiles sadly. 'Do you want to come inside?' I nod.

'Do you want me to come inside?' She nods and smiles before I kiss her softly.

**...**

'So this is my room, it's kind of a mess though.' I laugh at her as she leads me in her room holding my hand.

'It's definitely you.' I say as I take in the unordered piles of cd's and clothes. It was so Rose, unorganized but definitely her.

'Um, have a seat.' She says pushing a pile of clothes to the floor from the bed.

'Where?'

She turns to face me and glares as I smile back to her playfully. 'Anywhere you can find a spot, smartass.'

I laugh and just as she is about to sit down on the bed, I tackle her down on it and hover over before we kiss softly. I pull away after a while of making out. She pulls me back by the collar of my shirt for just one more kiss and then I pull away to look around her room as we sit up on the bed.

'I like it, it's definitely you. Shows who you really are; messy and unorganized.' She laughs and nudges me with her arm.

'Shut up!' I smile for the moment. We were good like this, together making each other laugh and happy.

'You didn't even make your bed.'

'No, Meredith slept with me last night. She sleeps all over the place, so I left it a mess.' I shake my head at her as she rolls her eyes and smiles teasingly. 'I bet your room is all perfectly clean and organized, full of book all in alphabetical order by author and edition on some giant shelf.' I avoid her smirking eyes and hide my shame.

'Maybe.' She laughs and the sound makes me face her and watch as she looks so beautiful in the dim lighting of her small messy room. She catches me staring though.

'What?'

'Nothing. I was just thinking...'

'Thinking of what?' She asked softly and then takes my hand to play with my fingers.

'Nothing, never mind.' I lean in to kiss her once more but she moves away and glares confused.

'I hate it when people do that.' She says shaking her head and dropping my hand. 'If you're going to bring something up and then say never mind, why even bother bringing it up?' I shrug as she continues. 'I mean really, it seriously irritates me when people do that.' She says seriously, talking with her hands in that meaningful tone. 'Like almost to the point where I want to punch the-'

I kiss her to shut her up but mostly cause I think it's cute when she's into whatever it is she's talking about. Like when we talk about music or books, like when she's making fun of me for liking westerns. I kiss her because I can and we both like it.

'What was that for?'

I shrug and smile while playing with her soft silky locks. 'I didn't want you to punch me.' She laughs as I smile widely. That smile that only she can get out of me.

'Well, I will punch you if you don't kiss me again.'

**...**

We lay there, in her room on her bed with her head on my chest and our hands entwined. A bit after we came inside, Rose had put Meredith to bed who was coloring quietly in her room. Rose and her mother had a bit of a fight before I got here and according to Rose; Meredith hates when they fight.

Now it's quiet and we're both silent as we just take the moment to be together. It makes me think of everything that's happen and it's happen so fast. I knew for a fact Rose and I had developed a strong bond after our talk outside and everything else that happened. Yes, I finally got her to open up to me and to see I wouldn't leave her in troubled times. But now I had to prove it.

'What are you thinking right now?' Rose asked as she watched me carefully.

'I'm just hoping that you really do believe me about what I told you.'

'I do. Well, I want to... you have to prove it though. I'm not exactly too keen on promises, you know?' I nod knowing what she means.

'I just want to be with you, Roza, no matter what. If that means taking Meredith on every one of our dates or helping you with your homework or being there whenever it is you need me to be, I'll do it.' I turn her over to hover on top of her again.

We kiss and I take her hands and pull them above her head so she couldn't move out of my hold. 'I'll be there even if you don't want me to.' I say before kissing her softly. 'Even if you dump me for someone else-'

'I'm not going to dump you, why would I dump you?' I kiss her deeply this time and pull away to shrug and lean in as close to her lips as possible but not touching just yet.

'I'm just saying I'll always be there for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you.' And then we make out like never before.

Our lips meet and then hers open so our tongues touch barely. Her hands are in my hair, pulling and running her fingers through the short strands roughly. My body on top of hers and her leg half wrapped around me. Our hands feel, squeeze and touch any part of the body they could reach.

We break away but my lips and tongue attach themselves to her neck and suck at the smooth skin. Her breath ragged and her hands find themselves running across my stomach and back under my shirt. Her small fingers send an exciting chill over my skin and I pull from her neck to capture her lips once again.

She taste sweet, her kisses full and passionate. She bites my lip and I cup her ass but pull away when I feel myself getting a little too excited. Her eyes stay closed for a few seconds as our heads lean on each other. _I love you._ I thought as I watched her open her big beautiful eyes, but I didn't say it.

'You look beautiful. You always look beautiful.' She smiles and reaches around my neck to hug me tightly to her small body. She just hugs me and I return it, giving her the peace she was searching for.

**Apologies for the late update, school has been kicking my ass and I honestly couldnt get my head back in the right space to write this. So im very sorry if it sucks or lacks in anyway, next chapter will be better and hopefully up sooner. Also I have been listening to No Doubt all day and when they play: me happy, but not in the right state of mind for fluff happy. So apologies if this last bit sucked hard.**

**Thanks for reading though, I like when you do and love when you review. (Hey that rhymed)**

**(:**


	13. Chapter 13

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 13:** The trouble with time is that you did all you could.

I had woke up in the best of moods this morning. Saturday night with Dimitri was something I realized now that we both needed. I needed to let him in some more, I needed to show him I trusted him fully and that not everyone in my life is eventually going to hurt me. I hoped.

When we were in my room it was all happiness and joy. We were just having our own moment, a moment that we both very much needed to ourselves. It was all kisses and laughing and he even let me hug him for as long as I wanted. I don't know what it was about those hugs but they brought some sort of comfort. A peace if you will, and if I could, I would hug him forever.

Like now, with my arms tightly wrapped around his lean waist and my head resting on his warm chest. His tall frame holds me in place as we stand there, him leaning against the lockers in the hall as we wait for Christian and Jill to meet up with us for lunch. It was a chill Monday afternoon and as soon as I walked out of my third period class, Dimitri was there waiting for me patiently.

I reveled in this hug; it was the only place where I felt relaxed.

It was funny; it was like he filled some empty void I didn't even know I had. And just by his warm loving hugs -which I totally want to do all the time when I'm not thinking about kissing him- he made me feel content. At peace. It was crazy how we came to be so close in such a small amount of time, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I leaned against him and closed my eyes sighing the tiredness away.

It's been a long day of school and Saturday night's argument with my mother was weighing in on me. 'Tired?'

His deep soft voice soothes me through his chest and it only made me want to pull him closer. I nod and he leans his head down to softly kiss the top of my head. He stays there for a few moments as we wait for the others. Christian fixed his car and seniors were allowed to leave campus for lunch, so we were all going for pizza.

Dimitri's arms squeezed me lightly to his warm body and as I tucked my head under his chin, we heard the enthusiastic voice of Christian breaking us out of our own little moment.

'Today is the day, my friends!' He says as he slams open his locker and then shoves his backpack full of wrinkled papers inside.

'What did you finally hit puberty?' Jill says dryly as she walks up to us from the other side. I smile as Dimitri's chuckle rumbles through his chest and will myself to make some space between us as Christian rambles on.

'Aha ha ha ho he ha! You're fucking hilarious. No, I just over heard Lissa saying something about meeting some friends for pizza... possibly at the same place we are going... Do you see where I'm going with this?' He asked and waited for any of us to respond as we all pondered over what he was getting at. Of course, Jill was the first to respond when she figured it out.

'You're really not giving up on this are you?' Christian nodded smugly and closed his locker to face us and explain further.

'Why should I? I mean come on, same place, same time? It's got to be fate, right? I mean I know there's only one big pizza parlor in town, but the fact that she's going there and we're going there... Its perfect timing. It's my chance to make a move, right?'

No one said anything but I could easily tell that both Dimitri and Jill wanted to. 'What are you going to do, make her an offer she can't refuse? Maybe take all her tests for her, raise her grade point average and all she has to do is agree to eat pizza with you for one afternoon?'

The tone of Jill's voice was angry and sarcastic but covered in slight amusement. You knew she was joking but on the inside you also knew she was serious. She couldn't fool anyone with the pure look of frustration pouring out of her eyes. 'What if it's not fate, Christian? What then?' Jill says as she to closes her locker and the tension is so thick we all just might choke.

'Leave it to you to be negative over something I'm actually excited about.' Christian throws out as Dimitri stands from leaning on the lockers and attempts to break the tension.

'Well, I wouldn't call it being negative more like living in reality. I'll see you guys, I'm going to stay on campus for lunch.'

Jill says as she grabs her bag and turns around ready to head down the hallway away from us. 'What, why? Jill?'

Dimitri's words stop her and she only turns halfway when she answers back. 'I'm suddenly not in the mood for pizza anymore. I'll see you in class, Rose.'

I nod in agreement but also understanding. Jill and I talked a little bit more since after the concert and she was in my fourth period. But the look on her face told me something more and according to Dimitri, she liked Christian but didn't see them going anywhere. 'Jill, wait! Come on, come with us...' Dimitri tries to pursue her once again but she just shakes her head no and gives a quiet look to Christian. Some subtle look right to him as he was looking around the hall for something or rather someone.

'And watch him get rejected? As much as I would love to, no thanks.' Jill tries to turn away again but Dimitri's hand stops her.

'Jill, just come with us. You know he's not going to ask her it's just talk, like always.' She looked at him for a few more seconds and then her eyes met Dimitri's in blank seriousness.

'I don't know, Dimitri, he seems pretty determined. I mean look at his face, he's going to do something...' She said before swallowing and retreating her eyes to her feet before meeting Dimitri's again. 'I don't want to be around for the outcome, good or bad. I'll catch up with you guys later, at the bookstore, okay?'

Dimitri nods and lets her go, we watch as she walks down the hallway with her head down. 'Yeah, okay.'

Once Dimitri turns around our eyes meet and I feel so bad for Jill. He shrugs and smiles sadly as we both know there's know there's nothing we can do. So I take his hand in mine and we catch up to a very eager Christian almost out of the building in a rush to get to his car.

'So, what do you think? How should I go about this, just walk up casually and make it like we just ran into each other or smoothly walk over and break out the famous Ozera charm? What do you think, Belikov, help me out here...'

I glance to Dimitri already knowing his response, Christian's eager eyes wait for him to speak but all he does is stand from the table and grab our empty cups. 'I think I'm going to get a drink, would you like a soda, Rose?' I nod and smile as he walks away from the table shaking his head at Christian's antics.

'What's with him, angry at the lack of western isles in bookstores these days?'

I shake my head no and roll my eyes at his lame remark ready to defend Dimitri's honor and his love for books. Instead I blow it off and try to focus on helping Christian see why his friends were so frustrated with him. 'No, he's just a little... frustrated, I guess.' Christian nods and once again stretches his head in the direction of where Lissa, Mia and a few other girls were sitting. 'So you're really not into Jill, huh?'

Christian turns around and frowns at me before sighing tiredly and drinking the rest of his soda. 'Ah, not you too Rose? I thought we were friends here? You're going to bust my balls over that too?'

'Well, no, but it's pretty obvious she likes you. I mean, she's known you forever and you guys fight like all the time, over everything. At least with Jill, you know you've got something. She likes you...'

'Yeah, it oozes out of here sarcastic negativity toward everything I say and do.' He says smugly and I have to admit; he did have a point.

'Well, maybe it's a defense mechanism or something... A way to keep from getting herself into a vulnerable position or maybe she feels like she has to do that in order to keep some kind of sanity.'

'And why would she need to do that?' I shrug and glance at the table I would most likely be sitting at extremely unhappy, if it weren't for that tall hot bookworm on his way back to our table.

'Well, because you're a little obsessed with someone else and that sucks, at least for her it does. I don't know, it could be lots of reasons but I'm pretty sure that's the one.'

Christian gives me an odd look before shaking his head of any emotion he was recently wearing. 'You've been hanging out with Belikov way too much, Hathaway, way too much.'

'I'm not complaining.' Dimitri says as he sits down next to me and hands me my drink. I smile as Christian rolls his eyes and Dimitri leans in to kiss my cheek.

'Of course not, why would you?' Christian says shaking his head and catching another glance to the table Liss was sitting at.

I hear Dimitri sigh and after putting his cup down on the table he finally snapped Christian out of another zoned out day dream. 'Still thinking of going after the impossible?'

Christian nods, 'Thinking? No. I'm doing.' Christian rises from the table and takes a deep breath before turning around quickly and then facing us again smiling.

'What? Christian, wait-'

'It's cool Belikov, I got to try right?' He says after signaling for Dimitri to stop talking with his out stretched hand and turning around to face them.

'Christian, I don't really think it's a good time to-'

'Chill, Hathaway, I got this.' _Hathaway?_ I think as me and Dimitri watch Christian hesitantly walk over to Lissa's table slowly.

'This is going to get ugly.' I mumble as I caught a sight at the door of the restaurant, where two familiar faces were watching Christian's attempt as well.

'Why do you say that?' Dimitri asked his focus solely on Christian as he smiles and nervously plays with his hands while Lissa watches him oddly.

'Aaron and Jesse just walked in and their headed right over there.'

At my words, Dimitri turns to the look where I was and sure enough we watch as Aaron and Jesse make their way over to Lissa's table.

The look in Aaron's eyes tells me he sees no threat from Christian but there's some slight amusement there. Jesse was a whole other story, any chance he had for confrontation he took it and this was one. No teachers around to stop them and Christian seem to be alone with no one to back him up. In other words it was a free opportunity to humiliate the nerdy kid who happens to be in a restaurant full of random people with no consequence.

'черт' Dimitri mumbles before he gets up from the table and dutifully begins to walk over where everyone else was.

I got up to follow but before we were even three steps near them, it was a little too late. Jesse had Christian by the shirt and I couldn't hear anything he was saying but Dimitri pulled them apart quickly. Lissa's eyes met mine as Aaron stood next to Jesse and he and Dimitri were standing head to head staring holes into each other.

'Come on, Dimitri, just forget it. Let's just get out of here, okay?' Christian tries to calm the situation but it doesn't work as Jesse smirks and meets my eyes quickly.

'Got some new friends do we, Rose? Be a good girl and tell your nerd herd to back off my boy's girl or else.' Dimitri's jaw clenches and his fist flex.

'Do it yourself.' Dimitri's words were spoken lowly but everyone heard them. He talked firmly and pointedly not deterring from Jesse's cocky smirk. Just as Jesse was about to reply, I meet Lissa's eyes again and notice she wasn't going to do anything to stop this. So I take it upon myself to step next to Dimitri and grasp his arm in attempt to pull him away from here.

'Come on.' I say pulling him with me as he lets me guide him out of the way and Christian follows us.

'Hey Rose, if I'd known you were giving it up for free grades I would've signed up to tutor you a long time ago.'

Jesse says stupidly making Dimitri halt and my futile attempts at pulling him with me don't work. He was suddenly like trying to move a statue. As much as I pulled he wouldn't budge and I knew this was indeed going to get ugly. 'What?' Dimitri asks walking quietly but deadly right back in front of Jesse once again.

'You heard me nerd boy, what the fuck are you going to do about it?' Jesse's cocky smile only seems to enrage Dimitri more and it scares me a little.

I didn't think Dimitri was a violent person and I knew for a fact it was the last thing he wanted to be, but this had made me realize what we talked about earlier. He said he was going to prove to me what he promised. The only thing was I didn't want him to do it like this, this was below him and I couldn't let it happen.

'Dimitri, come on, let's just go.' I once again have his hand in mine and it was like something snapped him out of the angry daze.

He looked at me for a few seconds and then closed his fingers around mine but met Jesse's eyes just before turning around to walk away with me. Just when I thought we were out of the dark, a sudden pull stopped us from walking any further and before I could turn around fully, Jesse's fist was swinging right for Dimitri's face.

Our hands released and Dimitri hunched over in pain as blood gushed out of his hands covering his face. I flew to him as two workers from the parlor raced toward Jesse and ended up escorting him and Aaron out. Lissa once again meets my eyes as she followed her friends out of the restaurant and I held Dimitri's face in my hands trying to help the bleeding stop.

'I can't fucking believe that asshole hit you with a fucking cheap shot, man! What the fuck was that? Who fucking hits someone while their walking away from behind?'

Christian rambled on as we were now in the employee bathroom tending to Dimitri's nose. There was blood all over his hoodie and our hands, and even some on his shoes. I was cleaning his face as he was trying to block out the pain of getting hit by the varsity pitcher whose fast ball had recently got him in the newspaper for major league potential.

Too bad he was a major league ass who had caught Dimitri when his guard was down. 'Fucking cowards, man! Dicks!'

Christian kept his angry rant going as I tried to asses Dimitri's nose. It didn't look bad but I wasn't a nurse or anything that knew if it was broken or not. Dimitri was keeping quiet except for growls here and there as he tried to block out the pain or my fingers pressed too hard.

His eyes were fierce though, angry and royally pissed off. I could see it as soon I got him to let me look at his nose. He was sitting on the toilet, his head looking up to the ceiling as I cleaned what blood I could before more spilled out. I had to admit, even for a guy of Dimitri's height, Jesse had got him good. In a cowardly fashion and when he wasn't paying attention, but he got him good.

'Are you okay? The bleeding stopped a little but we should get you to the hospital or something...' He swallowed and closed his eyes tightly.

'It's broken, I know it is. Just get it to stop bleeding and I'll have my mother look at it.'

He was in pain, I was sure but the tone of voice he spoke with determined he was also mad. I just wasn't sure if it was at what happened or me. 'You should've let Dimitri knock his ass out!' I roll my eyes at Christian as I ring out the hand towel we were given and continue cleaning Dimitri's nose.

'Why because you're an idiot? I'd like to keep my boyfriend's face from becoming damaged any further, thank you.'

'Why am I the idiot, I didn't say anything?' Dimitri moved his face too quickly for me to even get close to touching his nose again as he glared at Christian and snapped.

'No but you went over there after I told you not to!' Dimitri's voice roared in the bathroom and I quickly discovered then who he was mad at.

'So what?' This made me snap as well. Christian was so self-involved with making this out to not be his fault that I was now frustrated at him too.

'What don't you get, Christian?' My voice stops him from pacing the small bathroom and he looks to me glaring. 'Look, I'm sorry, but Lissa is not going to go out with you, okay? She doesn't even comprehend that you exist outside of her needs.'

I go back to Dimitri and let that sink into Christian but all too quickly he's ready to reply. 'Hey, I thought you were her best friend and now you're going to talk shit about her?'

What a fool and it pisses me off further at Lissa as well. All she did was stand there and let it happen. She didn't interfere and try to calm Jesse down or didn't even try to tell Aaron anything. She just stood there and looked at me as if it was my problem to deal with. 'That's just it, she is my best friend and yet here we are cleaning up blood! She's not all she's cracked up to be, Christian! She may seem like the perfect girl but inside she's not as pretty or perfect for that matter.'

'And what makes you so sure, miss we're best friends?' He glared at me while his voice raised a new level. He though he was angry, he wasn't the one with a broken nose trying to defend the people he cares about.

'I've known her since kindergarten and not once did she even think to defend me or do anything just now...'

He stood there quiet as my voice seemed to send a chilling pause throughout the room. I was tired of him trying to keep the blame from himself or Lissa and I was angry that Dimitri had suffered because of Christian's stubbornness and Jesse being an asshole.

So I sigh and face Christian one last time before going back to my injured boyfriend. 'Just forget it, move on.'

**...**

'So despite my huge broken nose, how do I look?'

I smile as we grasp hands and walk toward the bus stop where we would be meeting Meredith. 'You look good, you know, not many people can pull off a broken nose. It works for you though.'

He smiles and shakes his head as we come to a stop and sit on the grass waiting for Mer's bus. 'Oh, good. I was afraid it would make me seem like some nerd who got his ass kicked.'

Yesterday's lunch adventures were crazy but it seemed to only make me and Dimitri even closer, somehow. His nose was broken but it was a clean break and it would heal up nicely. Or so his mother had said. He will be walking around school for the next couple of weeks with a huge Band-Aid on his face though.

'Nope, you're perfect.' I say as I lean into his chest and he settles his chin on my shoulder.

'Are you sure? I mean, maybe I'm not all I'm cracked up to be either...' I smile at the playfulness in his eyes and know to laugh it off but be serious at the same time with my next words.

'No, you are. You're perfect to me and you only got your ass kicked for defending your girlfriend, so it kind of in a way adds to the perfectness.' He laughs and shakes his head at me amused with my made up word.

'Well, anything for my girlfriend. She's pretty perfect too, you know?'

I don't say anything for a few minutes but when he squeezes me to him, I decide to play off his statement. 'Yeah? Well, when can I meet her?'

'Roza...' He says in that tone of voice I know is going to put another crack in the heavy armor I carry myself in. My eyes meet his lovely brown beautiful ones and I can't help the smile that follows.

He didn't have to say anything else after that. He told me everything I needed to know with just those eyes. He gave me all the reassurance I needed that what he said was the truth, at least to him it was and I wouldn't take that from him by belittling myself.

'Ow!'

He says making me lean back from the soft chaste kiss I had planted right on him. His face scrunches up in pain as I smile sadly and try not to laugh at hitting his nose accidentally. 'Sorry.'

**...**

It was Wednesday now and since tutoring was over, Dimitri had picked up a few more hours at the bookstore. So I had to wait for Meredith today on my own, which sucked but we were due for some sister time.

As I walk the halls to where the bus dropped her off I couldn't help the small smile that I wore. I seem to be wearing it a lot these days. I even wore it at home while I did chores and cleaned up another one of Janine's stupid parties she invited her dumb drunk friends to Monday night.

It was funny how I would usually complain up and down about how I had to clean everything and take care of everything, but recently other things had clouded my mind whenever I had to do those things. Other things like Dimitri and how after work during the week, he made it a point to come and see me or call. If he didn't work he usually spent most of his time with me and Meredith while my mother wasn't home.

And even if I had ended up coming home to another round of arguing, Janine and Hans drinking parties or messes that they left while I was at school; he would always find a way to make me smile. To make me forget that I lived in a shitty situation but I could always count on him to brighten the moment.

He was lovely and understanding and I have to admit that I worried it was too good to be true. But then he seemed to know when I was in doubt and cleared my head of any of it with just the smallest of kisses. And Meredith loved him, especially since he was so tall on our walks to and from school she repeatedly asked that she sit on his shoulders to be as tall as the trees. He didn't mind of course but now she wants a skateboard.

Those entire thoughts parish though as I spot an all too familiar face smiling and talking away in much too flirty manner. Viktoria lean against a wall of lockers, playing with her hair and giving goo goo eyes to whatever guy was standing in front of her.

They looked deep in conversation and I wasn't sure why this stopped me until the guy -who I could only see the back of- dropped a cigarette to the floor and didn't even bother to step on it in order to put it out. _Adrian._

He leaned one arm casually against the wall and I could barely make out Viktoria's figure any more, which worried me. I keep my slow pace and try to not make myself obvious as I can't help but keep watching as Viktoria flirts away. I could hear her laughing but not just any laugh; it was one of those fake girly laughs that are attempts to make the guy think he's funny.

I know for a fact Adrian is not funny, not by a long shot. His jokes were mostly dirty ones that usually turned into discussions of girl's body parts and what he'd like to do to them. It wasn't until I saw her hands around Adrian's waist that I stopped walking all together. He leaned down slowly and sure enough, Viktoria's hands made their way around his neck and their heads moved in all too familiar way.

It was quite a heavy make-out session and I walked away as soon as I noticed it wasn't going to end any time soon. A thought had crossed my mind as I picked up my pace to the bus stop and immediately I knew what I had to do. _Avery_, what about Avery? As far as I knew her and Adrian were still going, but then why was Viktoria all over him just now?

She was asking for trouble getting involved with him and I knew for a fact it wouldn't end well for her. I also knew Dimitri wouldn't be too happy with his sister and the possibility of what this could bring. So I had to tell him, right?

**.D.**

I sigh in deep frustration and a smudge of concern. I have been telling Viktoria to back off on those people for the longest time but no, she had to go and get herself deeper into whatever fascination she had with them. This time, according to Rose, it was bad. The thought of what she described to me enraged me.

The thought of Ivashkov's hands let alone mouth on my little sister made the feeling even worse. She is pushing too far and this could potentially ruin whatever reputation she has at school, whether it was good or bad. I just knew I had to try and get her out of there. At least one more time.

I knew she wouldn't listen but I had to try. I've tried time and again before but this time it was different. Viktoria knows Adrian is taken, she knows by her supposed friend, so why would she put herself in this position?

I didn't know but I knew I had to talk with her and get her to see reason.

'Viktoria, could I speak with you for a moment?'

I ask politely as she sits on her desk chair staring at her computer screen boredly. 'No.'

I sigh and walk in her room anyway, closing the door with a light slam to get her attention. She only moves her eyes though as they stare at me in disbelief.

'Get out of my room; I didn't invite you in, Dimka.' She sneers going right back to her computer and ignoring me.

I sit on the edge of her bed and glance at the room, it's like the color pink threw up all over it. The walls covered with posters and fashion magazines, it was so cliché. I sigh again at the angry glare I'm receiving from my baby sister and decide to just come out with it.

'What's this I hear about you and Adrian Ivashkov?'

Her head snaps to me and her eyes widen in slight fear but shift into a blank stare of unknowing. 'What do you know about that?'

I shrug and try to read her ungiving eyes. 'Why don't you just tell me what's going on? Instead of sneaking behind peoples backs?'

'So your little girlfriend is a spy now, huh? What did she tell you, Dimka? What lies and bullshit did she sell you now?'

I fight off snapping at her and her accusations toward Rose. Of course she would think we were out to get her and name Rose the bad guy. 'I never said it was Rose and don't try and blame her for yours and Ivashkov's stupidity. What the hell are you thinking, Viktoria? _Adrian Ivashkov?_ I thought you were better than that and what about your friend, Avery, I thought they were together?'

'You don't know shit, Dimka, okay? Just mind your own fucking business and you and your bitch girlfriend stay out of mine!' I stand and turn off her computer screen she couldn't seem to take her eyes off of as we talk.

My rage is now bare to see and the look Viktoria gives me, let's me know she is not afraid to push me. She never was and she knew how exactly to get under my skin. 'Why don't you watch your damn mouth and stop calling Roza names.'

'Roza? Oh, fuck, you gave her a nickname now? What is she your pet or something? She isn't even Russian, Dimitri! Geez, she's got you by the balls, doesn't she?' She smiles wickedly and doesn't back down from me.

I shake my head sighing at the stupidity of my kid sister. How did she get so caught up in herself and the wrong people. 'What the hell is the matter with you, Vika? What? You've become so much like those stupid girls not caring about other people just yourself. Who the hell are you, I don't even know you anymore...'

She looks to me in what seems to be unsure curiosity. As if she was asking herself that same question but not to quickly did the angry attitude come out to play at full force. 'Or maybe your girl is just jealous that now I got her man and he is over her! Maybe she's playing you and making you stick your nose where it doesn't belong because she's a miserable fake who no one gives a shit about anymore!'

I shake my head exasperated at everything she's just said. And want nothing more to do than shake some sense into her young insecure molded mind. I was tired of her being this person and tired of her acting like she was something she's not. I was fed up with her talking about Rose the way she was. I was tired of my own sister.

'Why do you even want to hang out with those stupid people, Viktoria?! They're a bunch of rich, snobby, arrogant assholes.'

Not even a second of silence passed as she pushed me out of her way and walked around her room angrily folding her arms across her chest. 'Look who's talking Mr. I'm in love with one of them but she doesn't even really give a shit about me!'

'Just shut up about, Roza, she isn't like them. You don't know anything about her, Vika, she's different!' I snap at her and all it does is give her more reason to keep going at me.

'Yeah, right. She's the worst one! She really has you fooled if you even think she gives a shit about yo-'

'Why don't you just grow up, Viktoria! Get a goddam mind of your own!' I finally yell at the top of my lungs stopping her next rant about Roza. 'Stop following those jerks around all the damn time... You deserve better, Viktoria, not some guy who's going to treat you like he treats his own girlfriend and cheat all the time.'

This time it's quiet as I'm breathing hard and watching carefully how Viktoria is quietly taking in my words. I think this is it that I finally have won and got through to her. I stand here in her pink room and think to myself that I finally have some part of my sister back.

'Oh, is someone jealous?' She speaks calmly and low as her eyes betray her words and I know she's worried. 'It isn't my fault I have a social life and you hang out with people who don't matter to anyone.'

She laughs lowly and somewhat in fear of what she's thinking but is hiding from me. Maybe she's finally getting it, maybe she sees the reality of it all and maybe she truly doesn't know who she is or who she wants to be. But she's hiding herself and the worry and I know it. I can see it in her eyes, she's just grasping at straws now.

'You're older than me and I have more of a life than you, Dimka. How sad is that?'

She says opening her door and waiting for me to get the hint. I do and as I walk out of her room, I know that now, now I have to be ready for whatever comes next. Because whatever it is, I need to be there when Viktoria falls, so she knows she still has her brother. No matter what.

**...**

'So no luck then, huh?' I shake my head no and play with some strands of her messy hair as she sits up next to me on her bed.

I had just caught her out of the shower when I decided to come by and Meredith was already sleeping away. Rose sits crossed legged next to me as I'm lying down across her comfortable bed and we have another peaceful moment together.

'Well, maybe she needs some time to think about it or something. Let it sink in, so she has an idea of what she's getting into.' Roza, so optimistic all of a sudden.

I sigh and maneuver myself around the bed to place my head in Roza's lap and our hands find each other to hold. 'I can only do so much when it comes to Viktoria though. She's pretty stubborn and when she wants something; it's tunnel vision from then on.'

'I still think you should talk to her again. I know from experience, once Avery sets her mind on something she does not stop until it's hers.' She says letting her eyes wonder off into the dimly lit room. 'Look at Adrian, she shot for him and got him with no trouble. Not that I'm not happy with you but she was doing that while I was still with him.'

I smile and capture her attention again looking at her with most certainty. 'Yeah, but you kind of walked away from that one, so it doesn't really count.'

She laughs lowly and reaches down to barely kiss my still broken nose. 'Still, you shouldn't give up on your sister. Avery's a life ruiner, she ruins people's lives.'

'I can tell her until she's blue in the face, Roza. Viktoria is one of those people that have to learn on her own. All I can do now is be there for her when she needs me, which she will.'

Rose nods and the room becomes quiet again in one of our peaceful silences. I was beginning to love those, the moments where we could be as quiet as the night and just be together. There doesn't have to be conversation or anything else, just us and being together. Then a thought hits me.

'You know, you could be working on your report right now.' Rose sighs tiredly dropping her head back playfully at my words.

'Oh, come on Comrade, can't there be like one time where you're not reminding me to do school work or what I could be doing? Just one time?' She asks amused.

I smile and shrug sitting up and leaning against the wall. 'I'm just saying you can be doing something instead of nothing.'

Rose laughs and shakes her head moving to sit on my lap with both legs on my sides. 'Well, I'm not doing nothing and not going to do anything except sit here, with you, while we make out like crazy and bask in this most precious of moments together.' She smiles playfully at me again and the words I longed to say flash in my mind once again. 'See I can use big fancy words too.'

I laugh. 'Yeah?'

'Yeah, so quit trying to get me to do work and kiss me.' I have no choice but to comply.

**Some more fluff, but is it too much fluff? Let me know and thanks for reading (:**


	14. Chapter 14

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 14:** Just like yesterday, I told you I would stay.

I caught her again the same place as last time, except this time something was off. She looked, I don't know... uncomfortable. From the way Adrian was cornering her and the way Viktoria kept her hands on his chest, I kind of had an idea of what was going on. Although I couldn't be too sure, Viktoria wasn't someone I was fond of or knew well. However, I had a feeling.

Once again, that annoying conscience of mine remembered that he was technically dating Avery and the thought had me concerned for Viktoria. Why, I have no clue, but it was there. Continuously circling in my thoughts and triggering my concern. It could be because I was involved with her older brother but it also could be because I knew what kind of pressure she could be under. It didn't matter, either way; I had to do something.

Betrayal is one thing all on its own, but betray the wrong person and there was no coming back from that. It could haunt you your whole life, guilting and hanging over you like a dark cloud. And if that person you're betraying happened to be Avery Lazar, well, let's just say you were doomed. Not even if you happen to get over it somehow, she would follow you. It would always surround you, lingering over you. It gave her a pull of some sort and she loved when she had a pull over someone.

I couldn't let that happen.

'Adrian, I just don't think we can do this anymore... I know what I said before and your right it isn't fair of me to tempt you like this, but this could get bad.' She spoke with what seemed like fear in her voice. It shocked me because every time she talked to me I got that confident cocky tone. This was just straight fear and she was very unsure.

'Aww, come on now, Viktoria, we both know neither of us wants to stop.' As he spoke, he began cornering her in between himself and the wall of lockers. 'Come on, I thought you wanted to be with me? This is your chance she isn't around.'

Nope, she wasn't, in fact Avery would be at cheer practice where Viktoria should be. He spoke with a sly grin and carried that irritating confident tone I hated. I slowly step quietly up to the wall they were in front of hiding, all I had to do was step to the right and they would see me. I hung there and waited, for what I'm not sure, but I waited.

Viktoria sighs and then through the reflection of the window on the side of me, I see her pull Adrian's hand away from her chest. He was always too touchy feely for me but I could control how far it went. It didn't look that way with her because all he did was smile and then his other hand made its way into her hair.

'Dont be a prude, come on now, you said you wanted this. Here it is, take it.' It was always his way or no way at all.

I felt for her, her discomfort was clear on her face and it bothered me. You know that feeling you get when you don't want to be somewhere or do something? That feeling of absolute dread pouring out of your body? It was all in her eyes. Those too familiar brown eyes that looked very much like the ones I was always looking into.

'Adrian, please, someone could see us and then if Avery finds out; I'm dead. You know the way she is; she will never let this go.' She pleaded and even managed to push him back a few steps.

He was like a leech though and attached himself right back to her. This time a little more forcefully. He grabbed her arm and harshly pulled her to him, his voice low and grumbly but I had heard what he said. 'You didn't care before, fucking tease! You were the one coming on to me and now you don't want it anymore because your friend might find out? I don't have time for games, sweetheart, you either want this or you don't!'

Viktoria, surprising me, strongly pulled her hand back and pushed Adrian away again. 'I don't. Now leave me alone, Adrian!'

He was quick though and had her by the wrist pulling her once again back to him. By this time I was too worked up to just stand there, so I stepped out from behind the wall but they didn't see me. _Yet._ 'You just ruined any chance at all with me! Avery was right about you, your just some little girl following us around like a lost puppy.'

By this time, I had been standing behind Adrian. He threw back her arm and it threw her body back a few steps but she had already made eye contact with me. Her eyes moved between me and Adrian but he hadn't realized I was there. Viktoria just stood quiet and held her wrist as he continued to ramble on and I waited for the perfect opportunity to speak.

'It's funny you were pretty willing back on that boat, at the party and the other night out on the docks. What you need your master Avery to act like a slut? Your nothing, you know that? She made you and she could destroy you just as easily, don't forget that, sweetheart.'

Shock. Absolute shock, hit his face when he turned around to walk away and instead came face to face with me. It felt good catching him by surprise, real good. So I went with it. 'Are you okay, Viktoria?' She nods hesitantly not speaking or moving, just watching. 'And you?'

Adrian just glared as my eyes fell on him and I tried not to falter. 'Rejection must really hurt the ego, huh, Adrian? Thought you knew no means no. Is Avery not cutting it for you?'

I have no clue where that sudden charge of bravery had come from. Adrian's jaw clenches as he stares me down but doesn't say anything. His glare is powerful but I don't let it get to me, not when I've got something on him like this. When the moment is mine and he's the weak one.

'What do you want, nobody? A second chance? I don't do sloppy seconds, Rose.' _Ouch._

I just smiled and nodded toward Viktoria and she moved to stand behind me. 'You wish. Leave her alone or I'll show your little girlfriend what you're up to while she's at morning practice.'

I waved my phone in front of his face giving him the idea that I had proof he was a scumbag. It was a lie, yes, but it would help in the end. Just in case Viktoria got bit by that crazy bug who gave her the idea of wanting to be friends with those people again. And so Dimitri didn't have to worry so much. With that he walked away glaring holes in my face and too stunned to say anything. I didn't take a picture or film them but he didn't know that. Viktoria however, wasn't as grateful as I thought she would be for me helping her out.

'I could've handled that myself, you know?' I sigh, shaking my head of her ignorant pride and start my way to class. 'I don't need your help and I don't want it! Why don't you just go blow more smoke up my brother's ass and leave me the hell alone!'

I was going to let her slide, she was young and her pride had been hurt when I jumped in to save her. However, now she was pushing too far and the last thing I needed or wanted was to have her as an enemy. Not when Dimitri means so much to me. Things were actually good in my life for once and I intended to keep it that way.

'You could say thank you and act like an adult for once. You welcome by the way.' I snap at her as she stands there and glares deadly laser beams at me. I turn to walk to class and decide to just let her have her hissy fit. I didn't want anything escalating and coming between me and Dimitri. But this girl would not let things go for anything.

'You think you're the bigger person now? Your still nothing, still just some has been who was exactly like them! I don't see what Dimka likes about you! Do me a favor; don't get involved with my life, okay? I don't need you fighting my battles!'

'My god, you are so selfish, Viktoria!' The few steps between us become non-existent as I move directly in front of her speaking quietly.

'I didn't do it for you, okay? I did it for Dimitri.' The glaring intensity of her eyes seemed to vanish at those words. 'He's worried about you. He's told you many times what those jerks are like and you were the one too focused on yourself to listen. He's your big brother, Viktoria; he's just trying to protect you.'

For a short nano second, those young not so innocent eyes flashed an emotion I have yet to see Viktoria show. It was like she was almost convinced at my words. Like she finally got the point that Dimitri and I have been trying to make for the longest time now. Then the tardy bell rang and that emotion was gone in as quickly as it came.

'Whatever, I don't need you or him. I can look out for myself.' And with that she had turned and walked away.

I couldn't tell him. I wanted to really really badly, but that wide bright smile I saw walking out of third period changed my mind immediately. He would've gotten upset and made things worse for Viktoria. I had once been where she is now and she didn't need her older brother fueling anymore Adrian fires, so to speak. It wouldn't go well.

So I just returned his light kiss, clutched his hand in my own and we walked to lunch. We had decided to stay on campus today, well; Christian had left early so we didn't exactly have a car to take off. Which actually turned out to be a good thing? I had decided to let Viktoria tell him. I would pursue her to confide in her brother and then make sure Dimitri didn't go and make thing worse. We would handle things like adults.

Adrian thinks I have proof against him and that I would use it. So I was going with that route. He would leave Viktoria alone, she would learn her lesson and tell Dimitri, and hopefully the problem is solved. What I didn't consider or I had forgot was that Adrian would tell Avery a completely different story to save his own ass. And he did it, and it worked.

We were sitting there, me and Dimitri on one side and Jill across from us. It was loud but calm in the cafeteria with us just laughing at random things or talking about music. The tables ahead of us were full of eager hungry students. The few teachers walking around and keeping an eye on things was nothing new. But as I laughed at Jill's snarky comment about Alto's receding hairline, something had caught my peripheral view.

Well, someone had caught it. A way too smug faced Avery had walked in the cafeteria holding the hand of Adrian. Who looked like he just saw the most amusing thing in his life. I watched as Jill and Dimitri kept throwing jokes around but I didn't hear them. It was like they blended into the noise of the background, faded out by the evil smug smile Avery threw me when she caught my wondering eyes. Something was wrong, very wrong and they were the cause of it.

Now as I sit there and watch as they seat themselves among their friends. I can't seem get focused back on my own. Something was definitely wrong and even though I didn't know what; I knew it was bad. And boy was I was right.

'Oh my god. Dimitri.'

Jill's panicked voice throws me back into the moment as me and Dimitri both turn around to face the exit of the cafeteria where Jill couldn't seem to look away.

That's when I discover just what Avery was smiling about. Why she and Adrian had walked in the cafeteria with only a few minutes left of lunch. However, it seemed like everyone had now followed our surprised concerned faces because as soon as she walked future into the building the room went silent. There was no background noise to channel anything out and everyone was dead focused on her.

Viktoria's hand covered her face from her nose down. There were some light blood spots on the collar of her shirt and you could clearly tell that she was crying. As she walked across the huge room every set of eyes had followed her as she made her way to our table in clear humiliation. My stomach sank, my eyes moved from Viktoria to the table in the middle of everyone and my knowing eyes met the very amused ones of Adrian.

Whatever happened, it was clear who the cause of it was. Dimitri stood up and before Viktoria could get close to the table he was in front of her. Viktoria shook her head no as Dimitri quietly assessed her and everyone was still staring. In a flash Jill and I were also up getting Dimitri to take Viktoria outside where there weren't so many people.

'What happen, Viktoria?' In his calm voice Dimitri looked at Viktoria with concern.

I had a pretty good feeling though he was about two seconds from blowing his top and hunting down whoever did this like it was his life mission. True, I had an idea of who did it and I could've told him. However, exposing that information wasn't my place. She didn't need my help or want it, no matter how much I wanted to say something.

'Nothing, Dimka, can you just take me home please?' Viktoria sounded weak and beaten. Not in the sense that she was hurt but emotionally she sounded empty.

'Tell me what happen, Viktoria, please? Who did this? Was it a guy-did a guy do this to you, Vika?'

The concern in Dimitri's voice is clear as glass and I hate that Viktoria keeps shaking her head no and not saying anything. I open my mouth to speak and say something but Viktoria's voice stops me.

'It wasn't a guy, Dimitri, just get me home please! I want to go home!' She begs him with pleading eyes but his sigh tells me he wasn't going to let it go.

'What the hell is their problem, staring like their at some zoo?' Jill's mad voice gets me to turn where she was facing the window of the cafeteria and sure enough Adrian and some guys were standing there watching.

'Viktoria, please, just tell me who did this to you?' Dimitri's worried voice almost gets her to cave. The caring almost pain-like concern he spoke with has Viktoria quiet. She looks at him with wide breaking eyes as if any minute now, she's going to spill everything, but I have my doubts as she begins shaking her head.

'Avery.' That one word snaps Dimitri's suddenly angry eyes to me and Viktoria's close in frustration.

Dimitri waits for me to explain more but I divert his attention back to Viktoria with a silent nod. 'Tell him. Tell him what happened, Viktoria.' Viktoria gives me a look of pure evil as she sighs and Dimitri faces her. 'Vika?'

That one word, spoken so soft and gently, breaks her and the tears fall. 'I was-I ...it was a stupid mistake, Dimka. It was stupid, I'm stupid, okay! I shouldn't have-I shouldn't have started anything with him.'

'What the hell, Viktoria?' He already knew who she was talking about. She doesn't reply to him. A string of Russian whispers sound from his mouth and he glares at the cafeteria where the culprit was watching with that sly smirk plastered on his face.

'Dimka, don't go back in there, please! Just leave it alone, I'm begging you, Dimitri!' Viktoria went off in Russian, from what I assume trying to get Dimitri to drop it. That wasn't very likely though, not with Adrian smiling away at us.

Dimitri's eyes met the green ones of Adrian through the window and in that heated intense moment, I knew I had to intervene. I stepped in front of Viktoria and handed her a napkin from my pocket I usually carry for Mer. She glanced and nodded a subtle thank you to me before wiping her nose. So I turned and faced my very angry boyfriend.

'Dimitri?' His eyes didn't move from the window, it was like he was in an angry trance or something. 'Hey, Comrade?'

I spoke softly and held his face turning it to me. Our eyes met, but Dimitri's had taken a second to shift before all the anger faded away and they came back to that soft brown. I knew they were still watching through the window and Jill was helping Viktoria clean up. I also knew I had to get Dimitri out of here before anything else escalated.

I admit I wanted nothing more than to let Dimitri beat the shit out of Adrian, but for Viktoria's sake I had to hold him back. I had been in this position before; going against them was a difficult task. And letting Dimitri go after Adrian now, while he had all his friends there to do the dirty work for him -which he would do- was stupid.

I wanted Vitoria to tell him the truth. It had to come from her and she had to be willing to tell him everything herself so he got a better understanding of the situation. He had warned her, I had warned her and now she learned the hard way not to mess with people like Avery Lazar. I wasn't going to let it take Dimitri though, he was better than this. So calm and level headed. So relaxing him with my touch, I got him to focus and listen to me.

'Dont let them get to you, okay?' I wait looking into his eyes for him to come back to himself fully and when he does, his eyes close as he nods. 'Viktoria's right, you'd be giving them what they want if you do anything now. Just take her home and make sure she's okay, she needs you.'

Something must have hit him then because his eyes opened and searched mine for a long minute. He was looking for a reason, a reason why I would ask him to let this go and I guess he must have found one. He nodded slowly and a sigh escaped him.

'If we let them get a reaction out of us then they win. It's only going to get worse from then on, take her home, okay?' He nods again and throws a last glare at Adrian to the window.

'I'll come back, walk you and Meredith home.' I shake my head no, fixing his sweater and then smile small at him.

'We'll be okay. You should stay with Viktoria; talk to her.'

**...**

'That was a little crazy, huh?'

I nod and watch as Meredith tries to skate over some cracked cement on Dimitri's skateboard. The intensity of the day weighing in and all I wanted to do was get home and call him. To check and see if Viktoria was okay and if she finally told him what she was doing.

Jill sighs next to me as we walk down the street quietly. She was going to her mom's house and decided to walk half way with us. Also I think she wanted to know what was going on with Viktoria. 'I wonder how Dimitri is he was pretty pissed off there.' I nod in agreement once again but am a little baffled when she makes her next comment. 'You seem to have calmed him though... you guys are like, I don't know; together.'

I laugh amused at her confused expression. 'Well, yeah, that's kind of the whole point of being boyfriend and girlfriend.' Jill just nods and continues walking.

'He seems pretty taken by you. I've never seen him so... I don't know; confident.'

Her words confuse me now. When was Dimitri not confident? I mean since I've known him, he seemed like he knew who he was. The person he wanted to be. He was so sure and comfortable with himself. It's a major reason why I was attracted to him in the first place. To me, he was smart and assured. He's everything I wasn't, comfortable in his own skin and didn't care what anyone thought. He was real and the truest person in my life.

'Confident?' I question throwing a glance to Jill and catching her smile.

'As long as I've known Dimitri, he's always been true to himself but with you it's like this new light's been lit up inside of him.' She looks to me as we keep walking a little behind Mer and I spot some sincerity in her eyes. 'It's like he thinks he can do anything now. I mean as long as he's got you.'

I nod in understanding. The feeling was mutual and I felt myself becoming more sure about who I was and the person I wanted to be. All thanks to that tall nerdy hot boyfriend of mine. 'I would hate to see that light taken from him though.' I almost stop walking at the suddenly tense conversation.

I didn't know what she meant by that or what she was trying to get at. So I decided to make a joke out of it and pretend like the tension was non-existent. 'Is this the part where you tell me if I hurt him, I'll regret it somehow all intimidating like or something?'

Jill shakes her head no as she laughs amused. 'No, this is the part where I tell you how good of a guy Dimitri is. And that even if you do hurt him or things end badly between you two; he would always be there for you. It's just who he is.'

I take in her words slowly; she wasn't being protective of him but rather putting in a good word. He really didn't need her to do that since we're already together but it just showed what good friends he had. And what kind of friend and guy he is. It also made me slightly wonder how she seem to be so sure he would do that.

'What makes you so sure?' I question after a few seconds of silence.

'I've known Dimitri since I was five years old. We used to be neighbors. Then my folks got divorced and I went to live with my dad.' As we continue to walk, I listen intently but keep my eyes ahead of us as Jill speaks. 'I was going through a really hard time with the divorce and I kind of rebelled. Anyway, I started getting into some trouble and hanging out with the wrong people. Dimitri, he was always there for me though. One night I was so incredibly drunk out of my mind that I went to some school dance and made a complete fool of myself.'

She laughed but it wasn't out of humor. It sounded more like she was thinking back to that time and realized what a fool she was being. I had a lot of those laughs lately.

'I guess I had this, I don't know, a crush I'm guessing one would call it? So there I went, walked right up to Adrian Ivashkov, hottest freshman on campus and confessed everything. How much I liked him and just a whole bunch of other really stupid shit young girls who can't handle their liquor say.

I even kissed him. Ew, I know. All I remember is he just laughed at me and then before I knew it, all his friends were laughing at me. It was bad, really really bad and the next day at school all these stupid stories started flying around about me. I ended up in the girls bathroom crying my eyes out because one of Adrian's friends had come up to me and said some really fucked up shit that I'd rather not repeat in front your sister.'

I watched still silent as Jill looked off into those memories. She looked ashamed and embarrassed, but she also looked relieved. As if it she was glad it happened because then she wouldn't have become the strong snarky person she is today.

'Christian found me walking out of the bathroom and said he had been looking everywhere for me. He dragged me to the baseball field and when we got there... there the guy was, out cold in center field and there was Dimitri standing above him with this proud look in his eyes.'

We came to a stop as we were at the street where Jill would part from us. She smiled brightly and watched as Meredith placed both her feet on the board and quietly waited for me. It was a second before Jill spoke again but what she said had made me sure that she was right about Dimitri.

'You know the funny part? I was mad at him. Dimitri and I had an argument the night before the dance. He was trying to get me to feel better and stop wallowing in my own self-pity. I got mad, yelled and told him to fuck off and that I didn't need him. That was the last time I had talked to him before getting to that baseball field.

Take it from me Rose, someone whose love life is pretty much crap. It's nice to have someone who cares about you so much and then you return the feeling. It's nice to have someone who cares at all.'

**.D.**

'Is she okay?'

'Yeah, she's fine now. I'm going to leave her with Alberta for the day and then head to school. I've got a English paper to turn in and I'm excited about my guaranteed A.'

I laugh and shake my head as I walk the hall to my locker. Rose had missed first period and was late today because of Meredith getting sick. 'I hope she feels better and you better get an A or I won't get my hard earned pay.' Roza laughs and the sound soothes me as I juggle the phone with my shoulder and open my locker.

'I thought the sessions were over, Comrade, no more easy money for you.'

'Who said anything about money? You promised me a pretty steamy make-out session and I'm hoping to collect.' I hear Rose's soft laughter on the phone but spot Christian and Jill in a pretty intense whispering conversation.

'Well, I'm on my way now. I'll see you for lunch, okay?' I agree and tell her goodbye.

'What's going on, guys?' I ask them after grabbing my things and hanging up with Rose.

Christian has a slightly worried but more sorrowful look in his eyes. Jill was different, I could tell right off the bat she was pissed and I didn't want to be at the other end of that. 'Um... we've uh heard some not so nice things around school this morning.' I keep my eyes on both of them waiting for whatever is next.

'It's only second period, what could you possibly be so glum about?' I mean really, we've only been in school for about four hours.

'Dude, promise you won't get all raged out, turn green and stomp all over everyone in this building?' Jill elbows Christian as I'm still waiting for them to reveal what's going on.

I shrug and then look around as students walk in and out of classrooms or hang out in the middle of the hall. Everyone was acting as they normally would, laughing or messing around with friends. Talking or texting or doing whatever they normally did before going to class.

'I'm just saying you should be as calm as you possibly can after we tell you this. I mean we're just the messengers, so we're not to blame here, okay?'

'Will you shut up and just tell him already!' Jill snaps.

This couldn't be good, great more dramatic bullshit to go on top of all the other shit Viktoria told me last night. I hope not, I needed a break from all this made for television teenage drama for one day. I was hoping coming to school and spending lunch with Roza would do the job but apparently not.

'It's bad, dude, like real bad. Like some really really horrid terribly smelling shit has hit the fan and that stuff is flying everywhere. And I mean everywhere.'

'Christian, what the hell are you talking about?' I finally manage to get out at his mindless rambling.

'It's about Rose, Dimitri. There are some rumors and things about her going around and... Well, pretty much everyone has seen and heard them.' _Rumors and things?_

They couldn't be that bad, could they? I mean there rumors, not everyone is stupid enough to think their true unless your that narrow minded or something. I mean we are in high school but come on? 'What kind of things?' They throw worried glances to each other as I now notice the short knowing looks of a few people in the hall. 'Guys, what's going on? This time just say it.'

'Someone said they saw Rose's mom at this restaurant with some man. That she was so drunk and out of it, she fell off a chair and then threw up all over herself, and that the guy she was with... The guy she was with kept messing with her, I guess he was calling her a bunch of things. I don't know but that's just what we heard so far.'

No way. No way did was this happening, not to Rose and not now. Not after we've come so far and she finally let me in. No goddam way, it couldn't be true. 'Those are just rumors, right, like you said it's just things going around. Right?'

'There's more but I don't think you want to hear it. Also...' Jill looked to Christian as she prepared to say whatever was next but with a slight nod Christian took over.

'Someone got some pictures of it and their passing them around. We haven't seen them yet but I talked to Mason and he says there pretty fucked up.'

'You should call Rose back, try and convince her to stay home. We could try and find them, and take them to a teacher maybe get the principle to get rid of them or something-'

Jill's voice fades out as I look around the emptying hall of students going to class. A few of them going about their day and a few of them throwing me glances. I'm frozen in this spot, not able to move or breath it feels like. Fury. It was plain straight blind fury circulating in my veins, pumping into my heart and surrounding my head with anger. Just pure anger, first Viktoria yesterday and now Rose?

'Rose is coming, stay and wait for her.'

**.R.**

I stare in absolute embarrassment and horror as Hans still frame kicks my mother in her ribs. I clutch Lissa's phone in my hand so tightly I'm sure I'm about to break it into fractions of pieces.

There's picture after picture of my mother on the floor of this restaurant, she looks haggard and sweaty and drunk. Hans is seen smiling in one, happy that he was embarrassing her in front of all those strangers, all the few people that knew her. He had kicked her in one picture, was pulling her hair in another and I'm sure calling her names.

I close my eyes in tired frustration and eagerly shove Lissa's phone back to her. She had stopped me before I walked in the building heading to class. At first I didn't know what she wanted but the apologetic look on her face had given me reason enough to see what was up. That was a big mistake, I wasn't even at school for longer than ten minutes and already my day was fucked.

'I'm sorry, Rose, I really am.' She didn't know what else to say and really, what could she have said.

I breathe deep and heavy. My palms sweat and my mind turns and turns with endless possibilities of what this has just revealed to the whole student body. I hadn't told anyone about this, not even Lissa and Dimitri only knew because he had seen firsthand what my life consisted of. I just wanted to fade away.

I wanted to crawl inside a small deep dark hole and hide there forever. No one would find me and no one would see the humiliation pouring out of my whole being. I wanted to fade away, like smoke from a fire or color from an old photo but sped up. I just wanted to go somewhere and be-be somewhere where no one could hurt me.

Where no one would think to look or know how to get there. I wanted to go someplace warm and loving. Some place I didn't have to be ashamed of who I was or what my home life was like. Somewhere far away from this stupid school and this stupid town, and my stupid mother. Some place where I was as safe from all this as I could be.

'Dimitri.' I say to no one but as soon as his name leaves my mouth I shoot off into the building.

I climb the stairs with the blurred noise of Lissa's voice behind me asking me a million questions I don't care to answer.

'Rose!'

I'm stopped in the hall when Christian screams my name and Jill concerned expressions meets my numb one. He knew that I now knew. 'Hey! Hey, you okay?' I shake my head no and before anyone could think to speak I begin walking the fastest my legs could go in search of the only person or thing that could get me through whatever was happening at the moment.

'Rose, where are you going? Are you okay, do you want us to walk home with you? I'll call Dimitri and we'll cut school for the rest of the day.' Jill tries to help but I'm too determined to take her up any offers.

I look into the classroom where I knew Dimitri would be for second period. I look through the small door window but can't spot his face, so I shoot off down the hall in search of him. We're walking for a few short minutes until Christian finally realizes what I'm doing and stops me.

'He took off, Rose.' It stops me, dead in the middle of the hall and I turn around to face him. He and the other two are out of breath, and I am as well. I face Christian and in our short silence he answers without me having to ask a single word.

'As soon as we told him he took off and told us to stay and wait for you. I don't know where he went though, he didn't say anything else but he was pissed Rose.'

The assurance in Christian eyes sparks something within me. All the questions surrounding my mind float about. Who took the pictures? Why did they do something like this? What the hell was I supposed to do now that practically everyone knew the truth about my mother, about what I worked so hard to hide?

The questions swim about in my mind and I want them all answered now but one. It pops up out of nowhere, quickly like a flash of light is turned on and off. 'Where did you get the pictures, Liss?'

All three of them come to at my panicked voice and it takes a second for her to comprehend that I'm asking her something. 'Um-uh they were sent to my phone.'

'Who sent it to you?'

The words leave my mouth firmly, spoken with no emotion what so ever and I'm not sure they've realized where I'm getting to with this. Lissa looks to her phone and presses the screen twice before her eyes widen in surprise. She looks up to me, meeting my awaiting eyes and then quickly glances back to the phone.

'Well, lots of people but I first got them from Adrian.'

By the time we spot the big crowd far off in the football field, it's too late. Adrian and Dimitri are on the ground, rolling around and throwing punches anywhere they could get them. I can spot them moving around as I move my way through the huge crowd of onlookers attempting to get to them.

I'm stopped as I see Avery standing in front with a smile on her face and uncaring eyes. I stay in that spot for I don't know how long. She doesn't see me yet, but I watch her. Her small beady eyes darken and her too red lips smirk in their evil manner.

For a second, I imagine myself flying through the crowd of people and directly into her. Our bodies crashing hard against each other as she falls back to the ground and I conveniently land on top of her. My fist ball up in an angry strength I didn't know I had and I let them fly at her face in a hostile speed. I don't let her move, I don't even let her breathe as I continue to throw my balled up fists to her pathetic face.

I yearn for blood to gush out of her face, any part of her face for that matter. I don't get off of her; I don't even take a minute to breathe myself as I punish her for all the wrongs she committed in her life. I give what every girl or guy she's done wrong to wants to give her; a good old fashion ass kicking. I let the dream carry me away but am suddenly brought back by a small hand on my shoulder.

'Rose, come on we have to stop it now. It's getting out of hand.' Jill says to me and I snap out of the best dream I've ever had without falling asleep.

Christian and I make our way through the crowd just as Jesse spots a teacher and makes his way to Adrian. 'Dimitri?'

He sat on top of Adrian not letting go of the strong choke hold his usual gentle hands had. Christian and I both call his name to try and snap him out of his rage. And even though I'm angry myself, even though I want nothing more than to let Dimitri have this moment and beat the shit out of that jerk. His words flash in my mind like a song I hear in the morning and can't help but sing throughout the day.

'Dimitri, let go. Please, let him go.' I would never in a million years ever beg for Adrian's life but this was the only way to get Dimitri off.

Christian and another student manage to pull Dimitri's body off of Adrian. The rage is still clear in his face, the anger like a fire in his eyes that only spreads and spreads. Until I touch him. My fingers make contact with his bruised cheek bone and his eyes snap to mine in a second flat.

We don't say anything to each other but in my head his words still float around. _I don't care what people think or do._ He was right; I shouldn't care what anyone thinks of me or does to me. Yes, this hurt but no matter how much it did or how embarrassing it was; I still had him. That was all that mattered.

'What are you doing? Huh, what was this going to solve?' He shakes his head no signaling nothing was getting solved but he just wanted to hit him.

'He did it, Roza, he hurt you. He sent those pictures to everyone and I couldn't just let him get away with-'

'So you belittle yourself to his level? It's not worth it Dimitri, it's not worth anything. Look at your face and your nose is bleeding again.' I talk in concern and lightly touch his nose as he winces in pain.

'You should see Ivashkov's face.' Christian murmured as Jesse held his shirt to Adrian's face and briefly moved it.

There in that quick flash of Adrian's face, I couldn't even make him out with all the blood pouring from I don't know where. 'Dimitri...'

I had about a million things to say to him but nothing came out of my mouth. My eyes were all over his handsome face, how he could be bleeding and bruised, and I still find him beautiful I don't know. I shake my head of the impure thoughts of wanting to kiss him and try to get him cleaned up as much as I could.

We don't talk as we stand off somewhere away from the fleeting students and Christian, Jill and Lissa. He gives me a knowing look as I keep my eyes to his only briefly. His breathing calms and his head hangs tiredly. 'Rose, I just-' I shake my head cutting him off and finally meet his eyes for a long while. He speaks anyway, ignoring my look of pleading him to just let this go.

'I'm sorry.' He's apologizing? 'I just-I just don't want to let you down, Roza.' How could he ever even think he's let me down?

'I just-I know you're angry with what I did but I couldn't- I couldn't... He was trying to hurt you. I just want to be with you and protect you, all of the time.' Dimitri looked at me with those sweet deep brown eyes and I couldn't shake him this time. He spoke with a look of pure honesty and I was trapped in the moment along with him. 'I know I could've handled things better and I'm sorry if I disappointed you. But I just- I love you, Rose and I protect the people I love.'

Whoa.

Love? Did he just say love? My head was spinning now, whether it's from all this chaos or the fact that he told me he loved me, I don't know. All I knew was that he was better than this and better than this high school bullshit that seems to never end.

'Then be with me... forget them, Dimitri. It doesn't matter what their saying or what they're doing. Who gives a shit, right? I grab his face gently in my small hands tell him everything he's once told me. 'We don't. You taught me that, you were the one who showed me that life could be complete shit but I can still be myself and someone will love me for it.'

I sound a little bit unsure of myself and I feel it too. As bad as I wanted to cry and hide far away, I didn't want to let anyone outside Dimitri see me weak, so I held it in. 'That's all that matters to me; us. The only person who can hurt me is you and you wouldn't think of it.' I let his face go in this silent unraveling of ours.

Yeah, he scared me with the L word but I wasn't afraid of him. I was afraid of what would come next and if he would eventually get tired of it.

**...**

Olena looks back and forth to the both of us as we sit on her couch and wait for her to say something. Dimitri was suspended for starting a fight and Adrian was expelled from school for what he had done to me. It turns out he happen to be at the bar and grill my mother was at. He took the pictures, sent them around to just about everyone and now he's paying the price. In my opinion; he deserves worse than getting kicked out of school but Dimitri handed him some good hits.

My mind goes back to Dimitri; look at all I've brought him. Suspension, disappointing his mother and a whole bunch of drama he doesn't need. He went after Adrian because it only made sense of who else would do anything like that to get back at me. Adrian knew what my mother was like and decided to seek his revenge for what happen with Viktoria.

What I didn't understand was why he finally went after me? He had a long time to use something against me but never did. I first assumed it was because they had longed forgotten about me but now I think he just waited for the right time to strike. He also needed to save his own ass against Avery; I think this was just the consequence of butting in and helping Viktoria.

Olena's brown eyes, much like her sons, hold no expression but I can tell she is disappointed in both me and her son. That's all because of me. I felt incredibly bad for all this. I mean what must she think of me now? Some dumb girl getting her son involved in a fight? It was all so tiring and over rated. I still felt the urge to just go hide somewhere and cry but I held it in.

'Well, young man, was it worth it?' Olena spoke in a calm tone as she kept her eyes right on Dimitri.

He looked down to the ground in what could have been shame but quickly shook it away and met his mother's eyes with no hesitation. 'Yes, mam'

His answer surprised her and me too. I shot a quick look to him but was drawn back to Olena as she spoke again. 'What do you have to say for yourself, Dimitri? Are you certain that there was no other way you could've resolved this matter?'

Well now I know where he got his awesome vocabulary skills from. Dimitri hung his head down again and as I watched him try to find an answer for her, I immediately felt even guiltier. He wouldn't be in trouble here or at school if it wasn't for me. I felt like I had to speak up and take the blame for everything. All I did by saving Viktoria was make things worse for everyone.

'It was my fault, Ms. Belikov.'

My small voice surprised them both as they turned to look at me. Olena had curiosity plain in her eyes where Dimitri expression was blank. I knew what he was thinking though, don't try to save me Rose, he was at fault too. Except he wasn't, well, only for going after Adrian but everything else was my doing.

'That fight... It was-it was stupid. It was because of something I had done to that guy and he got me back for it. Dimitri was just trying to defend me but that's all he's guilty of... the rest of it was me. This whole thing is my fault-'

'Actually I was the one who went up to him and hit him. In the face, it was more my fault really, I wasn't even sure he was to blame. I just got so mad that this was happening I just reacted. I'm sorry mama.'

Just as I opened my mouth to keep my argument alive, Olena silenced us both by holding her hand up. Dimitri and I stayed quiet while she gave us both an odd stare. I watched with careful eyes of what she was going to say. The moment was tense as she still hadn't said anything but kept looking at us both.

'Dimka, go and see if your grandmother needs anything.' Dimitri opened his mouth to say something but all Olena did was throw a look in his direction and he stood silently leaving the room.

He glanced at me quickly before heading out the door and his eyes were as confused as mine. Now my head was everywhere at the moment. I didn't know what to feel or think or know what Olena wanted with me. I was still hurt from what had happen, still confused about Dimitri's confession and most certainly tired of all the drama that has impacted my life.

Olena sat down beside me, quietly as ever she placed her folded hands on her lap and faced me. I felt small in her gaze, I don't know why but it was like she could see all sorts of things staring at me like this. I hated being and feeling so vulnerable by someone I didn't know very well but she seemed to have already known me or so it felt like.

'I appreciate your efforts Rose but please don't apologize for my son's stupidity.'

'But it is my fault, Olena, he got into that fight because of me-' She held her hand up once again and I went quiet.

'Seeing as how I'm never going to get either of you to tell me what truly caused this event or why Viktoria has been walking around sulking all day, I'm not going to push for answers, yet.' Unknowingly, a deep sigh escapes me and I look to my lap where her eyes couldn't seep into me. 'I am however going to confide something in you, Rose. Something I think you and Dimitri both feel like you have to do.'

This gets me to look up to her. I was confused and it only added to the piles and piles of emotions I've been feeling all day. 'What?'

She smiles softly and reaches for my hand squeezing it reassuringly. I swallowed wearily as she held my attention but calmed me a little. 'You've done something to my son, Rose. Something that causes him great happiness but also a great burden but he has no problem carrying it.

See my son is very loyal to those who mean something to him and he will always protect his own. It's a Belikov thing. That's just the thing though; his burden will cause you friction because it is your job to be the protector. So letting him take credit for what happen weighs in on you and you feel you have to take the guilt.'

Olena pauses as she thinks over what to say next and I'm floored. It was like she was suddenly in my mind reading my every thought. She knew exactly what I was feeling and thinking, she knew me and how my mind worked. She also knew her son and I ached a little for how much love and adoration she carried when she talked about her children.

'Sometimes your heart clouds your head and you act out of instinct, yes?' I nod. 'This is what Dimitri did by fighting with that boy over whatever was going on. It wasn't out of his best character but it was out of his heart and I know my son; he always follows his heart. Especially with you.'

Olena smiles widely as we hear Dimitri talking with his grandmother in the kitchen nearby. They were speaking Russian and I didn't know a word of what they were saying but I didn't really care. I was too busy trying to comprehend what exactly Olena was trying to tell me.

After a minute, I still hadn't figured it out and as I looked up to Olena to ask, she wore a knowing smile. 'He means so much to me, Olena; I want you to know that.' She nods and pats my hand.

She reached out and put her hand lightly on my shoulder. She smiled once again and then stood up straight signaling the end of our conversation but left with some last words. 'I know dear, you mean as much if not more to him. It's why you're protecting each other, no?' I nod in agreement again and finally see her point.

'Sometimes you're blessed with some people coming into your life and sometimes your blessed with some leave it. It looks as though you've been lucky enough to have that happen to you.' I return her kind smile as she turns to leave and almost burst into tears.

I got what she was saying, fighting the need to cry as I didn't want to fall apart yet. Everything she's just said is true and she didn't yell at me like I thought she would. I've never had anyone like Dimitri in my life before. I was always too busy protecting Meredith and myself from everything else outside. Now that I've got Dimitri though it was okay for things to be different. I didn't have to feel guilty for him doing what he did for me.

It was a relief actually, something I didn't have to stress over as I try and move on with my life. Lots of bad shit could and most likely would happen to me but as long as I had people like Dimitri and Meredith. I would be able to get back up and hold my head up high again. Even though, I was still fighting tears, I had to be strong. The day wasn't over.

'Are you okay?' My eyes snap to his low voice and I nod as he walks to me from the doorway. 'Bad day, huh?'

I nod and smile sadly at his words. He comes to sit beside me and I sink into his warm frame. I sigh and rest my head on his shoulder as a quiet break from all the madness eases us. I sit and think about everything, about Meredith and Dimitri, and those pictures and all the people who seen them.

I was embarrassed yes, but I was also somewhat relieved. Now I didn't have to kill myself hiding that from everyone anymore. I didn't have to pretend like nothing was wrong, sure I had to walk back into that place tomorrow but no matter what anyone said or did, it wasn't going to change anything about Janine. It never had and it probably never will. So I would just deal, I guess.

'Your mom is really great, you know that?' He laughs lowly and I feel him nod his head.

'Yeah, she's pretty amazing. I mean I didn't even get grounded or anything. Well, not yet at least.' We laugh and the rumble of his chest as he does this makes me want to close my eyes and sleep forever.

He was so sweet and kind, he was loving and protective and for some reason unknown to me; he was mine. That revelation alone sparked something within me. What he said earlier at school came slamming back into my mind and I stop breathing for a short second. He said he loved me and he proved everything to me that he said he would. So what was the problem then? Nothing I realized, it was just me being me and protecting myself from something I didn't need to.

I stopped questioning whether or not I deserved him. I stopped thinking he was going to do something that changed my mind about him. I had every reason to love him back; even Jill and Olena said I could depend on him. And I would, not too much but just enough to know that I finally had someone in my life worth keeping.

And I wanted nothing more than to keep him.

'You know, technically you're not grounded yet...' He nods and plays with some of my hair. 'So if you're still free later, you should escape and come over.'

He looked down to me and his face was blank as he decided this silently in his mind. I watched him go over it and tried to show him every reason to say yes with just my eyes. For some reason we both felt like this would change things about us, especially the way we feel. Finally after a long silent minute of him thinking he gave a slight nod.

**...**

'Where's Dimitri?'

'He's at home. Something happen at school and we got to go home early today.' Meredith walks slowly beside me as we step into our yard from Alberta's.

'Is he going to come over today?' I nod as we settle into the house.

After dinner, I finished my homework and got Meredith ready for bed. 'What are we reading tonight, Mer bear?' She didn't say anything for a while and as I stood in front of her bookshelf, I turned to see her quietly playing with her fingers all tucked into bed.

'Hey, is everything okay?' She shakes her head no and I walk to sit at her bedside. We're quiet for a few moments until I get her to stop fidgeting with her hands and she finally looks up to meet my eyes.

'Is something wrong, Roses? You were really quiet all day, are you and Dimitri having a fight?' I sigh with a heavy heart. I hadn't noticed all the thoughts swarming in my head had kept from acting like nothing was wrong. I just went about usual business, cleaning and homework, and tending to Meredith.

I completely forgot she noticed when I wasn't myself or when something was bothering me. That was Mer though, surprising me with how perceptive she was with everything around her and especially me. I shake my head no answering her last question and lay down beside her as I try to explain what happen today but protect her from worrying about it.

'Mer...' I sigh frustrated at myself for not knowing how to explain this to my five year old sister.

'I hope you guys don't break up. I really like Dimitri and I know you do too.'

'Yeah, how do you know that?' She shrugs and turns to face me as we both lay there on her small bed, taking the mild moment in as we didn't have these too often.

'Because when your with him, you're really happy, Roses. You smile and laugh a lot. And he teaches me how to skate, and I can ask him about anything and he knows it because all the books he reads.' I laugh at her answer and move some frizzy red hair from her face.

'That's why you don't want us to break up because Dimitri is your friend?' She nods. In her blue eyes though this reassuring shine showed brightly and what she says next proves the point Dimitri was trying to make to me all along.

'He's always there when we need him to be. He helps me with my homework and when I had Henry. He doesn't talk bad about mommy and he isn't mean to me. He loves us, Roses, he loves you the mostest.'

I smile and tap her nose. 'The mostest? That's not a word, dork.' She laughs and we began a tickle fight.

**.D.**

'Dimka?' I freeze at the bottom of the stairs and try not to move a muscle.

It doesn't work however because my grandmother just walks up to me from the couch and turns on the hallway light. So much for sneaking out of here.

'Yeva.'

She squinted her eyes at me and looked me up and down. Her face contorted into a sour expression as I waited for her to shout to my mother that I was caught leaving after being grounded for the fight.

'What's wrong, grandmother?' I ask a little worried.

'You stink, too much of that shave after, Dimka.'

'It's aftershave-'

'Dont correct your elders, boy. And where are you going at this hour? You're supposed to be in your room, no?' I swallow a little afraid of my grandmother's intentions. I nod slightly worried she's going to shout I've escaped and my mother is going to rush down the stairs and go off on me in Russian.

I had to go though and I would gladly take more punishment. 'Roza, needs me.'

Yeva looks at me in question and then nods once, moving from in front of me and letting me pass her to the front door. I'm a little surprised at this because there's nothing she likes better than getting us in trouble when we know we're not supposed to be doing something we are.

'Be careful with that one, Dimka. She's got a big challenge ahead of her, she's going to need someone at her side that isn't going to disappoint.'

'What do you mean?' Yeva rolls her eyes as I place my sweater on and watch her roll her eyes while she walks up the stairs slowly.

'You're a smart boy, Dimitri, figure it out and don't let your mother catch you sneaking around.'

**...**

'Hey.' I kiss her cheek as she greets me at the door.

'Come on.' She says as she grabs my hand and leads me directly to her room. She closes the door lightly and I go to sit on her bed.

'What's going on, Roza?' She was acting sort of strange. Answering the door in a hurry and racing me to her room. Usually we lay around in the living room with Meredith. We only hang out in her room when Meredith is asleep. Which I'm guessing she is since Rose doesn't seem to want to waste time.

She's wearing boy shorts and a baseball sleeve shirt, she looked absolutely beautiful. The second I'm comfortable on the bed, she stands in between my legs and kisses my nose lightly. 'I missed you.' I laugh softly as my arms make their way around her body and bring her closer to my own.

'We were together just some hours ago, Roza.' I hug her to me and keep her there for as long as she wants to. She breathes deep and relaxes in my hold.

She had a long exhausting day and I wanted nothing more than to just hold her here until she felt strong enough to be herself again. 'I know but with everything going on... I just-I need to just breathe, you know?' I nod and squeeze her closer to myself.

I knew, I knew what she meant and what she needed from me. I wouldn't hold back from her either, I'd give her all my strength if she needed it. We stood there, me sitting on the bed and her clutching herself to me for warmth. For some kind of sanity.

My long legs bend over the mattress of her bed and the room is quiet with the peace surrounding us. Her small hands move from around my neck and down my chest slowly beginning to push me back onto the bed. Our eyes meet and never part as she sets herself on top of me and my arms instantly wrap themselves around her small frame.

She leans in slowly, almost hesitantly reaching for my lips and I give in to her. Once they meet in the slow and softest of kisses, it's like the spark that ignited a fire because it was all touching rubbing and our lips rarely parted after that. On the bed our bodies met with urgency. Her fingers move my shirt up and stretch across the warming skin of my chest. I dig my own fingers into her hips touching her soft skin. I take my sweater off and she gets my shirt off no problem.

We throw our shirts on to the floor and I turn her over to hover above her. My hands grip her hair, her leg wraps itself around my lean body and our kisses deepen passionately.

'You can touch me, it's okay.' I peek out from her kissing her neck and read her eyes.

She takes my hand from out of her hair and brings it to her breast and I'm grasping it before I even notice what I'm doing. We kiss again and as our tongues touch making the waves of electricity pulse all over again. Her hands are warm all over my chest and gripping my shoulder blades. Then soon enough, before I even comprehend that their moving her fingers are unbuckling my belt. The metal clinks and the sound splashes me out of the moment.

I stop and move my body above her not touching her but still over her. 'What? What's wrong, too fast?'

She asks softly and her hands are now moving the falling strands of hair falling out of my leather band. 'Rose... I want-I want you to be sure.'

She smiles wide and beautifully. Her eyes shine with pure love and her arms move quickly to bring my body right back to hers. 'I'm _very_ sure. The surest.'

I laugh and wrap my long arms around her once again. 'That didn't even make any sense, Roza.'

She shrugs and moves her arms around my neck while her legs wrap themselves around my lower half, pushing us together in an intimate way. I know she feels what she's done to me and the lustful glint in her eyes lets me know I was right.

'Oh, well' She says and then we're kissing so deep and passionately, I couldn't help the movement of my hips as they grind into hers.

As we're kissing and she removes my pants from me all the way, I lay back on top of her. I move in to kiss her softly and when we break for air, her hands hold my face just inches from her own. Her eyes are heavy with emotion and stare at me with slight disbelief. 'I'm in love with you, Dimitri, with all of you... everything about you. The way you look at me, the things you say and how you are with Meredith.' She takes a moment to breathe and focus on me. 'You-You're the only real thing about me and I love you.'

I smile widely as my mouth could possibly let me and look back to her with everything I feel for her in my eyes. 'I love you, Roza.'

**Apologies for the late chapter, ive been going through some writers block and ive been like super busy. So please bare with me, i know this chapter isnt the greatest but the next chapter has been started and will be better, hopefully.**

**Let me know what you think and thanks for reading (:**


	15. Chapter 15

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 15:** In the winds of your cape.

'It wasn't what I thought it'd be like...'

He laughs quietly, 'No?'

I turn my head to face him as much as I could since he was still on top of me, his head resting beside mine. 'No. It was better.'

Dimitri chuckled lowly as he squeezed my body to his warm one. It was only a couple of minutes after the second time tonight and my body was as relaxed as it has ever been. His long lean toned body kept mine warm under it, he covered about half of me and with his deep breathing he soothed me right into comfort I was currently surrounded in. I was okay.

He tried to move off of me as we had finished but I didn't want to let him go. He tried to reason with me but I just held him tighter to my body and whispered a plead for him to stay right where he was. He made me feel safe and loved, relaxed and content all at the same time. It was as if he was my peace of mind after such a hectic and chaotic day. I didn't want to lose that, not yet.

So he stood there, clutching me to his wonderfully fit body. Now I know no one is perfect, even the models in clothing or cologne ads had flaws but Dimitri didn't. He was perfect in all his naked glory, at least to me he was. The cuts of his muscles were in all the right places, they flexed as I touched him lightly all over and I couldn't help but remain in awe. His skin felt smooth and hot under my touch, and his sharp scent flowed around us. Yup, I got it bad but I didn't care. Why should I when I have very little good in my life to care for?

'Are you okay?' He asked as the silence in my room covered us.

I was fine; in fact I had mostly forgotten what had happen earlier, sort of. 'Yeah, I'm okay. You?'

I turn my head again to catch his smile and touch it lightly with my fingertips. He sighed, the air moving across my forehead as my eyes were even with his smirking lips causing goose bumps to spread across my body. It was like a cool breeze and gave me a reason to pull myself closer to him. A moment of silence occurs after his arms wrap tighter around me tucking me into his toned chest.

'I'm good, Roza. I'm good.' I smile and close my eyes as we hold each other close in my bed. It was still night time but in the early morning hours.

I've never in my life felt as good as I do at this moment in time. No one's ever touched me or treated me the way Dimitri just did. He was gentle and slow with every touch and moves he made, and I felt alive as we moved together. I never thought love could feel this way, I was convinced otherwise. Things or people like Dimitri were never going to happen to me, those were myths too good to be true. However, here I am, wrapped in a strong loving hold of the greatest person I know.

I had come close to sex once with Adrian, in our frantic kisses and his eager hands though it didn't feel right. It didn't feel like he was going to be caring or loving about it, it felt hurried and frantic. It felt rushed and not in a good way. I wasn't comfortable with him but I was with Dimitri. The moment our bodies touched and my fingers made contact with his skin, it felt right. Like this reassuring wave of peace washed over us. He wasn't after certain things, he wasn't afraid to be real with me. He just wanted to love me and make me feel better.

And he certainly made me feel better. Twice.

'Do you need to check on Meredith?' His soft deep voice flows through his chest and rumbles me.

'She sleeps like the dead, Comrade... and I don't really feel like getting up.' He laughs lowly and moves his hands over my back, setting my skin of fire. The good fire, if there is such a thing.

And before I knew it, we were both sound asleep. Well, for a little while.

Now the morning after you've proclaimed your love to someone and then proceeded to make love with that someone, usually you wake up in a good mood. Especially after some super awesome love making that you had with said someone.

In the movies you would wake up in a blissful like state. You were happy, excited and couldn't wipe the smile off your face. The world was all sunshine and rainbows, fluffy bunnies and you know; happy shit. Unfortunately, this wasn't the movies and that wasn't the case for me. Oh no, see I woke up to a door slamming, yelling and Meredith's soft cries.

_Meredith._

My eyes snap open and a sharp breath escapes me. Dimitri lay behind me, cradling my clothe-less body with his own. I listen in the quiet of my room as the yelling got further and further away. It sounded like they were in the kitchen now but was first yelling in the hallway. Janine and Hans were never really subtle about their arguments, but this one stirred something in me.

Carefully and slowly I remove myself from my peaceful sleeping boyfriend and sit up in bed. I listened; not yet wanting to interfere if it was just another argument about whom out of those two drunks was the drunkest. I sat there for a couple of seconds still slightly in sleep wondering if I did really hear Meredith crying.

And then I did, and in a flash I shot out of bed reaching for clothes to put on so I could make my way to her. Dimitri stirred but I didn't glance back to see if he had awoke and instead rushed to where I heard Meredith. She was in the restroom, through the crack of the open door I saw her fold her arms across her chest as if hiding herself away. She sat in the bathtub, slightly shaking from the cold water I'm sure.

As soon as I open the door her eyes met mine and the tears blurred her sight.

'Whats wrong, Mer? What happened?' She shook her head no and curled into herself, still hiding but almost looking to keep warm.

She was taking a bath since there was still water in the tub and her pink Hello Kitty loofa floated around with the suds. I grab the big fluffy towel she loves to use and unplug the drain as we can both still hear Hans and my mother screaming at each other.

'Mer, dry yourself off and get dressed. Quickly, okay?' She nods still crying but slowly doing what I told her.

I gather her clothes and help dry her hair but both our heads snap to the door as we hear a crash and things breaking in the living room. I turn back to Meredith deciding to help her dress faster so I could take her to my room and away from the chaos, but she froze in place as I grabbed the towel to do so.

'Mer, what's wrong?' She shakes her head no once again, keeping her eyes away from me but still crying silently. 'Mer, just ignore them, okay? Nothing is going to happen to her, I promise. I won't let it, hurry and get dressed.'

She shakes her head again and her body trembles beneath the towel. I pull her close to me and hug her shaking body to give her some kind of warmth but as she squeezes her eyes shut and clutches her arms around me something clicks. She wasn't shaking because she was cold from the water or because she was afraid of their argument turning into something that would hurt my mother, which she often worried about. No she was scared, yes, but something had already happened to have scared her.

'Meredith, what happened?' I pull her arms away but still keep her close and watch her terrified eyes water all over again. 'Mer, please, tell me what happened?' I beg.

It was bad, it was real bad and I got that deep sinking hole in the pit of my stomach that proved I wasn't going to like it. I expected the worse, the absolute worse because when I had hugged my little sister's shaky body to my own, my eyes hit an all too familiar sight. The sight of the window, where there was an ashtray on the shelf and a cigar still burning some light smoke into the room.

My mind a chaotic swirl of ugly thoughts and my eyes searching every inch of Meredith's face for something that wasn't supposed to be there. A deep fearful breath escapes me and I clutch Meredith's shoulders in my hands. My voice cracking with worry and I'm on the verge of crying as I ask her once again.

'Meredith, please tell me what happened, please!' I beg her with pleading watering eyes.

She heaves and sniffles before finally answering me. Her small fingers and hands wipe away the never ending stream of tears as she squeaks out her words. 'He-he wouldn't get out. He wouldn't- he wouldn't leave the-the restroom, Roses.'

My heart sinks, my breathing ragged and my anger- boy my anger was raising with every breath. Meredith let out a shaky breath before continuing but as she spoke all her words smashed and tangled together. A blur in the background of my mind and body rising with fury.

'I was taking a bath and-and mommy went to get a cup to rinse my hair and-and he came in... He wouldn't leave, Roses, I told him to get out and he kept looking at me. Watching me and scaring me. He wouldn't get out when mommy told him to either and they started fighting-'

In my shock, my body reacted on its own. The image of Hans siting in the restroom watching my little sister bathe kept replying and replying. Did he touch her? Did he try to touch her? Was he thinking of touching her or doing something to her? What the hell was he doing in here scaring Meredith like that?

A thousand thoughts circled my mind, a thousand more images of what could have happen or what he was thinking of doing kept swimming inside my head. I wanted to cry, I wanted to kill him and I wanted to hide Meredith far far away from here. Inside my mind my thoughts were everywhere and I couldn't get a hold of them to even breathe.

'Roza? Roza, are in there? Are you okay?' His panicked but calm voice snaps me out of my shock or daze or whatever that was.

He knocks softly and I come to, racing to put clothes on Meredith and yelling for him to hold on.

As soon as she's dressed I open the door to Dimitri, barefoot and his shirt thrown on inside out as his jeans weren't even snapped. As soon as his worried eyes hit mine a wave of tears threatened to escape but I had used all my will to swallow them. Dimitri steps into the restroom as Hans and my mother keep arguing; he looks over me and Meredith checking to make sure we're okay.

He opens his mouth to speak but another crash in the living room stops him. I turn to Meredith and pick her up, handing her to Dimitri and pushing them out of the bathroom.

'Take her to my room and close the door. Meredith you don't leave until I come to get you, understand?' She nods and Dimitri wastes no time carrying her to my room.

Once I see he's inside, I turn my head to the end of the hallway and listen to Hans beat my mother. I don't think, I don't hesitate either, my feet just move on their own account and soon enough I'm in the kitchen. My eyes land on Hans, he stands over my mother with his fists ready for what look to be another swing of his fist. He yells something I don't comprehend right before I sweep past the kitchen table, not even looking at the glass bowl center piece we kept there as I scoop it up and aim for the back of Hans' head.

I don't hit him though because he turned around before I could smash it against him. He smiles and releases my mother's body and then steps forward in a stalking manner. Like he was the lion and I was the prey, he was just going to play with me before causing the damage. I wasn't going to back down though, so showing I had no fear of him I throw the glass bowl straight to his face but he dodges it.

It lands on the tiled kitchen floor with a smash and in shards. Once my mind takes not of the mess on the floor, I'm too late. Hans' rugged huge greasy fingers have my throat in their grasps and he squeezes with everything he's got. I choke and gasp and my hands swing at him to release me but all he does is smile in a predatory snide. He brings me close to his face for a small second and my nose burns at the stench of cigar and whiskey.

'Think you could out smart me, Rosemarie, you're just like your worthless mother!' He shouts before throwing my dangling body to the living room floor hard.

I land in heap and gasp for air to reach my lungs through the dryness of my throat coughing. Hans leers over me and my eyes find my mother on the floor bleeding from her nose and clutching her ribs. I then move my gaze to the shithead above me and finally am able to breathe correctly again, but he grabs my legs and starts dragging me into the kitchen.

The carpet burns my back as my shirt rides up and I try to kick to get him to lose his hold. He laughs and drops my legs and I'm now next to my weeping mother. Hans reaches for the old iron pan that was left in the kitchen from so long ago and flips it in his hand like he's a professional chef. He swings it and I flinch at how close he was to hitting my mother, he does it again but this time I know he's aiming for her and on instinct I throw myself over her to block the hit but it never comes.

I hear a break of what sounded like wood, it was loud and sounded like it took all the strength in the world to swing whatever it was. I open my eyes at the drop of the pan and turn to meet worried brown eyes; my eyes move down and notice the broken skateboard in Dimitri's hands, and Hans on the floor seemingly out cold.

Without even a seconds hesitation I stand up and fly to Dimitri's arms. He hugs me close and I feel all the anger fear and hurt wanting to leave me. I clutch my eyes shut and release a deep tired breath. Dimitri just holds me to him and my eyes water at the embarrassment, anger and fear that was just coursing through my body. I wanted to cry; right here and right now, I just wanted to let it all out.

'It's okay. It's okay, Roza, we're okay.' He whispers to me and squeezes me tight to him. My breath hitches and I'm about to lose it when he kisses my forehead and whispers again. 'Don't cry. Don't cry, Roza, just hold it. Hold it, okay, Meredith still needs you.'

I couldn't help it though, him telling me not to cry just made me want to cry more. I knew Meredith needed me, I knew I had to be strong and protect her. This was a final straw of sorts; my watery eyes met my mother who was still on the floor bleeding and out of it. And it made the fight not to cry a whole lot harder.

Dimitri kept me in his embrace and kept whispering calming words to me, but it helped very little. Why? Because with him I could lose myself. I could look like I just walked right out of a train wreck or cry my eyes out for another shity moment in my life and he would still think of me as the most beautiful thing in the world. And finally realizing that, knowing that; it just made me love him even more.

I think that's also part of the reason why I was crying, because I realized I would always have him. I could never know my father who left before I was born. I could lose my mother to alcohol and abusive men, and I could even lose the right for a childhood to take care of Meredith. But he would always be there. In my life, no one was ever permanent and I grown accustom to that. And yet, here he still loved me like I was just the same; that meant the world to me.

A few deep breaths and sniffles and I manage to calm myself down. Dimitri manage to drag Hans huge disgusting body outside and with the help of Alberta they called the police. My mother was in the restroom tending to her broken nose and bleeding lip as I was currently cleaning up the glass in the kitchen.

My thoughts came back to what had just happened and all the stupid shit that happen before. I was done trying to get my mother to fix her life, this time was much too close to involving Meredith and I didn't-wouldn't let that happen again. My eyes wondered over to her as she sit on the couch silent and wrapped in a pink wool blanket she's had since she was a baby.

I felt like shit, like I had let her down somehow not protecting her from that asshole. She sniffled, keeping her eyes down to her hands as she lightly rolled her crayons over the cushion not having the will to do her favorite thing ever and color. I sigh as I let the will to ask her if she's okay go and let her have a moment for herself. I knew when she was ready, she would talk to me and too much has gone on for that time to be now.

A thought occurred to me as I started sweeping the glass up again. The sink from the bathroom shuts off and I knew we wouldn't see Janine until she decided it was okay to show her face and act like nothing happen. Something needed to change and soon.

This wasn't fair to Meredith or me that we had to live like this because of our mother. 'Who would want all this stupid shit in their life anyway...' I mumble to no one. My head in a place that had me wondering if maybe I needed to give Meredith up and give her a fair chance at a real childhood. One where she could take a bath, color and be a kid in peace.

'I'm not worth all this.'

Another mumble to no one as I think about Dimitri too. He saved us; he hit Hans pretty hard in the back of the head with that board and saved us.

And he didn't even have to, another person I should let go.

'Yes, you are. You're worth it all, Roza, and I'm not going anywhere.' He said lowly behind me. I froze, not hearing when he came in and my head hangs in the fight not to lose myself yet.

He hugs me from behind and the tears can't help but fall. I sniffle and try to keep a brave face as not to worry Meredith who sitting a few feet on the couch already scared and worried on her own.

'I'm not going anywhere, I've told you. Promise.' He says as his arms wrap around me and I turn, squeezing him hard to gain control of myself.

'Okay.' I mumble through the tears.

**...**

Back at school and nothing seem to change. Dimitri walked me to my first class and waited for me after. He held my hand or wrapped his arm around my waist and kept kissing my cheek every now and then. He wasn't afraid of what anyone was saying or whispering about. He didn't care and after my morning class neither did I.

It wasn't until I went into the girl's locker room to collect my stuff and empty my locker since I wasn't cheering anymore that those thoughts had finally set in.

I spotted Avery before walking in the room but decided against coming back later since I had promised Mer we would get a pizza after school. I figured she could use the distraction and Dimitri, Jill and Christian were even going with us. So sucking it up and holding my head high, I walked into the locker room and headed straight for my old locker.

It was sort of metaphoric in a way, cleaning out the locker of my old self. The person I thought I had to be in order to keep myself somewhat sane, now I was happy to leave all that behind and just be myself. Not the new me but the real me. The one who didn't care what other people thought or said about her. The me where I was loved by a great guy and made some great friends. Friends I could be myself with and they wouldn't judge.

'Well, well, well look who it is. You know, Lissa and I are team captains now, right? Sorry to say but we're currently not accepting try-outs. So why don't you go back to your nerd herd friends, Rose.'

I shake my head and smile at the ridiculous attempt Avery tries to get a rise out of me with. I didn't have time for it, nor did I care. With the police reports and questioning, and Meredith, I was tired and not in the mood. And also there was a super-hot Russian waiting for me just outside the door that I couldn't wait to make-out with for the tenth time today.

'So how's Viktoria, still trying to pretend we don't exist? I see her walk the other way when she spots me in the hall between classes. She apart of your loser squad too?' I continue to ignore her and begin folding my gym clothes and placing them in my back pack.

'Oh, I see the silent treatment huh? Oh geez, Rose you really got me with that one.' She laughs as does some of the girls standing and dressing to the side of her.

Lissa is next to me, slowly changing into her shorts readying for their practice but I don't look at her. It was sad to say but I had lost her too in my breakaway from the wrong crowd. After the whole fiasco with Adrian, Lissa once again distanced herself from me and I figured it was only a matter of time before she chose sides. I knew I wouldn't win that one but I understood her choice. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do and although it sucks, it's okay. Hell, if I had a chance at good school like Lehigh I would probably be in her shoes too. Although I don't think I would've chose them over my best friend.

'How's mother dearest, Rose? Still boozing herself into oblivion and letting your step-daddy toss her around?' At this, I admit it gets me but I ignore it and slam the now empty locker shut ready to leave all this shit behind. 'You know just cause you got Adrian expelled doesn't mean shit. His dad owns half the town what's some stupid little girl whose mother can't control her alcohol intake going to do to him?'

'He should've dumped you a long time ago. Don't worry though, he just brushed you off and got on with his life. He came to a real woman who could give him everything he needs.'

I smile at her words and turn to face her. Her snarky attitude was nothing to me and she could talk about me all she wanted but my mother was a different story. I hated protecting Janine but when it came down to it, she was still my mother and even though she wasn't a good one. It didn't give Avery the right to rub that in my face.

'Yeah, until he meets another "real woman" who can give him more. You think because he talked you into bed that he's going to stay loyal to you? Adrian is a bigger slut that you are.' Her eyes darken and she glares at me.

I didn't care though; in fact it boggles me why I ever did in the first place.

'You must be one miserable person to still be trying to ruin everyone else's lives. You know what's sad; you wasted all that time climbing the ladder of success by sleeping with just about every guy you had to in order to get to where you are. I didn't even have to flash one inch of skin to get to the top. All I had to do was agree to a date with your precious Adrian and bam; I was the bee's knees.'

She scoffs and folds her arms across her chest as every girl in this locker room is stunned silent. The truth hurt, that I learned the hard way and so would she.

'You know what's even sadder? After all that you said and every guy you did; your just going to end up some washed up girl. You're going to regret the people you wronged in your life and every morning you'll wake up this ugly person.

It's a shame really, you're a beautiful girl, Avery Lazar; outside. Inside you're just some empty, no real feeling, scared little girl. Just some invisible being with nothing interesting about her but was once popular in high school. Your greatest achievement in life. No one's going to give a shit about your reputation in the real world, so have fun with that.'

There, turning around and putting the strap of my back pack over my shoulder I walked away from the stunned crowd and the quiet as ever Avery.

**...**

'She isn't herself...' The words float around as I watch Meredith sit on the couch and quietly watch cartoons.

I was worried. Since that day, two days ago she has been not herself. She slept with me every night since then and when it's time for a bath I'm not allowed to leave the bathroom until she's done. And she always asks if Dimitri is going to be with us on our walks to and from school, even asking if he could stay overnight.

It's obvious to me that Meredith now has a different view of my mother and has begun questioning her trust in her. I don't think I'm myself as well, school was okay because I had Dimitri by my side but when he leaves for work I tend to float back into that ticking time bomb of losing myself in all that has happen recently and crying my eyes out.

He was right though, I had to be strong for Meredith. She still needed me to take care of her and keep her safe from things like what had happen. The police even said we would need some time to get back to normal, but were we ever normal? So I had to convince myself to save all the grief and sadness for later. One of us had to be strong and I wouldn't burden Meredith when she's only a kid.

'It's going to take time, Roza, he really scared her. She'll get there, if she's anything like her older sister, she'll get there.' He squeezed my shoulder in comfort and wraps an arm around my waist with his chin at the top of my head.

I don't know how or why, but I'm through questioning and trying to figure out how I ended up with this perfect boyfriend of mine. And I'm done worrying if this life of mine would cost me him.

**...**

'And then when no one raised their hands, I did, so I get to bring Henry home again. Is that okay, Roses?'

Two weeks from that day and we haven't seen or heard from Hans. My mother isn't talking to me and is gone before I wake up and home after I'm asleep. Meredith still won't go back in her bed but I'm just glad she's actually happy about something today.

'Yeah, that's fine. You can bring him home again.' She smiles widely for the first time in a while and it warms my heart.

Dimitri was hopefully right after all and she would pull through with some time and reassurance from me. Dimitri walked us half way today because he had to get to the bookstore. So I had distracted Meredith's worry over what she had done at school for the day.

'Do you think Dimitri can help me take care of him again? I like when he helps, he knows a lot about turtles.' I nod and unlock the front door and then immediately slam it shut.

I glance to see if Alberta is home and lock the front door again grabbing Mer's hand and walking her next door. 'Hey, Mer, you know what I forgot something at school. I'm going to go get it real quick while you stay here with Alberta, okay?'

She stops walking as we're half way to the door and I turn to meet her worried eyes. She blinks in total silence, waiting for me to tell her the truth but I don't want to right now. I couldn't, she was so happy a moment ago that I didn't want to smash her progress already.

'What?' I question as she let's my hand go and looks down to the cement. 'Mer, hey, I'll be right back.'

'You're lying, Roses.' I sigh.

I hear Alberta open her front door and glance at her; knowingly she nods and waits for Meredith at the door. 'Mer bear, I promise you I will be right back, okay?'

She doesn't look up to me and I hate lying to her but I couldn't let her walk into that house with what I saw. I grab her chin and get her to look at me. In my gaze there's nothing but assurance, she knew I would never let anything like that happen to her again, and that I was keeping us safe. Keeping her safe.

'I'll be right back, kid, ten minutes at the most.' She nods and then makes her way to Alberta.

As soon as the door closes I wait to see Meredith look out the window as she always does when I leave her here. Sure enough after a long minute the curtain moves and so I jog off into our yard.

As soon as I open the door, there she is; passed out right in front of the door. A puddle of what smelled to be scotch on the ground directly under her mouth.

'Shit.' I curse, the next thing I know I'm picking up a bottle of whiskey and the empty bottle of scotch then throwing them away.

'Mom, get up!' I say loudly. I move throughout the house quickly cleaning and scanning for anything that might set Meredith off. 'Mom!'

I make my rounds to each room and all of them are clear. The kitchen had a bunch of dishes in them and smell of the liquor was strong since it was spilled on the carpet. I soak a dish towel in the sink and ring it out ready to scrub the floor clean and put Janine to sleep in her room so the coast is clear to bring back Meredith.

Once the towel is ready I make my way out of the kitchen and into the living room, and then I stop. A few feet from my mother's body, the house is total and completely silent. That fear, that what if thought courses through my mind. A flash of the first time I found her passed out in her room goes off and I have to shake my head of it.

My breathing increases, my mind spins with is she or isn't she. My eyes stay on her move less body, I can't tell if she's breathing or if not. The fear rises, the lump in my throat large and increasingly difficult to swallow. My eyes still on her chest and then they move to her hands and legs. I check if she's moving or even for a little twitch. But I can't tell and it scares me more than anything.

I swallow back the fear that's trying to consume me. I stare for a second longer and try to talk myself out of the doubt and panic that's swimming over me. _She's okay, Rose_. _She's just passed out, Rose_. _She's okay, just asleep, she's okay._

I swallow the lump in my throat and close my eyes as I finally work up enough courage to check her pulse. My fingers shaky and I almost forget to breathe. Once they make contact though I swallow the fear again and concentrate on finding a pulse. I leave my fingers on her neck for a long amount of time, unsure if I feel anything or not. I take a deep breath and release, once again trying to get my head together and then there it is.

It's faint but it's there and once I feel it again, I stand and reach for the phone. 'I need an ambulance, it's my mother!'

**I think one last chapter and then this story is over buddies, its sad I know but onto other things, right? Let me know what you think.**

**Thanks for reading (:**


	16. Chapter 16

****Richelle Mead owns these characters.

**Chapter 16:** A kind of love unlike any other…

I hated hospitals; I hated them with a passion. It was mostly because I was always here for someone else. And the nurses were just way too happy and mostly because it's smelled like cleaning products.

The reason I hate it so much right now is because I've been sitting in this small quiet room waiting for my mother to wake up since bringing her in last night. They said she had alcohol poisoning and was very lucky to have gotten here just in the nick of time. Seeing as though she could've choked on her vomit while she was passed out, and then that would've been it.

I had a lot on my mind and sleeping was just out of the question. Alberta kept Meredith overnight which didn't go well since Mer saw the paramedics take my mother. Dimitri went to see her and had her call me so I could calm her down. She cried, asked if mommy was okay and when we could go home. I told her I didn't know and it sucked because that was true. I had a lot to think about and it was all I did as I sat here.

I didn't feel like I was going to lose my mind anymore and I didn't want to cry either. Which was good but kind of sad if you really think about it. I mean this was my mother but I was tired of it. Of everything going on and I had decided this is where it would stop. This is the last time I'm going to be taking care of my mother. The last time I let her disappoint Meredith. Just altogether the last time.

In about three months, I would be graduating and heading toward my future. I didn't want it to include cleaning up bottles, wiping vomit and having my boyfriend rescue me from my mother's abusive drinking significant others. It included some kind of peace, a time where I could actually enjoy being eighteen and maybe even go to college. I would always take care of Meredith, that was a given, but I wouldn't let her down anymore. I wouldn't let Janine hurt her.

So with the alternative I've decided to give my mother, it was now the moment to act on my promise. The promise to myself that things would be different from now on and Meredith would get a chance at a real childhood. The chance I never had.

I know she's awake when she clears her dry throat. The automatic reflex of her arm shooting out to the right side where normally a glass bottle of something strong would be waiting for her. The disappointing sigh she releases when her hand doesn't grasp it but only empty air.

'You're in a hospital; they don't allow alcohol in hospitals.' She sighs again at my low empty tone of voice.

'Why-' I get up slowly and hand her the water so she could clear her throat and speak normally. She drinks it with a scowl but finishes the whole cup. 'Why am I here?'

'You tell me... If you can remember?'

'I'm not in the mood for your attitude, Rosemarie, just answer the goddam question.' It's my turn to sigh and I watch as her hand rubs her head as if it would magically make the pain go away.

'You passed out, too much scotch and Jack. I had to call the ambulance because you wouldn't wake up.' She sighs again and makes a tired noise through her throat. 'Don't worry; you'll be able to drink again by tomorrow morning. Next time stick to one brand though, okay?'

She sighs frustrated, 'Boy, you couldn't resist that one could you? I bet you like this, some leverage over me the next time I fuck up.' I shrug not in the mood for another argument.

I just want to say what I've been waiting to say and leave. Go back to Meredith and tell her we were going to be okay after this. 'There won't be a next time for you to fuck up, not with me. Meredith is fine by the way; she's staying with Alberta, thanks for asking.' I stand up again and make my way to the window.

I keep my eyes to the outside, blank of any expression as I watch the day pass. The sun was out today, the wind noticeable but not too crazy and the fall showing everywhere with all the leaves glowing their colors. I wanted to go outside. I wanted to be out there far away from all the destruction my mother has laid upon me. I wanted to be at the park with Meredith, running and chasing each other through the piles and piles of leaves left by the many surrounding trees.

Anywhere where I didn't have to deal with my mother would've been great.

The sound of Janine's smug laughter snaps me out of my mind, 'Why do you hate me so much, little girl? Is your life that miserable that you can't even have a decent conversation with your mother?'

'My mother is a drunk who let her sick perverted boyfriend watches my little five year old sister while she was-' I stop to take a deep breath and not get too worked up. I couldn't give her that satisfaction. 'It doesn't matter; you let him do that to Meredith. You let him sit there and-and then you don't even do anything about it?'

'I tried, Rosemarie, I tried!' She sits up now, her full attention on me as she tries to defend herself but there was no excuse. 'He was too strong for me to stop, he-I couldn't get him to leave, he wouldn't budge or move and I was-'

'You were drunk... or on your way to being drunk. You didn't try hard enough! You just let him- you let him hurt her and then he was hitting you and you did nothing but take it!' By this time my voice was loud, the tears blurring my eyes and I felt no need to stop it.

I still wasn't facing her and I didn't want to at the moment. I just wanted to get everything out. I wanted to finally be able to let her know just how much she fucked up this time. Everything from before this and most likely after, she had to know how much it affected me and Meredith. I could let her live with the guilt now, I was free of it.

'I don't understand, I don't get how you could be that weak and how you could let something like that happen to us? To Meredith! How could you, how could you let this happen-'

'You think I don't feel guilty, Rosemarie? I brought that man into our lives and I brought-'

'Yeah, you did! You brought him into it along with all that other shit you bring, mom!'

By this time my eyes were dead set on hers. There was a fire in my voice and a blaze in my eyes as I finally let her have it. It felt good; it felt really good to finally make her see what she has done.

'The drinking, the never coming home and letting Meredith worry day and night about you! You thinking it was okay to bring some asshole into our house and let him think he was going to get away with that! Letting yourself get so drunk you didn't know what you were doing half the time! All of it, it's your entire fault and I'm done with it!'

I was breathing pretty heavy by this time and the tears in my vision weren't helping any. I was angry with her and everything she's done and didn't do. So angry that I was robbed of my childhood and now Meredith was too but I would stop it. Here and now, I would stop it. I was so angry I was crying.

'This isn't fair mom. This is not how we are supposed to be living! It's not fair to Meredith or to me and I'm tired of it! I'm done.' Janine's heads falls into her hands and her shoulders bounce from the silent cries she releases.

I take a deep breath and try to relax myself. We were being really loud and I didn't want anyone coming in and breaking this long awaited so-called conversation. Not without saying what I wanted to say and get things off of my chest. I take another deep breath and brace myself. I turn to her fully and walk slowly over to hand her a tissue. A sigh escapes me and in low voice I say my piece.

'You hurt us, all of the time, over and over again. I'm not going to let it happen anymore.' Surprisingly, she nods while wiping her nose.

'I know.' Does she really? Or is this some kind of excuse?

'I'm giving you the option to walk away, to leave and let me take care of Meredith in peace.'

At this I capture her eyes in mine and for the first time in a long time, I see my mother vulnerable. The blue of her eyes, so much like the ones Meredith inherited gloss with unshed tears. It was shock, disbelief, as if she was searching my eyes for the truth of the words and she found it. A gasp echoes as her eyes move in worried glances as she takes in what I'm saying.

Then a moment of silence passes as she realizes; I was serious.

'Or you can take responsibility... check into rehab, get help before it's too late and make up for the time you've already lost.' She looks down to her lap and some tears fall onto her hands. 'I should hate you, but I don't. That's why I'm saying this, that's why I'm giving you another chance.'

I don't know why exactly but the way Meredith's concerns flow through my mind, I know I have to at least give her another chance. Janine wipes her nose with the tissue and then nods again but avoids my eyes. 'I wouldn't blame you if you did, Rosemarie. Not even a little bit, I've put you and your sister both through such hell.'

It was shocking to hear her admit her being wrong. And as shocking as it was, it also meant I was finally getting somewhere with her, hopefully.

'I know I'm not a good mother and I know I don't deserve anything like this from you, Rose. I know that but I-I was so lost… I was miserable and lonely and- and unfair. I was being so unfair.'

'You were being selfish, just like before Meredith's father.' She nods again in agreement.

It struck me as odd why she was finally agreeing with me. I figured it had to do with what Hans had done and how much she hurt Meredith. It's sad that it wasn't me who had finally got to her but Meredith. I didn't care though, as long as something was changing, I didn't care.

'I know and it's why I'm going to do this. I'm going to change and do things the right way. I can't lose Meredith. What happen with Hans, I wish I could go back fight harder. I wish I could go back and change it, but I can't...'

No, she couldn't. 'Then you need to be better than this, for Meredith and for yourself.'

She nods again still crying, 'I know. I know and that day, Rosemarie, that day I just wanted to shoot myself for what happen. I wanted to just die for not protecting my babies.'

I swallow the sudden emotion rising up when she said _my babies_ and decide I wasn't going to let her pull me in. Not just yet, there's still got to be some guard between us. 'No more Hans or any men or things that could hurt you.'

'Okay. Okay, no more.' She nods obediently.

'No more drinking and putting Meredith on the back burner.' Another nod as she wipes her eyes.

'Okay.' Her voice cracks and she begins sobbing as I watch her with hesitance.

'Just because you've ruined your chances with me doesn't mean its okay to disappoint her. You get better for her, you change for her. You make things right!' Suddenly the emotions entrap me too and I begin to try and fight them back. My eyes water as my voice cracks and the lump in my throat threatening to release sobs becomes too big to swallow.

'I understand, Rosemarie. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry for everything. Everything I've done.' She looks to me with hopeful eyes and there's still tears falling down her cheeks from them.

'You better.' My voice cracks again and I can't fight the crying anymore. 'I can never forgive you for what you put me through. I can try and work on it but I'm not making any promises.' She nods again crying even harder and trying to gain control of her arms that were starting to reach out to me but dropped at my still body.

'You've embarrassed me and hurt me, over and over again... I almost lost myself because of you! You and the damage you've caused this family.' I take a deep breath and swallow it whole; releasing that and some more tears I somehow regain control. 'I know who I am now. I know because someone reminded me and showed me who I can be.'

'And I am _so_ in love with him and he loves me. _Real love,_ mom and I'm not going to let you ruin that.'

She nods one last time and finally meets my eyes with her watery blue ones. 'I know you won't, baby, and I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Rosemarie.'

'You can love Meredith more than you love me and you can drink your life away but you will not take him from me. Understand?'

She nods once again, knowing what I meant but this time she doesn't look back up to me with those hopeful eyes anymore. Looking to her lap and fidgeting with her fingers she whispers out of her croaky throat, 'I never wanted you to feel like this toward me, Rosemarie, never. I just want to do what's right for you... If that's leaving me out of your life then so be it, I-I deserve that.'

I swallow once again and slow my breathing, stepping away from her and to the chair I have been parked on for last twenty-four hours. 'You're still my mother and I'll still need you, but not like this.'

She sighs and I reach for my jacket to leave. 'I know. I owe it to you to change.'

As I step in front of the door, I almost reach for the knob but something she just said stops me. With a sigh, I turn and look at the mess that is my mother and silently wonder if she really can change.

'You owe it to yourself, mom.'

**...**

'You want me to go and get Meredith?' I nod answering Dimitri as he finishes helping me clean.

'I'll be right back. I love you, Roza.' He kisses my head and heads for the door leaving me with my thoughts.

_I love you too._ I think to myself. He didn't need to hear it though; he was just making sure I knew.

We were cleaning everything up and I don't know how but he knew I needed a moment alone. The house was clean and so was the mess Janine had made when I found her. The house, this home that I had grown up in was silent as ever. And for the first time in a long time; it was peaceful.

I take a moment to think back on everything that went on, everything that was said and done, and it brings silent tears to my eyes.

The whole fiasco with Adrian and Avery, the loss of my best friend who I've known since I was a little girl. The whole mess with Viktoria hating me and thinking I had to follow and be like those dumb people just to find some sort of social life for myself. The years and time of covering up my home life and the pain my mother had caused me. Meredith and meeting Dimitri, falling for Dimitri and loving Dimitri.

He truly was the best thing that ever happen to me and I would spend however long we had together thanking him for it with passionate kisses and long nights of love making. He meant so much to me, he changed my life and I would forever love him for it.

It all just came crashing down as the realization hit me. The tears fall quietly as I took a deep breath and inhaled the new start I had got for myself and Meredith. I wasn't going to carry around my mother as burden anymore, she was responsible for herself and she had to prove she was worth being in our lives. She had to work at getting us back to where I hoped we could be.

And if she did come through and actually prove that to me, I would thank whatever faith there was for it.

'Why are you crying?' Meredith's light voice shakes me out of the zone I got stuck in. I shrug and kneel down to her as she reaches to hug me.

She let's go after squeezing me and looks right into my eyes for a long couple of seconds. As if she was reading something in my eyes I couldn't yet say. Then after that, she smiles mildly and hugs me once more. 'Don't be scared, Roses, we'll be okay. As long we're together, we'll be fine, right?'

She pulls back and I smile through the tears as she waits for my answer. I nod and pull her into another hug, letting her know my answer through actions and not only words.

'Yeah. Yeah, we will.'

It was funny for this moment to happen. It was funny because I had always looked at it like I had to be there for Meredith. It was my duty, I was the older sister and that's how it was supposed to be. But every once in a while, at the most unexpected of times, she was there for me. And I loved her for it.

**Epilogue.**

'Okay, you got coloring books and Cheetos, Juny B. Jones to read. I think your all set, Mer bear.'

She nods to me with a mouth full of black bread and then stuffs another piece in her mouth as she sits on the Belikova's kitchen table.

I laugh and shake my head at her, 'Behave, kiddo, and don't give anyone a hard time, okay?' She nods again as Olena pats my shoulder entering the kitchen.

'You don't worry about a thing, Rose. Viktoria and I will have Meredith baking and cooking in no time. You go and enjoy your night, the both of you.'

I smile at her in thanks as she kisses mine and Dimitri's heads to see us off on our date. It was his last night here before he moved into the dorms of The University of Montana. So even though he wasn't that far away, we still wanted to spend as much time together as we could.

Things have been going pretty great these past few months. After graduation I had a got a job to help out around the house and save for college. I wasn't starting until the spring semester so I would be a little behind Dimitri, but I didn't care. As long as I got the chance to go.

'So why are we in the woods, in total darkness, alone?' He laughs and shakes his head at me.

He squeezes my hand that was grasped in his warm one and leads me on a dirt path into the woods. 'I've told you, Roza, I have something special for us. Just be patient, okay?'

I nod and sigh still a little agitated that he wouldn't tell me what was up. He's been planning this for a week now and wouldn't tell me anything except that Meredith was going to stay with Viktoria and all I had to do was relax. 'Oh, I'm not in a hurry, Comrade. I'm just wondering if I should be creped out that you're dragging me into the woods. At night. Where no one can see us...'

He turns around and with amusement with a hint of teasing in his eyes, he smiles. 'Exactly.'

I shake my head and laugh it off but when we come around a huge bush my smile drops. There in the middle of the woods, a grassy area where the trees seem to be surrounding it but also providing a bit of a view of the night sky lay before me. There was a small blanket laid out on the grass and it was centered in a perfect view of the stars.

'It's beautiful...'

Dimitri smiles and gives my hand another light squeeze before pulling me to sit in between his long legs on the blanket. 'I thought it would be nice just to get away from all the busy things going on and just sit out here together.'

I smile lean back into him as he wraps those strong arms around me and we're just; together. 'You could see the sky so clearly here.'

'Yeah, my grandmother used to bring us here when we were kids, me and Viktoria. We would actually camp out here. That was before she got sick and had to walk around with a cane, that was so long ago. I like it out here, it's peaceful.'

I nod and take in the moment. We didn't get a whole lot of them recently. I had work and so did he, if I wasn't with Meredith and visiting my mom then I was usually at home and Dimitri had something to do for school. Or he was spending time with Viktoria.

She had started coming around to us more often. We actually got along now which is kind of crazy since she used to hate my guts. She's the one who offered to watch Meredith tonight which surprised me and Dimitri both.

After they had talked about what was going on with her, Viktoria had realized that she didn't want be like everyone else. She wanted to be her own person and do her own thing just like her big brother did. She had seen how happy and carefree he was and decided she wanted to be that too. She was actually a nice girl who for some reason Meredith bonded with, I think it was their love for the color pink and Hello Kitty. I don't get it though; I mean it's just a cat.

'It is peaceful, no noise or responsibility around. It's nice. Thank you for doing this.' I turn around and whisper on his lips giving him a kiss.

'You're welcome.' he replies with a kiss of his own.

'So any word from the love birds, yet?' He laughs and moves us so we're lying down on the blanket.

'They're both in different dorm buildings and Christian is an idiot because he hasn't decided on a major yet. Jill is bossy and needs to back off and let him -and I quote- be a man, and let him make up his mind when he's good and ready.' We laugh at our friends and their weird relationship.

Christian and Jill had finally decided to try things out. They were taking things slow this summer but when Christian revealed he was going to college in California it struck a whole new deal with them. Jill ended up switching schools from Berkeley to USC so they could be together.

It was odd at first, seeing them doing couple things and then arguing about who wore the pants in the relationship two seconds later. Dimitri and I just figured that's the way they were and so we just got used to it. 'She dumped him because of his lack for making decisions and then they got back together four hours later when Christian explained he was stuck between Computer Technology or culinary arts.'

'Really? Christian?' Dimitri nods and smiles pulling me closer to his body.

He sighed, 'Jill says she only took him back because either way, he would make good money or good food.'

He shrugs when I give him a look of confusion and we laugh it off. We lay there in silence for a few minutes and just be together, holding hands and kissing, laughing and kissing and then kissing.

It was peaceful. It was something I needed too because as of tomorrow we didn't know when we be able to have time together like this.

It was something I worried about a lot too. Him being off in college and me being back here, there was a lot time where we wouldn't be able to have together. I was worried about the people he would meet and the friends he would make. The girls who weren't like Lissa and Avery and only dated according to reputation.

It was a big fear of mine that some girl would come into Dimitri's life and see how great of a guy he was, and then possibly take him from right under me. He would reassure me that it was only one semester and then I would be there with him and we would have our time.

It was still scary to think of the possibility. I trusted him though.

'What are you thinking about, Roza?' I shake my head and place it back on his chest trying extremely hard to keep my worried eyes away from his. He gently turns my chin so our eyes meet and immediately knows what I was thinking. With a sigh he kisses my forehead and speaks so low I almost don't hear his promising words.

'I've told you, time and time again Rose, I'm not going anywhere. It's just for a few months and then we'll be together again, it will go by so quickly.' I sigh this time and close my eyes to hide the worry.

'What if you meet someone during those few months? What if you find someone better and then you don't want me anymore? That can happen, you know, people fall out of love all the time, Dimitri.' He sits up and brings me with him.

This was something I have been trying to work on since we found out he got in to U of M. I knew it was driving him crazy but in my experience, good things didn't last too long. He lightly pecks my nose and then my forehead, 'Roza, I love you. I am so in love with you, my grandmother keeps asking me if you have given me my balls back yet.'

It was true, whenever I was over at the Belikova's, Yeva or Viktoria would joke about how whipped Dimitri was and give us both a hard time about it. Although, it was funny most of the time, it was also true. I pretty much had him as much as he had me. 'All that doubt circling your big beautiful head is unnecessary.' He kisses me deeply and we lose ourselves in the passion for a couple of seconds before he breaks it and speaks again.

'I'm saying though, don't worry about the _what if's_ and all that. I love you and you love me, and I'm telling you right now, that I'm not going to leave you. Or break up with you for someone else. If anything you're probably the one who's going to end up breaking up with me.'

I roll my eyes at him as he scoots me closer by my legs and then I'm sitting on his lap. Our eyes connect and never move from each other. My arms wrap themselves around his neck and our lips barely touching as he holds me close to him.

'I'm going to be there for you, whenever you need me to be and I'm going to wait for you to join me at school. In the meantime, I don't want you to worry, okay?' I reluctantly nod. 'I mean it, Roza. I will always love you, even if some guy comes along and whisks you away from me. I will never love anyone the way or as much as I love you.' I smile at attempt to cheer me up and the unnecessary use of whisks.

I lean my head onto his and close my eyes with a smile. Who was he kidding, I would never leave him. He meant too much to me to just stop loving him.

We kiss again and this time I take the lead and push him back onto the blanket. 'Okay.' And with that one word, the doubt is gone and I'm so wrapped up in Dimitri's lips so are all thoughts and worries.

**...**

'Are you ready?'

Meredith nods and fixes up her back pack as we make our way to the cafeteria where Janine was waiting for us. When we would visit her, it usually went her and Meredith doing most of the talking. I would answer what questions she asked me and every once in a while ask her something but I was still hesitant to forgive her all the way.

We were working on it thought, well, trying at least.

My mother checked into a rehabilitation center a few days after getting released from the hospital. She has been doing really good and Meredith and I visit her whenever we can. Alberta has even gone to see her and said Janine broke down in thanks for all that she had done for us girls.

Meredith and my mother's relationship has progressed a lot since then, especially after Janine explained to Meredith that she was getting help to be a better mother. Meredith understood and was happy for it, but sometimes she would cry missing the little moments she and my mother would have. Those were nights she slept with me in my room and I would tell her how in the end -hopefully- it was for the good of our family.

'Hey, there are my girls!'

The excitement in her eyes sometimes makes we want to just drop everything and forgive her. There is some part of me that keeps reminding me of what we went through and then that sudden urge fades. Dimitri says it's because I want to forgive her but I just need time for my head to catch up with my heart. Whatever that means.

As we sit, Meredith goes off on how excited she is to start school again and how bad she feels since she can't see Henry anymore.

I sit and let them visit, often catching Janine's subtle glances to me. I smile small toward her most times and she follows with her own. Janine knew I was going to be a challenge for her; there was too much history and anger there. She understood though and didn't push me thankfully. She just sort of took what I gave her and let me set the pace.

'And Dimitri got me a skateboard, mommy! It's really pretty; it's pink, well, except for the top part that's black. It's called the grip and you have to set your foot on it a certain way and it keeps the board on and you can do tricks. Oh! And it's got this graphic -that's the pretty picture on the bottom of the board- it's a pink girl, like the girl they use on the restroom signs. It's really cool.'

I shrug and smile uncomfortably at my mother's questionable glance to me when Meredith mentions the board Dimitri got her.

'I told him not to get her one but he wanted to... He's teaching her how to ride it and she has pads and a helmet. I make sure she wears them... It's just something they do together, it makes her happy.' My mother nods and focuses back on Mer.

**...**

'So how did it go?' I sigh and buckle up as Dimitri picks me up from work later that day.

It was the weekend and he finished his first week of school. So he was spending the weekend with me and Meredith since I didn't have to work the next day.

'It actually went good. She asked about you and offered to help pay for school when I start. She promised many times that she would be ready by the time school started to take care of everything. Oh and Meredith told her you bought her a skateboard.'

Dimitri double glances at me to see if I'm joking but I wasn't. 'Is she-what did she say?'

I smile at his worried expression and shake my head amused. 'She didn't say anything, just that if Meredith breaks any bones, she was going to break yours.' He swallows and stood quiet as I smiled teasingly at him. 'It went good, Comrade. She seemed like she was okay, you know? Like she was really trying to make this work.'

I was still skeptical but I was trying to be optimistic as well. 'Well that's all you can ask for, right? To try?' I nod and look to him as he leans over and our lips meet.

'I love you, Roza.' He whispers on my lips.

I smile to him as he reaches for my hand and we drive home. Looking out the window, I realize that's all I'll ever need. The people who mean most to me. Those are the people I should've been working hard to keep around.

I didn't need to be someone I wasn't or didn't want to be in order to avoid real life. In order to avoid the crappy situation I was in. Things can change, people can change and I could be myself. I could have a bad home life, a little sister to raise and those people would still love me anyway.

That I learned from the person who I love more than anything in the world, well, one of the people who I love more than anything in the world. My tutor.

**Welp, thats all folks. Im not too happy with the ending but ive been so wrapped up in getting my next story off the ground that it was hard to focus on this, apologies. Id like to thank everyone for the favorites, follows and reviews. I would mostly like to thank everyone who read this, it was a personal story I took a chance to write about and im glad people actually gave it a chance.**

**So let me know what you think, if you want to and Thank you for reading.**

****-Riv.


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